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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Pat my Back

Even though, I have wicked PMS, I fucking kicked ass at boot camp today. I had to run for 3 minutes after completing 20 minute circuit course. I did not run quickly but I did not stop.

Erp....I have nothing more to say. Feeling kind of blocked.

Ideas? Seriously, I'll blog about anything.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Pre-Menstrual Meme

1) Thunderstorm arrives, power outage! How do you occupy your time? Candle, book....possibly nookie

2) Explain why you enjoy one of your hobbies. What do you get out of it? I love spending time cooking in my kitchen. I think it's the fact I that take on a task, complete it & it comes to fruition before my eyes.

3) Have you planned your funeral? Cremation, memorial service & "Anywhere I Lay my Head" by Tom Waits

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Just Desserts

We have reached the end of Top Chef: Just Desserts. I bid you adieu, fluffy competitive reality television program. Top Chef All Stars starts next week.

Blah blah blah....create four mind blowing desserts. Danielle did all ice creams. Morgan had a colour theme. Gidget went for a more esoteric theme of dating specifically in relation to be on Top Chef.

Blah blah blah......self induced drama.....Gidget won.

Be back in two weeks w/ All Stars.

Red Heads Need Not Apply

Top Chef recap, bitches!

Jane is completely jealous of Kayla winning top photo twice in a row. Jane, you sucky middle of the packer, shut it!

For the challenge, the hamsters met w/ the editor-in-chief of Vogue Italia, she and ALT graded the hamsters on their inter-personal skills. Chelsey won, I don't know why. She's so fucking generic. Chelsey chose Kayla to share in her prize, the chicks got to have a private viewing of The Last Supper and posh private accommodations at a luxury hotel.

I preferred Ann's anime rendition of The Last Supper. Love her!

For the photo challenge, the hamsters were directed by Tyr(ant) in a weird perfume type video. It was really....bizarre. They dressed like couture whores and wandered around in a mansion. I wouldn't have been surprised if a midget dressed in black popped out w/ a bottle of Obsession. And, KABLAMO, two hamsters were sent a-packin'. Ann had best "photo" of the week, leaving Chelsey, Kayla and Jane to squirm under the pressure. Chelsey is going to the finals, ousting Kayla and Jane. Kayla got robbed!!!!

Kick some ass, Ann!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Falling Apart

My doctor called me last week, "I got the results back from yr fasting lipid profile. I'm putting you on cholesterol meds." I begged, pleaded and pouted. So, unless I lose 15 - 20 lbs in a week, . I have to take the med. I fucking hate being on medication. I'm only 35 fucking years old!!! The shittest part is once you start the med, you cannot stop. I'm going to be on fucking Tricor for the rest of my miserable life.

The major side effect is muscle tenderness. This couldn't come at a worse time as I just restarted boot camp. So I can't tell where my aches and pains are coming from.

And, FYI, I've been battling my bad fatty blood for over 5 years now w/ diet and exercise. Just another perk to having polycystic ovarian syndrome.

I'm blue :-(

Monday, November 22, 2010

Oh Lord, Please Don't Let me Sink into the Abyss

1) What are you looking forward to this week? This month? Thanksgiving...OBVIOUSLY!

2) What family or cultural tradition would you like to see die off permanently? Easter guilt

3) Write a 200-word story as fast you possibly can.

Once upon a time, there was a very sad girl that kept people at arm's length. A junkie broke her heart. She played w/ hearts. She got fat. She cried alot. She got thin. She cried alot.

"I think I'm made of glass.
I think I'm made of glass.
I think I'm made of glass.
I think I'm made of glass.
I think I'm made of glass.
I think I'm made of glass."

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Crappy Anniversary

Sorry I'm so late w/ the Top Chef: Just Desserts recap!

OMG Monsieur Payard is the guest judge! I'd walk over hot coals for one of his chocolate cakes.

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants had to make 4 pieces of chocolate that represent different parts of their lives. And what the hell?! Morgan was crying as he presented his chocolates. Ugh! These cheftestants are wearing me out w/ their tears! Gidget only had 3 chocolates, lame. Zac was too sweet. And Morgan wins another Elimination Challenge.

Then there was lots of grumbling about how Morgan never shows emotion over anything. Well, at least he doesn't have a weird rubber face, Danielle! Seriously, she looks like Shelly Duval had a stroke.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants had to make an anniversary cake for cake guru Sylvia Weinstock (she was the guest judge from the Quickfire wedding cake challenge) & her adorable husband Ben for their 61st wedding anniversary. Aww! Then we get a little background on how they met and their wedding. Precious! And the big weiner was Danielle...but but but her cake was fucking grey. GREY!

Then, holy crap, Zac was bitching at Judges' Table about Morgan's demeanor. Really? Is that the place for that? What the fuck difference does his grouchiness make to his desserts? Heh heh "Suck it, Zac." sayeth Morgan.

And Zac is gonna suck it all the way home.

Finale, next week.

The Thunk is Back!

The TT questions are brought to you by Berleen, the color of snowand the number that comes after 393.

Turn the TV on and open the newspaper.... whats the best reported news you've ever heard? Bloggers are the best restaurant critics.

Hey! Guess what? Whats the best personal news someone has told you? Leslie had her baby

Goshdarnit I'm tired... When you lay down to sleep at night, whats the best position for you to fall asleep in? On my left side w/ Sexybeast all spooned up against me.

What the most excited you've ever been? Recently, I asked to take part in a big project for work.

Ever touched a turkey? And yeah, I mean the gobble gobble kind. I'm glad I re-read this or this could have been a stupid question. Have you ever touched a living, breathing, not on your plate turkey? NO!

Its everywhere, it's driving me crazy! Spend money, people, spend money! Have you boughten anything from the "new & early" Black Friday deals this year? The Harry Potter XBox game which should be arriving this evening. SB is away all weekend....MUHAHAHAHA!

So the news is out, the most best news ever in the history of news - Kimber & Berleen are finally going to meet! Kimber is flying to Minnesota. What should she bring with her? A cactus

Kimber thinks all Minnesotans eat lutefisk. It's a Scandinavian food and lucky for her, we're German. Maybe it's Norwegian. Heck I don't know - you ever ate the stuff? Hold on....I think I'm going to puke.

Whats in your right pocket right now? I ain't got no pockets in my purty skirt

When you go to the dentist for your cleaning, do you use the toothbrush that they give you or do you use one that you have purchased yourself? Oh no use the free toothbrushes. Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Top Model recap, bitches!

The hamsters are in Milan & it's time for "go sees". They had 4 destinations to get to and had to return back to IMG Modeling Agency by 5:30. None of these dumbasses were able to navigate the city to get everywhere they needed to be...none of them. A first in Top Model history. Chelsey won the challenge by default because Ann, who actually booked the job w/ Versace, was late getting back to IMG. And Chris twisted her ankle while she was walking to get gelatto (instead of doing the challenge).

For the photo shoot, the hamsters were glopped up w/ clay like paint and made to look like statues. And yet again, they had to pose w/ a male model. Kayla, the lesbian, is finally easing up around the dudes. And she won best photo of the week as well. Ann needs to emote more. And packing it up was Chris and her lack of motivation.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Gloomy Monday Meme

1) When was the last time you gave yourself a pat on the back? A few weeks ago after I lost a fat roll

2) In public restrooms, do you hover or sit? HOVER, unless I'm drunk.

3) If you could take back something you did to someone, what would it be? Maybe not have been so careless w/ boys' hearts

Sunday, November 14, 2010


Both SB & myself had Veteran's Day off & I decided we needed to go on Wednesday night. This coincided w/ the grand opening of Dinosaur BBQ in Troy. We met up w/ Albany Jane to enjoy some good grub.

It was so crowded that we had to make own parking space. In yr face establishment!

Upon entering Dinosaur, you get smacked in the face w/ the smell of smoke. It's incredibly awesome.

There is a mighty fine selection of beer.

I had the chicken (BIG thumbs up!) and it came w/ 2 sides. I chose the greens, which were very acidic almost like a sauerkraut, & mashed sweet potatoes. But they brought me cole slaw, (HATE HATE HATE) & unfortunately, they ran out of the sweet potatoes. So I substituted baked beans, holy crap, they were spicy & had bits of pulled pork in it. SB wanted brisket and pulled pork & Albany Jane ordered the sausage and pulled pork. Oops! No more more brisket. They both had ribs.

The service was great and the waitress was incredibly apologetic for having to refuse our requests.

I'll be back.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Sloth Friday

I couldn't make up my mind about what to post.

Here's a meme, hope you enjoy!

1. Last beverage: Raspberry Lime Seltzer

2. Last phone call: My mother

3. Last text message: Sexybeast

4. Last song you listened to: "Goin' Down" by The Monkees

5. Last time you cried: Yesterday morning


6. Got back with someone you've broken up with: Nope

7. Been cheated on: Yes, what I fool I was!

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Never, regrets are a waste of time

9. Lost someone special: Yes.

10. Been depressed: After college, I didn't leave my apartment for a year

11. Been drunk and threw up: This has happened to me only recently. I blame it on my lack of gall bladder


12. Green

13. Blue

14. Black


15. Made a new friend: Pretty sure I have

16. Fallen out of love: Nope

17. Laughed until you cried: Lots of times

18. Met someone who changed you: A client

19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes.

20. Found out someone was talking about you: No and if someone has done that, they can fuck off

21. Kissed anyone on your Facebook friend's list: Yup

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Nearly all of them

24. Do you have any pets?: My fluffy kitty, Squeaky

25. Do you want to change your name: Yes, I will change my last name when I get married

26. What did you do for your last birthday? Free gigantic margarita @ Bomber's w/ friends and SB

28. What were you doing at midnight last night?: Sleeping

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Geek game night tomorrow

30. Last time you saw your mother: Wednesday

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I need more money

32. What are you listening to right now: The L Word, had the iPod on during my evening commute set to shuffle

33. Have you ever talked to a person named the same as you: Yup

34. Who is getting on your nerves now? Nobodyl

35. Most visited webpage: Facebook or Television w/out Pity

36.What's your real name: Susan Marie Bernardi

37. Nicknames: Freckles, Su-Su, Zuzan

38. Relationship Status: happily taken, soon to be married

39. Zodiac sign: Libra

40. Male or female?: female

41. Primary School?: St. Paul's

42. Secondary School?: St. Paul's

43. High school/college?:Schenectady High School --- HVCC --- SUNY New Paltz --- CSC --- Granite State

44. Hair color: red w/ blonde highlights, soon to be changed after I get my hair did tomorrow

45. Tall or short: shorty

46. Height: 5'1"

47. Do you have a crush on someone?: Nope

48: What do you like about yourself?: My freckles

49. Piercings: just my ear lobes

50: Tattoos: One on my foot of lily of the valley...planning my second soon


52. First surgery: Wisdom teeth after I graduated college, 1998

53. First piercing: When I was in 1st grade

54. First best friend: Heather

55. First sport you joined: cheerleading in 8th grade

56. First vacation: camping in Martha's Vineyard

57. First pair of trainers: 3 I think


58. Eating: I just finished Late July dark chocolate cookies

59. Drinking: seltzer

60. I'm about to: have some dinner

61. Listening to: The L Word

62. Waiting for: SB to come home tomorrow

63. I'm feeling: lazy


64. Want kids?: NO

65. Get married?: YES

66. Career: supervisory position in non-profit


67. Lips or eyes: eyes

68. Hugs or kisses: both

69. Shorter or taller: Taller

70. Older or Younger: Older

71. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: tummy

73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship


75. Kissed a stranger: Yes ;-)

76. Drank hard Liquor: yes

77. Lost glasses/contacts: Lost lots of contacts down the drain, I wear my glasses full time now

78. Sex on first date: Never

79. Broken someone's heart: Possibly

80. Been arrested: Nope

81. Turned someone down: Yup

82. Cried when someone died: Yes..

83. Fallen for a friend: Total cliche but yes


84. Yourself: Not enough

85. Love at first sight: Attraction yes, love no

86. Heaven: Yes

87. Santa Claus: No

88. Kiss on the first date: Yes! Though SB and I did not

89. Angels: Yes

90. God: Yes


91. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time?: I've dated a few people at the same time

92. Did you sing today?: Always!

93. Did something illegal?: Yes

94. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: 13, I'd smack some sense into myself

95. The moment you would choose to relive?: My first date w/ SB

96. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Nope

97. When was the last time you lied?: ? I dont' remember

98. Are you usually late, early or right on time?: Early-ish

99. Would you give your life to save someone else's?: Depends on the circumstances

100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths: Nope

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Tea for Two

Sugar time Top Chef recap!

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants had to create edible bouquets. Danielle forgot to decorate the backs of her flowers, Zac made a big sloppy mess, Eric was just plain blech. Morgan made a beautiful professional design. Hurray, Morgan won!

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants had to make desserts for a tea party. The desserts had to be a pair ala a famous Hollywood couple. But ALAS no chocolate of any kind could be used. Zac's Capn' Crunch thingie (Julie Andrews) w/ a Pink Panther pavlova (Blake Edwards) won. It was cute & sweet & I heartily approved of any dessert made w/ cereal. And packing it up was Eric's duo of short breads representing Oprah and Stedman.

Bye bye, baker!

Hamster Over Board

Top Model recap time, y'all!

And SURPRISE, the hamsters are going to Venice, Italy! A bird shat on Liz. Jane was annoying.

For the photo shoot, the hamsters were divided into two groups of three w/ a male model in gondola. Kayla, Liz & Chris went first. Liz was sweating and bitching. Chris was a hootchie. Kayla kicked ass! Second group was Chelsey, Ann & Jane. Ann couldn't get comfortable in teeny tiny gondola. Jane was boring. Chelsey whatever.

Then the hamsters hopped of to Milan. Unless yr Liz and you think Tyr(ant) said "Mulan". What? Mulan is not a place, it's a cartoon. Yr hopeless, Liz!

Oh coolness, the hamsters went to the House of Missoni. The hamsters were swathed in couture knits. Poor Ann wore a floor length poncho.

Kayla won best photo! In yo' straight bitches faces! Chelsey looked like she swallowed a big cup of envy. And packing it up was bitchy pants Liz.

Ugh, good riddance!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Gustar o No Gustar?

For months, I have been going back n' forth over which fast food Tex-Mex I like better, Chipotle or Moe's.

Both use fresh, tasty ingredients. Both will customize yr order. I do give Moe's a slight advantage because they have cilantro.

However, I was at a training today w/ catered taco bar from Moe's. I prefer hard tacos because white flour tortillas tend to get too chewy for me. I could have had a "salad" but those GIGANTIC taco shells are the devil. Anyways, I had one chicken taco w/ pico de gallo and one beef taco w/ mild salsa. The chicken had great flavour but it was dry. It might have happened en route to the training facility but I can't be certain. The real issue was the taco shell was dry and crumbly on my chicken taco and the salsa completely moistened and dissolved on my beef taco. I had to eat them w/ a fork!

I am now in love w/ Chipotle.

Monday, November 8, 2010

What you Say?

1) If you were stranded somewhere, what would be the hardest thing for you to do: start a fire, eat unfamiliar food, sleep on the ground without a tent, or not be clean? Start a fire, so I'd probably freeze to death, my hands clutching poisonous mushrooms, curled up on the cold hard ground filthy as a pig.

2) Describe the community you live in, as if it were the setting for a book. Typical suburban town in upstate New York.

3) When was the last time you fell asleep at work? One very warm day in September, my drooped for about 20 minutes. No one saw. The perfect crime!

Sunday, November 7, 2010


I'm sick. I hate being sick. I'm a big, whiny baby when I'm under the weather.

The floors in my house are covered in dirty tissues. Food has a dull flavour. My head is killing me.

When I was kid, I liked being sick. My mother would make me toaster strudel, I'd watch TV all day uninterrupted by my brothers, consume mass quantities of red Kool Aid & have a cache of comics and magazines at my disposal.

Being sick as a adult sucks donkey balls! Last night, SB made me a hot chocolate w/ vodka whipped cream. And I think it cured me.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Head to Head

Let's get our sweet tooth on w/ a Just Desserts recap, shall we?

Hurray hurray, relay race time! Yes yes, for the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants were broken into 2 teams of 3. Thankfully team Snot Bag (Zac, Gidget & Heather) were on one side and Team Slightly More Tolerable (Morgan, Danielle & Eric) on the other. Task #1: make tart crusts - Danielle whips past Gidget. Huh, who knew? Task #2: make 10 butter cream roses - Eric blows SMT's lead to Heather. Task #3: beat some eggs into a meringue and hold the bowl over yr head for 10 seconds - Morgan pulls SMT back to the lead. Task #4: stretch a strudel dough across the length of their work table. Here's an interesting tip: strudel dough doesn't stretch so nice. And unfortunately, Snot Bag won.

For the Elimination Challenge, the two teams went head to head w/ competing bakeries & had to include one bread item. And even though they had a corny name, SMT's bakery "Whisk me Away" won w/ their comfort baked goods. I'll tell ya, I'd stab someone in the eye to get a good chocolate chip cookie. And packing it up was Heather and her crappy dough.

Ding dong the witch is dead!

Roller Disco Barbie

Top Model recap, y'all!

For the Challenge, the hamsters had to walk in a Zac Posen show. Poor Zac Posen's receding hair line! There was a mix of professional models in the show & were instructed to "act" mean to the poor little hamsters. Ummmm.....yeah.....pretty sure that wasn't acting. But in the end Chelsey was the best w/ her composure and model strut thang. Meh, Chelsey is kinda cold and boring to me.

For the photo shoot, the hamsters had to act in a commercial. AAAAHHHH!!!! Fuck me! Models don't act, usually. Why oh why am I being tortured? Not only did they have to recite lines but they were on roller blades and had give a male model a BIG smoocheroo.

Poor Kayla had a freak out because it turns out she was sexually abused for an extended period time when she was kid. Yeah, there's nothing good about that at all. But she made it through the shoot OK.

And Ann kept, literally, falling on her butt. Heh heh! Now that's comedy.

Best performance went to Chris. She's kind of fun I guess but no where near my favourite. And packing it up was Esther and her gigantic boobs.

Whew! No more stupid acting episodes.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Hallow Weenie

Check me out as a "spaghetti Western" & SB as a the Man w/ no Name from "The Good, the Bad & the Ugly". I had a wig but it looked hideous.

We ended up a local bar & it was the first time in a long time we had to pay full price for everything. The people there were very douchy. I saw the Great Milenko. And the DJ played a charming little ditty called "All my Bitches Love Me". We so need to find a new watering hole.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Novemberary Meme

1) Do you believe the death penalty is justified and/or effective? Why or why not? I don't think it's a deterrent to crime but I don't know what the solution should be.

2) Does it sometimes make you paranoid when other people laugh? Occasionally but I've had people laugh at me in front of my it's justified.

3) How many birthdays and/or anniversaries of friends and family will be happening this month? The little red one & my middle bro-bro are having birthdays. Autumn is a hectic season for birthdays and anniversaries.