Mama's Fallen Angel

I was so busy catching up on my guilty pleasure show, Teen Mom, that I missed the beginning of Top Model. Ann, that tall rascal, enlisted Rhianna & Lexi's help in creating a fake list of make overs. MUHAHAHAHA! So crafty. Oh, it's going to be a long season.

But yes yes, it's make over time! Most of them looked better, Kayla has awesome red hair. I likes it! Liz looks cute w/ super short hair. Except she threw a hissy fit. But what the hell happened to Sara? Chocolate brown shoulder length hair which is fine but they fucking gave her uber light blond eyebrows. Blech! Also, Chelsey had her teeth gap widen. Wait wait wait! Was it not a mere 4 years ago that Tyra(nt) made Cycle 6's winner Danielle get her gap CLOSED? Oh my head! Anyways, that sneaky Tyra(nt) thew in the challenge at the salon. The hamsters had to make their new looks work. And Terra was a big sobbing mess, Lexie lacked confidence & Liz had a pissy attitude. And in a surprise elimination Terra was sent home, much to her sister Chris' dismay. See ya around, Shorty!

For the Photo Challenge, the chicks had to don a pair of wings & step into a harness to portray a fallen angel and using an emotion or adjective of their choosing. With male models! Most of the hamsters were really terrible. Just a scant four out of 12 pictures that were outstanding. Personally, I think Rhianna got the shaft. Her picture of "hopeless/sultry" (the fuck? that doesn't go together) was much better over Chris' "broken hearted". However, winning photo went to Ann, again! Go Amazon go! And going home was Sara's blond eyebrows.

I think this episode would have been a lot more awesome if vintage Poison had been playing in the background.

Red Hots for my Mommy

Oh people, what an episode!

And frequent guest judge and Top Chef Masters cheftestant, Elizabeth Falkner, is in the kitchen w/ Gail. For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants had to take candy and transform it into a dessert. Mmmhmmm Sour Patch Kids! Those are my non-chocolate candy. But I digress. The losers were Heather C. (my fave) because she didn't incorporate any candy. Girl, that was the whole point of the challenge, head in game & out of ass! Eric's malt ball pudding, malt is a truly vile flavour. And Seth, who is proving he is quite a cuku bananas. He chose to make a passionfruit sorbet w/ red hots. Which apparently are his sick diabetic mother's candy o' choice. We know this because Seth curled up on the floor of the kitchen sobbing hysterically, "THE RED HOTS ARE FOR MY MOMMY!!!!" Dude, it's the second challenge. Calm thyself. I was embarrassed for him. Best candy dessert went to Danielle's worms in dirt and lemon soda. I fucking hate that dessert and I dislike Danielle. Her face looks like a piece of chewed up gum.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants took a road to trip to another Masters alum's restaurant, Mark Peel's The Tar Pit. That's kind of an awesome name, I'd drink at the The Tar Pit. Anyways, the cheftestants have to make a dessert inspired for a cocktail. The cheftestants took turns in numerical order to raid the bar. And yet again, Seth has another melt down because there was no grapefruit for his Greyhound dessert. Ah, my fave cocktail! Greyhound = grapefruit + vodka. So then when the cheftestants are plating for the judges, Seth "accidentally" destroyed Zac's chocolate squares. Also, while awaiting the judges' results, Seth started shrieking that everyone can suck his dick. Nice, all class w/ this guy. And yet this guy was not sent home for his crap that looked like blue sponges. Nope, unfortunately , Tim's poopy soupy pudding sent him a-packin'. And the winner was Erica's lime cookie, tequila mousse & Grand Marnier sauce. It looked like a pretty Margarita.

Next week, bake sale!

I Don't Know how to Fix this

http://thursdaythunks.blogspot.com/2010/09/stupid-questions-by-kimber.html

The TT questions are brought to you by Kimber, the color of absolute black granite and the number 16.

101. When was the last time you went to the doctor? Do you like your doctor? Last November, time for my check up. I like her except she tried to get me to do the South Beach diet. LAME!

201. My back is itching, will you scratch it for me? Yes

301. Do you have nice handwriting? No, it's awful!

401. We are sending you to either New Zealand or Canada, which one do you choose? New Zealand!!!

501. Do you sing in the shower? Not that I'm aware of

601. Have you ever been streaking? If so, how far did you streak and did anyone see you? No

701. How soon is too soon for Christmas decorations and music playing in the stores? September, EWW GROSSS!

801. If you celebrated Halloween as a kid what was the costume you wore at 5? I was a brown rabbit, I even had a giant stuffed carrot

901. How many cavities have you had in your life? 10 or something. I've never kept track

1001. Berleen and Bud come to Arizona to visit Kimber. Who do you think will decide it's too hot here first? Bud, he seems kind of particular

1101. Who do you think will ask TT questions next week? Bud

Sloth

When I was in Catholic school, I always thought wrath and lust were the worst out of all the deadly sins. But I was wrong, DEAD wrong. Sloth is killing me. I had this really great post about wedding stuff and there's all kinds of cool recipes I want to share and memes and recaps.

But I have a horrible case of the "fuck-its". I hope you all aren't horrendously tired of my lame excuse week after week but I just can't get it up for you folks right now.

And I need to decide what I should wear to Oktoberfest this Saturday...

Spaced Out Meme

http://curiousasacat.blogspot.com/2010/09/week-number-238.html

1) What was your first conscious thought this morning? Why was I dreaming about boarding school?

2) Discuss a book that left you disappointed. A gender identity non-fiction piece, too cerebral for me.

3) Do you ever talk to telemarketers, or do you just hang up on them? Hang up!

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "LEAPING LIZARDS!"

Skinny Minnie

Top Model is back, bitches! Sorry it took so long to put up this post but I was freakin' tired on Wednesday.

We have 14 hamsters are vieing to become obsolete. Seriously, what does this show do other than feed Tyra(nt) Banks' giant ego and booty?

For the challenge, the model wannabes had to walk on a runway....suspended in the air. And they have to do their own hair and makeup. Oh Tyra, just admit it, you want to those skinny young bitches to die. But at least it's a real runway show, Diane Von Furstenberg, dontcha know? Wrap yr wrap dresses around my soul! No winner chosen, just a forced death march.

For the photo shoot, the hamsters posed in bikinis and a hateful word written on them and a their power word to counter-act the bully taunt. And winning photo of the week went to TALL Ann, she's over 6 ft tall. She quirky but I likes her and she's fucking hilarious. Ann told some of the hamsters that her ideal man is a 60 year old bearded warlock that can make sushi. LOVE! Ann has gone from "giant" to "Amazon". I also like Kayla, the cute lesbian, "queer/free". And Rhianna the hippie "stupid/undefinable", she kind of looks like Liz Phair, so obviously I love her. And packing it up was Anamaria w/ her stank ass attitude and her anorexia. She weighs 110 lbs! On purpose!

Make overs next week!

Happy Place Thunk

http://thursdaythunks.blogspot.com/2010/09/whats-in-name.html

The TT questions are brought to you by Bud, the color ofKimber's hair (where did she go?) and the number333.

1. We are changing your name. You have no choice. You get to pick it, but we must approve it. You must have a good reason. Ok, what is the name and reason? Lily because Susan is derived from both Latin & Hebrew words meaning "lily"

2. I say Shotgun, you say? Wedding

3. We are sending you away. Africa or Mexico? Mexico!! All the way, I lived there for 3 months when I was in college. Great food, great drinks, cheap way to live.

4. When you're home alone, do you still close the door when you use the restroom? Not always. Don't you judge me!

5. Berleen told me that I have to ask a mean question. Tell us about a horrible memory. I'm not answering this question. I mire too much in the horrible as it is.

6. What are your plans for October? Octoberfest @ Wolff's, going to South Hadley/Northampton for Columbus Day weekend, giant sized margarita for my birthday, dressing up as a spaghetti western for Halloween. I love October!!!

7. Is there anyone that you regret ever meeting ? Sure but I don't waste my time too much thinking about them

8. You have 3 months left to live, what do you do? Travel down to someplace tropical, sit on the beach and drink, have lots of public sex

9. You wake up in an unfamiliar place, what is your first reaction? "Was I roofied?"

10. Your phone rings at 4am, just before you kill this person, who do you expect it would be? My mother w/ an emergency

11. You're having a bad day, what one thing can make your day better? A happy song & belly kisses

12. You are doing a meme written by the blogosphere's shadiest character. Is there anything else that you should be doing right now? My nail polish is looking pretty raggedy....

13. If money were not a problem, (and it never is, right? Yes, I stole this f$%*ing question. Sue me.) where would you like to live? A wooded cabin on the lake