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Thursday, August 28, 2008

5 People I'd have a Beer With

My dear friend Matt of the funny and well written blog challenged me to answer this question of whom I would kick back some suds with, living, dead or fictional. I never back down from any man, so here goes:

1. I would love to have some one on one time w/ A.M. Homes, she's a fascinating writer and so little is known about her. From what I've read in her memoir The Mistress' Daughter, I can see why she shies away from the general public.

2. Jeff Buckley, he died too young but left 3 fabulous CD's behind. His songs have great imagery and he has real flair for titles and wonderful sense of humour. I bought Grace a few months before he drowned in the Mississippi river.

3. Another dead guy, Peter Sellers, how fucking funny would he be at the bar. All his characters and wonderful improvisation. Plus I would totally sleep w/ him. Not know of course, that's just gross.

4. I am madly in love with the book The Whores on the Hill, mainly because of the character of Astrid, as she is puts it "we are young and out for glory". And also because I condone underage drinking.

5. Last and certainly not least, Margaret Cho. Now I know she no longer drinks but I adore her and weirdly enough I think I have alot in common w/ Ms. Cho. Though that just may be fan wanking.

The gauntlet has been thrown Matt!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Oh Bother!

One of my favourite Walt Whitman quotes is "Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes." Right on, Walt! I consider being contrary a charming aspect of my personality. Please note I did not use the word "hypocritical", there is a world of difference.

My point is, and I do have one, I detest honey. It's vile bee vomit as far as I'm concerned. However, I use honey shampoo and conditioner, honey glycerin soap (both made by The Body Shop) and honey and orange peel body lotion (Burt's Bees). What gives, you may ask? I have no earthly idea, the shit works good.

And this from a woman that spent 20 minutes trying to open an organic lime soda juice thing, only to be revolted and threw it out because it tasted GOD DAMNED HONEY. *shudder* shock horror vomit.

I live you with another ode to Mr. Whitman via Homer J. Simpson "Damn you Walt freakin' Whitman. Leaves of Grass, my ass!"

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Summertime Blues

*SIGH* Summer is almost over. I can't help but get the blues when August starts winding down. I guess I never fully got over that impending doom of returning to school. But I take some comfort in the "Gather ye rosebuds, while ye may." sentiment. I forgot which immortal poet penned those lines but right on, bro.

Summer is my fave season, long sunny days, diving into cold water, walking around barefooted. That weird feeling that the possibilities are endless before the cold harsh winter envelopes me fully too quickly and for too long.

Who knows maybe this winter will be different, I've been thinking of getting in touch w/ my underdeveloped artsy craftsy side. Generation T people and I'll leave it at that.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Pho Me!

I had the prilevedge of going out to dinner w/ my sexy beast recently. We have this weird bad luck thing following us when we attempt to go out for Vietnamese food. We've gone to the wrong restaurant, they've been closed for 2 weeks cause of Independence Day (you figure that one out!), etc.

In my humble opinion, the best of all Asian foods comes from Vietnam. So we finally manage to get there after 3 long months of being Vietnamese-less. Oh boy it was worth the wait! I had the fresh Summer Rolls, diced tofu, cucumber, scallions and bean sprouts stuffed in rice paper (it turns clear when you heat it!) followed by the beef eye round pho. Pho is pronounced fuh for all you Vietnamese neophytes and is a delicious stew like concoction of broth, meat, lime, bean sprouts, scallions, hot sauce and cilantro. Holy God mouth orgasms for days! Sexy Beast is addicted to the coffee, I can't really describe it but it's strong and sweet all at the same time.

Hmmm.... maybe in another 3 months I'll get to go there again barring famine, flood and pestulence.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Who Me

I am obsessed with all things Doctor Who, except for the crappy spin-offs! My obsession began late one night at my aunt and uncle's house. I was sleep walking, my aunt had on PBS (as she was apt to do as she was British and cultured) and I vividly recall a commercial for Doctor Who, showcasing Doctors 3, 4 and 5, with the tag line "Who's Doctor Who?". I was immediately sucked in, yes yes who was this mysterious man? Then I knew, it was the tall guy with the big nose and long multicoloured scarf. (the lovely and talented actor Tom Baker whom I have non-sexual crush on)

For those of you not in the loop, the premise of the show is that ubiquitous Doctor is a Time Lord, one who can travel in time and space with the help of his craft, and gets into all sorts of adventures. Theactor who played the first Doctor did feel like being a part of the show after three years, the show was a huge success and not wanting to end it so quickly, invented the power of regeneration for The Doctor. Pretty clever way of keeping the show running actually.

The show began in 1963 and I really dig the cheesiness of the costumes, sets and the scriptwriters' ideas of what Earth life would be like in the future.

To my complete and utter delight, the show was relaunched in 2005 after a 16 year absence. I adore the new improved Doctor, esp. that handsome devil David Tennant, the actor playing The Doctor. *swoon*

I live you with this: Exterminate! Exterminate!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I Don't Wanna Grow Up!

I am 32 years old. I will be 33 in October. I often get mistaken for looking much younger than my almost 33 years. This doesn't bother at all anymore. However, when I was shopping for a strapless bra for my college graduation and the saleswoman told me to have a nice prom, I wanted to jump behind the register and kick her in the throat.

I'll get to the point. I love the Mr. Men and Little Miss books of my youth. It's a wonderfully written series by British children's novelist Roger Hargreaves. Lots of Brit slang and a sweet short stories. My love become reignited when my oldest niece ZoZo Beans began digging through a box of my old stuff I have stored at my parents.

You couldn't believe my excitement when I discovered Cartoon Network was premiering The Mr. Men Show. I have Tifauxed all the episodes and then recap them in great length with ZoZo Beans. The animators did take some liberties by renaming characters, inventing new ones, etc. but it's funny, well written and entertaining.

Well I'm off to try on my Miss Chatterbox T-shirt. It makes my boobs look nice.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Zombie: Eat Flesh!

Well my friends, it's only the second full week of August and I'm already booking stuff in September. This weekend my sexy beast and I took full advantage of not doing anything at all. Our weekend was basically 2 1/2 days of a Seinfeld episode, it was fun but nothing really happened.

In our quest of becoming artfully lazy, we watched aprox. 30 movies back to back. My sexy beast is a bit of a horror geek so I soaked in the brilliance of Dawn of the Dead. People, this is a beauty. The basic plot is zombies take over the world and 4 humans take refuge in a shopping center. Not only does this mall have a gun store and a helicopter pad but an ice skating rink! Plus the usual melange of exploding heads and limbs getting devoured.

But what director George A. Romero was really doing was making a clever comment about consumer consumption and the way the human race eats itself.

Good stuff. *Viewer advisory: do not watch on a full stomach*

Monday, August 4, 2008

Ms. Green Jeans

UGH! I have been stress eating from my job. So I decided to put down the fork and use retail therapy instead. My mood somewhat abated when I saved 15 bucks at The Body Shop.

I adore the Body Shop, the sights, the smells, the deals, the fact that they donate large sums of money to worthy causes, like AIDS and breast cancer research, animal rights and anti- violence against women groups.

Being in the mopey mood that I was, I let the salesgirl talk me into lots o' different things I didn't realize I needed. Honestly, I only went in there for my 20% off towards shampoo, conditioner and powdered makeup. But to earn more points on my Love Yr Body membership card, I needed to purchase more stuff. Like Hemp Hand Conditioner, it makes yr hands feel like in they are in velvet gloves, Juicy Peach Hi-Shine Lip Treatment, now my lips are shiny, soft and taste like Snapple Pea Ice Tea (good for smooching!) and Tea Tree Oil Deep Cleansing Wipes, I am lazy, they named the lazy Susan after me, when I get ready for bed I don't feel like tying up my hair, running the water and manually washing my face. Thanks to The Body Shop, I can clean my face in quick swipe with a wipe.

My advice: go now, lots of summer promotions!