Total Pageviews

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Mama's Fallen Angel

I was so busy catching up on my guilty pleasure show, Teen Mom, that I missed the beginning of Top Model. Ann, that tall rascal, enlisted Rhianna & Lexi's help in creating a fake list of make overs. MUHAHAHAHA! So crafty. Oh, it's going to be a long season.

But yes yes, it's make over time! Most of them looked better, Kayla has awesome red hair. I likes it! Liz looks cute w/ super short hair. Except she threw a hissy fit. But what the hell happened to Sara? Chocolate brown shoulder length hair which is fine but they fucking gave her uber light blond eyebrows. Blech! Also, Chelsey had her teeth gap widen. Wait wait wait! Was it not a mere 4 years ago that Tyra(nt) made Cycle 6's winner Danielle get her gap CLOSED? Oh my head! Anyways, that sneaky Tyra(nt) thew in the challenge at the salon. The hamsters had to make their new looks work. And Terra was a big sobbing mess, Lexie lacked confidence & Liz had a pissy attitude. And in a surprise elimination Terra was sent home, much to her sister Chris' dismay. See ya around, Shorty!

For the Photo Challenge, the chicks had to don a pair of wings & step into a harness to portray a fallen angel and using an emotion or adjective of their choosing. With male models! Most of the hamsters were really terrible. Just a scant four out of 12 pictures that were outstanding. Personally, I think Rhianna got the shaft. Her picture of "hopeless/sultry" (the fuck? that doesn't go together) was much better over Chris' "broken hearted". However, winning photo went to Ann, again! Go Amazon go! And going home was Sara's blond eyebrows.

I think this episode would have been a lot more awesome if vintage Poison had been playing in the background.

Red Hots for my Mommy

Oh people, what an episode!

And frequent guest judge and Top Chef Masters cheftestant, Elizabeth Falkner, is in the kitchen w/ Gail. For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants had to take candy and transform it into a dessert. Mmmhmmm Sour Patch Kids! Those are my non-chocolate candy. But I digress. The losers were Heather C. (my fave) because she didn't incorporate any candy. Girl, that was the whole point of the challenge, head in game & out of ass! Eric's malt ball pudding, malt is a truly vile flavour. And Seth, who is proving he is quite a cuku bananas. He chose to make a passionfruit sorbet w/ red hots. Which apparently are his sick diabetic mother's candy o' choice. We know this because Seth curled up on the floor of the kitchen sobbing hysterically, "THE RED HOTS ARE FOR MY MOMMY!!!!" Dude, it's the second challenge. Calm thyself. I was embarrassed for him. Best candy dessert went to Danielle's worms in dirt and lemon soda. I fucking hate that dessert and I dislike Danielle. Her face looks like a piece of chewed up gum.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants took a road to trip to another Masters alum's restaurant, Mark Peel's The Tar Pit. That's kind of an awesome name, I'd drink at the The Tar Pit. Anyways, the cheftestants have to make a dessert inspired for a cocktail. The cheftestants took turns in numerical order to raid the bar. And yet again, Seth has another melt down because there was no grapefruit for his Greyhound dessert. Ah, my fave cocktail! Greyhound = grapefruit + vodka. So then when the cheftestants are plating for the judges, Seth "accidentally" destroyed Zac's chocolate squares. Also, while awaiting the judges' results, Seth started shrieking that everyone can suck his dick. Nice, all class w/ this guy. And yet this guy was not sent home for his crap that looked like blue sponges. Nope, unfortunately , Tim's poopy soupy pudding sent him a-packin'. And the winner was Erica's lime cookie, tequila mousse & Grand Marnier sauce. It looked like a pretty Margarita.

Next week, bake sale!

I Don't Know how to Fix this

The TT questions are brought to you by Kimber, the color of absolute black granite and the number 16.

101. When was the last time you went to the doctor? Do you like your doctor? Last November, time for my check up. I like her except she tried to get me to do the South Beach diet. LAME!

201. My back is itching, will you scratch it for me? Yes

301. Do you have nice handwriting? No, it's awful!

401. We are sending you to either New Zealand or Canada, which one do you choose? New Zealand!!!

501. Do you sing in the shower? Not that I'm aware of

601. Have you ever been streaking? If so, how far did you streak and did anyone see you? No

701. How soon is too soon for Christmas decorations and music playing in the stores? September, EWW GROSSS!

801. If you celebrated Halloween as a kid what was the costume you wore at 5? I was a brown rabbit, I even had a giant stuffed carrot

901. How many cavities have you had in your life? 10 or something. I've never kept track

1001. Berleen and Bud come to Arizona to visit Kimber. Who do you think will decide it's too hot here first? Bud, he seems kind of particular

1101. Who do you think will ask TT questions next week? Bud

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


When I was in Catholic school, I always thought wrath and lust were the worst out of all the deadly sins. But I was wrong, DEAD wrong. Sloth is killing me. I had this really great post about wedding stuff and there's all kinds of cool recipes I want to share and memes and recaps.

But I have a horrible case of the "fuck-its". I hope you all aren't horrendously tired of my lame excuse week after week but I just can't get it up for you folks right now.

And I need to decide what I should wear to Oktoberfest this Saturday...

Monday, September 27, 2010

Spaced Out Meme

1) What was your first conscious thought this morning? Why was I dreaming about boarding school?

2) Discuss a book that left you disappointed. A gender identity non-fiction piece, too cerebral for me.

3) Do you ever talk to telemarketers, or do you just hang up on them? Hang up!

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "LEAPING LIZARDS!"

Friday, September 24, 2010

Skinny Minnie

Top Model is back, bitches! Sorry it took so long to put up this post but I was freakin' tired on Wednesday.

We have 14 hamsters are vieing to become obsolete. Seriously, what does this show do other than feed Tyra(nt) Banks' giant ego and booty?

For the challenge, the model wannabes had to walk on a runway....suspended in the air. And they have to do their own hair and makeup. Oh Tyra, just admit it, you want to those skinny young bitches to die. But at least it's a real runway show, Diane Von Furstenberg, dontcha know? Wrap yr wrap dresses around my soul! No winner chosen, just a forced death march.

For the photo shoot, the hamsters posed in bikinis and a hateful word written on them and a their power word to counter-act the bully taunt. And winning photo of the week went to TALL Ann, she's over 6 ft tall. She quirky but I likes her and she's fucking hilarious. Ann told some of the hamsters that her ideal man is a 60 year old bearded warlock that can make sushi. LOVE! Ann has gone from "giant" to "Amazon". I also like Kayla, the cute lesbian, "queer/free". And Rhianna the hippie "stupid/undefinable", she kind of looks like Liz Phair, so obviously I love her. And packing it up was Anamaria w/ her stank ass attitude and her anorexia. She weighs 110 lbs! On purpose!

Make overs next week!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Happy Place Thunk

The TT questions are brought to you by Bud, the color ofKimber's hair (where did she go?) and the number333.

1. We are changing your name. You have no choice. You get to pick it, but we must approve it. You must have a good reason. Ok, what is the name and reason? Lily because Susan is derived from both Latin & Hebrew words meaning "lily"

2. I say Shotgun, you say? Wedding

3. We are sending you away. Africa or Mexico? Mexico!! All the way, I lived there for 3 months when I was in college. Great food, great drinks, cheap way to live.

4. When you're home alone, do you still close the door when you use the restroom? Not always. Don't you judge me!

5. Berleen told me that I have to ask a mean question. Tell us about a horrible memory. I'm not answering this question. I mire too much in the horrible as it is.

6. What are your plans for October? Octoberfest @ Wolff's, going to South Hadley/Northampton for Columbus Day weekend, giant sized margarita for my birthday, dressing up as a spaghetti western for Halloween. I love October!!!

7. Is there anyone that you regret ever meeting ? Sure but I don't waste my time too much thinking about them

8. You have 3 months left to live, what do you do? Travel down to someplace tropical, sit on the beach and drink, have lots of public sex

9. You wake up in an unfamiliar place, what is your first reaction? "Was I roofied?"

10. Your phone rings at 4am, just before you kill this person, who do you expect it would be? My mother w/ an emergency

11. You're having a bad day, what one thing can make your day better? A happy song & belly kisses

12. You are doing a meme written by the blogosphere's shadiest character. Is there anything else that you should be doing right now? My nail polish is looking pretty raggedy....

13. If money were not a problem, (and it never is, right? Yes, I stole this f$%*ing question. Sue me.) where would you like to live? A wooded cabin on the lake

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Better than Chocolate?

To tide me over, the creators of Top Chef had a new show premiere last week, Top Chef: Just Desserts. That's right, a competition between pastry chefs & the head judge is the major tasty treat, Johnny Iuzzini. Dang, I'd like to smother him in ganache! I have a serious thing for guys working the rock-a-billy look.

For the Quickfire, the cheftestants had to create their signature dessert dish. Oh wait! You didn't think it would be that easy, did you? About 20 minutes into the challenge, Gail (hey girl, yr time to shine and get out of Padma's shadow!) announced that said dessert had to be transformed into a cupcake. OUCHIE! The losers were Tim's non-cupcake semifreddo (a frozen custard nom nom), Malika's invisible dessert (she was a big ol' mess and couldn't get anything together) & Zac's marshmallow disaster. So technically, since Zac is the only dumb ass that actually made a cupcake that makes him the biggest loser. Duking it out for best cupcake were Heather (my personal fave!) and her luscious carrot cake cupcake w/ fried carrots, TASTY CAKE, & smarmy annoying Seth that used to work for the awesome Season One winner of Top Chef, Harold Dieterle. He made some sweet and savory blechyness. Guess it doesn't what I think 'cause he won. And he got immunity to boot. Bastard!

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants had to make a luscious chocolate dessert for world renowned pastry chef Jacques Torres AKA Mr. Chocolate. Wow, people, kill me now! This show is too dang good! And the winner was my girl Heather and her dark chocolate mousse w/ grand marnier. Oh yeah! Gimme some of that! And packing it up was Tania and her gritty mousse.

Just Desserts is a nice cleansing refreshing for my Top Chef palette. Go Heather!


Well, the winner of Top Chef was revealed last week.

I call some serious shenanigans as Kevin was named the winner.


This is the worst ruling since season 2 when that fucking hack Ilan Hall was crowned Prince of Top Chef-dom.

Next year's season better fucking knock my damn socks off!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Rutty Rutterson

Holy crap, y'all! I've been trying to write this post for a solid 20 minutes. Stop and start. Crap crap crap. Fuck! I'm a hack!

The truth is I'm already freaking out about my impending nuptials. The latest is my mother is being all pouty and upset because my future mother-in-law is coming along w/ us to go dress shopping. Back me up, guys. It's proper etiquette to have her at the bridal shop, right?

Now my car is leaking oil and I don't have the time or money to fix it until Columbus Day weekend.

Speaking of money, I'm never gonna pay off my credit card.

GRR! ARGH! Meh..

Monday, September 20, 2010

Monday Meme

1) Share one thing that you learned recently. A friend of SB's said I was beautiful

2) Share a quote that applies to your life right now, one that is helpful, or that is stuck in your head for some reason, or one that motivates you. "Though under earth and throneless now I be, Yet, while I lived, all Earth was under me."

3) What is your favorite card game? Uno or War

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "Ugh looks like my Grandma's apartment!"

Tag Meme

So, Ace decided to tag me in this meme. Maybe it'll give my brain an enema.

Welcome back to Monday Mayhem.
Today's meme is called 5 on 5.
For each of the 5 questions give 5 answers. Easy right?
So, have fun with it and don't forget to comment the others.

Join Us for Monday Mayhem

1. What are 5 things that you hope to accomplish this week?
a. Work out everyday this week
b. Have a solid idea of the kind of wedding dress I want to try on by Saturday
c. Do a writing exercise at least 3 nights this week
d. Abstain from any candy from the work vending machine
e. Figure out how to be less passive in my life

2. Name 5 reasons to sleep in.
a. The alarm never went off
b. I'm sick
c. I want to
d. Snow storm
e. SB wants nookie

3. Name 5 of the 'interesting' things you've heard lately.
a. Margaret Cho has a "new" DVD out
b. Pavement got back together
c. It's impossible to download a copy of the 1983 TV movie "The Witches and the Grinygog"
d. Blossom Deary, a GREAT jazz singer from the 1950's, sang on a few songs for "School House Rock"
e. Boston Creme Pie is actually a cake

4. Name and link to 5 bloggers.
I'm not doing this, play this meme if you want.

5. What are the 5 items that are always on your grocery list.
a. fruit
b. milk
c. yogurt
d. cukes
e. seltzer

Thanks for playing!
See you next week!

Sunday, September 19, 2010


Lately, I've been questioning my abilities as a writer. I've sat down in front of the lap top this weekend and I started and stopped a million times. I tried a different tack and decided to write the scene I saw in my head, that worked for my story that got published. CRAP, UTTER DRECK! I can't make it work and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I have it all inside, I think, but it's stuck.

I feel like giving up....

Friday, September 17, 2010

A Tale of Two Thais

If you recall this post , I was expounding on the virtues of Bangkok Bistro & Martini Bar in Sch'dy. I've never been disappointed by any of the meals I've had there....ever. Good size portions, great bartenders & SB can eat sushi up until 3 am (though sometimes w/ disastrous results!).

My oldest brother recently turned 41 & at his request, had the entire family get together for Thai food. We went to Blue Spice Thai in what was formerly Garcia's next to HoJo's in Colonie. Let's compare and contrast.

Decor goes to Blue Spice. Bangkok was a German Brahaus 40 years ago & it has never been updated. Blue Spice is light and bright and has this really awesome section of tables where you sit on long cushions and you have to take off yr shoes.

Service goes to Bangkok. We asked for chopsticks 20 times....they never came. And the entrees did not come out all at the same time which does not normally bother me but there was a long lapse and other peoples' meals started getting cold. I've never had this problem at Bangkok.

Food is a complete draw! The food is excellent in both places. I was going to have the basil curry again just to see if there was any difference but Blue Spice makes theirs w/ mushrooms & tempura eggplant. Blech blech!

I give Blue Spice a big thumbs up but I prefer Bangkok. The choice is yrs.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Speedy Thunk

The TT questions are brought to you by Berleen, the color of my kitchen table and the number 45.

10. What number blog post is this for you? I don't remember, nearly 200 I think.

9. You are driving down a road and your GPS says turn right, but the road has a Dead End sign. You check your GPS and according to it's map, there is a road at
the end of the Dead End road that you need to turn onto. Do you follow the GPS? No, machines think too much for me already.

8. If you had a $2 bill, would you spend it? Yes, get rid of it immediately! Bad luck!

7. When there is nobody else around and you sneeze or cough, do you cover your mouth? 99.9% of the time

6. You are a DJ at a radio station and your
first guest is Bud... what is the first question you are going to ask him? "What's yr song request?" I don't do talk radio, all music all the time.

5. Have you ever stopped to help a stranger with a flat tire? No, I would do more harm than good.

4. You get on an airplane and you find that your seat neighbor is Kimber... what do you talk about or do you ignore her completely? Exchange pleasantries & occasionally make sarcastic remarks to each other.

3. Have you ever rode an elephant? YES! When I was 5 at the Catskill Game Farm. My cousin was so jealous that I got to be up front.

2. Time to bitch & moan! What is your biggest complaint about your current friends on Facebook? I don't get enough compliments.

1. School is back in session for all little girls and boys now. What, in your life, changes when kids go back to school? Dang school buses are always in the way when I'm late!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

No Girls Allowed

Well, folks, we are in the home stretch of this season's Top Chef.

The final four are in Singapore, hmm spicy spicy!

The cheftestants were being shown around an open air street food market w/ this really cool food expert named Seetoh. Lots of tasting, nibbling, watching the street vendors cook in their faces. And I as predicted, for the Quickfire, the cheftestants had to replicate a Singapore street food dish. It was freakin' intense, Ed & Kevin were sweating all over the place, none of the ingredients were labeled. Woo whee! And then Padma got all up on Kevin's grill for admitting he's never used a wok before. Holy fuckos, I've never seen Padma get so worked up before! I gotta say, I think that's total bullshit. Kevin's worked in the restaurant business for a long time, I find it hard to believe he's never had Wok 101. Anyways, Ed won the Quickfire w/ his stir fry noodles and lobster. Ed now has an automatic "in" to the finale.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants had to cater a party for 80 people and cook their Sinapore style dishes "a la minute". Ed decides to make 2 dishes but kept that to himself. Then Colicchio started flipping out, all bug eyed and crazy "1 DISH PER CHEF! WHY?!" More scrambling around, except for Ed. Ed and his fritters and sweet n' sour pork won. Hmm. And packing it up was Kelly. I'm surprised! She's a much better chef than Kevin. Top Chef is sexist! You heard it here first.

Out of the final 3 cheftestants, I am reluctantly rooting for Ed.

The end is next week but also the beginning of my Top Chef: Just Desserts & also Top Model. Food and fashion! My 2 fave things!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Stupid Blogger!

1) When was the last time you stepped on something that really hurt? I honestly don't remember. I step on hurty stuff all the time.

2) What is the most unusual food you have tried for the first time recently? Daikon but I think that was last year. Is daikon unusual?

3) Describe the one who got away. Oh boy! His name was Josh, we were 19 and he was very funny and interesting and very very opinionated. I decided I would rather be w/ a go no where junkie.

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Nom de Plume

For those of you not in the know, I chose my blogger name because I'm a HUGE HUGE HUGE fan of Liz Phair. If you've never heard her music before, please, in the name of all that is good and holy, go listen to her. She rarely disappoints.

Liz's 1st three CD's, "Exile in Guyville", "Whip-Smart" and "Juvenilia", came out on the great and mighty independent label Matador Records. The sound was stripped down, raw, she swore a lot, and at the risk of sounding like a music critic cliche, the lyrics were confessional style. Liz was the cool indie queen of Chicago.

Then there was a long 3 year period before I could purchase "whitechocolatespaceegg" in 1998. This time around Liz had gone to Capital Records, the big boys. I could tell there was some subtle changes to this record but it was still Liz and she was still an amazing song writer.

Then Liz went all quiet until 2003 when she released her self titled album, though she not so secretly refers to it as the "Liz Phair: Back Slash". This was my least favourite album, too polished, too slick and too many other song writers collaborating w/ Liz. There are some tracks on the CD that I absolutely refuse to listen to, very sad. But it was during this time I got a chance to see Liz live for the 1st time. And funnily enough, she didn't perform too many songs off of "Back Slash". She was stellar, out of this world live. Liz came out in this tiny black negligee and this big old guitar and blew me away!

Then I fell back in love w/ "Somebody's Miracle". A quiet, mostly acoustic CD. It was adult, witty and a wee bit somber. Unfortunately, because of poor sales, Liz was dropped by her record label.

The other day I was tooling around on Wikipedia, it's pretty scary to get stuck in wiki-hole, and found Liz had released her latest album in July of this year on her website. "Funstyle" is a return of her wry, snarky, indie sound. Point of fact, it reminds me of Beck. Check it out, everyone loves free downloads.

I'll leave you w/ some words "And that's what this game is all about..."

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Musings of a Thunk Master

The TT questions are brought to you by Bud, the color of Meg Ryan's Blouse and the number 33.

1. From whom did you get your last e-mail? A personal e-mail and not random notifications from Amazon? Just a Girl.

2. What is the most recent movie that you have seen in a theater? Inception and it was AWESOME

3. Have you ever seen a ghost? No but I do scare easily.

4. Ever loved someone so much it made you cry? YES!!!

5. What are you most afraid of? Being a failure

6. What do you do when you are bored? Eat, sadly :(

7. Other than the author of this mess of a meme, whose blog are you most curious to see their answers? My own because I'm such a fucking egomaniac.

8. Name three thing from your bucket list. 3 things I want to do before I die? Travel to New Zealand, buy a Mini Cooper & get SCUBA certified

9. Who was the last person who complimented you on how you looked, that actually was a surprise? Sean

10. Do you remember Berleen? I remember vaguely she used to write this meme. I wish she would come back.

11. What was the last concert that you attended where the band was much better than you imagined? Mastadon

12. What’s the next band you’re either planning to see or want to? I'm going to NYC to see Slash, woo hoo!!

13. What were the last things do you imagine that Kimber threw off the roof? Her kids' report cards

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Tang & Dippin' Dots

Top Chef recap time, my lovelies!

Angelo continues to skeeve me out totally. So, homeboy got divorced last year & is already engaged to another woman who lives in Russia. Anybody else thinking mail order bride?

Anyways, for the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants had to create a dish and pair it w/ a wine of their choosing. And on the bottom were Kevin's monstrosity of quail and Merlot. Originally, Kev was going to braise a pork belly to go w/ the Merlot but SHOCKINGLY he did not have enough time to finish it. And by the by, what's up w/ the pork belly this season. Pork belly is this season's scallop.....or foam. Speaking of which, Kelly sucked and made a crappy bleu cheese foam. EEWWWW!!! Stop w/ the foams! Icky icky icky! It looks like baby spit up. And winning the Quickfire and a trip to jolly old London was Angelo's white wine and foie gras. Can't go wrong w/ goose liver. Hey, Angelo, London is closer to where you live now. Maybe yr pseudo girlfriend can meet you there?

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants had to create a meal that could be freeze dried and sent into space. And looky look, there's Buzz Aldrin..... & Tony Bourdain. I love love love The Bourdain. He was surprisingly less snarky this time 'round. The big winner was Angelo. Oh c'mon! He made sugary short ribs! And the NASA liaison specifically said not to make dishes that had too much sugar. Shenanigans! And packing it up was Tiffany. Say what now? I'm not a big Tiff fan but I thought for sure that Kevin was going to get the chop.

Next week: Sing-a-bloody-por! In case you don't get this reference, please do yrself a favour and watch the awesome film "Wish you were here".

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Labour Intensive

Man, oh man, do I loves me some 3 day weekends!

This year, instead of going away, my dear dear close friends (& their 3 y/o!) came to visit us and our "new" house.

It's fun to entertain a 3 y/o, we spent most of the weekend at the neighborhood playground.

The above pic is my friend, not me., FYI.
SexyBeast is King of the World! I too also made it down and over the twisty rock wall o' doom. I had a panic attack and almost didn't make it! Believe, even though this is an elementary school playground, that shit was hard to finish. This got me thinking, SB and I are going to hit up our local rock climbing wall facility.

We also had some kick ass Thai food. I like mine spicy spicy spicy! And Bangkok Thai's green basil curry did not disappoint. I had a Dirty Girl Scout and my friend had a Bikini-tini.

We also hit up the Schenectady Farmer's Market. It's tiny but it's great & I think the prices can't be beat. If you live the upstate NY area, do yrself a favour and pick a container of gluten free non-dairy potato dip by Zorba's Natural Foods. I got the horseradish and dill flavour. HOLY WOW!!! So freakin' good!

I leave you all to ponder this:

Monday, September 6, 2010

Labour Day Meme

1) What kind of chocolate is your favorite: white, milk, semi-sweet, bittersweet? Milk chocolate, always and forever

2) Start the first chapter of your memoir. "Though she preferred books to people, Susan Bernardi was not a curmudgeon." Heh, that was fun!

3) When was the last time you flashed someone the peace sign? That's one of my drunk picture poses. I did it at a wine party in April.

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "Finger paints!"

Thursday, September 2, 2010

100 Thunks

Congratulations to
at once a week...a great milestone

Welcome to the September 2nd edition of
Thursday Thunks!
(which we always seem to post on Wednesday)
Where we make you think a little bit before you blog!
We pick a subject, and your job is to interpret it anyway you want.
Write about it on your blog... simple as that.
Maybe you can interpret it as a picture - we don't care!

Please only leave a link if you have written a Thursday Thunks post.
Don't forget to go visit the other
participants' blogs.
Read and comment about all their Thursday Thunks responses!
That's what all this is about after all, isn't it?
We'll have so much fun and become lifelong friends....

The TT questions are brought to you by Bud, the color of my neighbor's wife's eyes and the number 33,333.

1. Would you rather have a pet hippo or a pet elephant? Neither! But if I had a gun pointed to my head, I'd go w/ hippo because it would be easier to install a pool than an elephant sanctuary.

2. Why do you think bananas are shaped the way they are? I don't know, let's blame a man.

3. In one word (OK, you can go three to four MAX) , what do most people describe you as? Cute, funny, intense

4. Choice (stupid but a choice…): Loss of vision, ability to speak or hearing - which do you choose? (you have to choose one....) It's like a law. But we can't make you. Vision! I love music and singing too much to give that up

5. Do you like lemons? Do you use them to clean with or just as a food source? Or are you saving them up for 2012? I love lemons, very tasty.

6. When you are feeling icky with that sickness feeling, what is your first choice for feel-better medicine? Nyquil, I like to be completely drugged out when I feel like shit.

7. You are starving. You have not had anything to eat for days. In front of you is poison ivy, a live hissing cockroach, and a rotten stinky piece of some sort of mystery meat to eat. Which would you pick and why? Cockroach because poison ivy and rotten meat would kill me. I'd rather be grossed out than dead.

8. Who was the last person you bought a present for? What was it? Will you buy Berleen one? I got my niece a birthday present (she'll be 5 on Sept. 6). I found it at BJ's, an American Girl pet, a golden retriever. Those suckers cost $25 and up & I got mine for $14.

9. Name 3 things you want your kids to learn before they grow up. (If you don't have kids, feel free to explain to the other players why you chose the “no kids“ choice. Yea. I know. (Those who have children will NEVER get it. And no, don‘t explain it…) I don't have kids, I don't want to have kids. SB and I like our lives the way they are and kids will change that forever. I'm really fucking selfish basically.

10. What was your favorite toy as a child? What happened to it? A 3 way tie between my Sit N' Spin, my green Bouncy Bounce & my dollies that had pop on clothes. I think they were called Pop-Its or Click-Its. Let me know if you remember.

11. If you could paint your house ANY color you wanted and your friends, family & neighbors would love the color from the moment they saw it, what would it be? A deep eggplant purple.

12. If the Pillsbury Dough Boy got into a fight with Mrs. Butterworth who would win? And would anybody get hurt? And do we seem desperate even asking? Mrs. Butterworth would kick his sorry ass, she'd shove him an oven and bake him!

13. What was the last thing you would guess that Kimber took a picture of? Oh. And consider the meme listed below. Click on it. It rocks. I don't care, no offense.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Peanuts, Cracker Jack & Tuna Tartar

Another really great epi from Top Chef!

And another Top Chef Masters Alum is w/ Padma in the Quickfire kitchen, Mr. Rick Moonen.

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants had to select a food idiom and then base a dish around it. What fun! I would have chosen "Hide the salami" myself, I always win at that game. And the winning dish will be a featured item on the Schwann's menu. And sucking hard core were Amanda's "big cheese" of mac n' cheese w/ jalapenos & a pork chop. Ha! Moonen said it was like "a sledge hammer to his gut!" In theory, that sounds delish but it sounds like the pork w/ the cheese was too heavy. And also Kelly's "sour grapes" of chicken breast, Brussel sprouts and a red grape sauce. The flavours did not harmonize. I gotta be honest, grape sauce does not sound appealing. And the big wiener was Ed's "hot potato" of gnocchi and spring veggies. NOM NOM NOM! But I still dislike Ed!

The Elimination Challenge was a bit annoying because they had to work as a team but were going to be doing their own separate dishes. Harumph! What's the point? Anyway.....the cheftestants had to create an upscale ball park dish & they had to cook at the ball park (the place where the Washington Senators play). And going for the double win of Quickfire and Elimination was Ed. BOO! He made corn and risotto fritters. Not a huge fritter fan, something about the texture of fried corn. Blech! And packing it up was Amanda. About time! She was waaaayyy out of her league. Who decides to make tuna tartar at a baseball park? Bad choice! Plus, her tuna had oxidized before she had a chance to serve it.

Top Chef is winding down but, never fear, I will be recapping "Top Chef: Just Desserts.