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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Blah Blah Blah

Well, I did it! After 8 weeks of both zumba & boot camp combined, I lost an inch everywhere! Even from my boobies!!! Plus I broke my own personal record of doing 38 sit ups in 2 minutes.

I think what worked so well for me this time is writing down every single thing that went down my gullet. And I learned a valuable lesson: put the fork down, porky!

Christmas was good, my butt looked good in my newish jeans.

I got some cute Betsy Johnson accessories, a new winter coat & a sexy new cardigan.

Size 10 is within my greedy grasp

Monday, December 27, 2010

Blizzard Meme!

1) Describe your dream home. Secluded, lots of trees and stream. Cozy, 2 bedrooms and a library w/ book shelves that go from floor to ceiling.

2) What one modern “necessity” would you be happy to do without? I've gone this far w/ no scanner

3) What one word do you overuse? Hee hee! That would be "AWESOME"

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Jingle Jangle

The TT questions are brought to you by Berleen, the color of the foot spray on the table and the num
ber 25.

C- What color/flavor candy cane should I put in your stocking? Cherry or lime or cherry lime

H- If Santa really comes down the chimney of people's houses and he busts out the bricks on the way down, do you think that is covered by his Christmas insurance? Santa is magic, he can put that shit back together in a millisecond

R- Did you know that rabbits eat their own poop to get the nutrients from the food that they didn't get from it the first time they ate it? Yes I did because I read the best book of all time "Oryx & Crake" by Margaret Atwood

I- Have you ever sucked on an icicle? No I have fellatiated an icicle

S- Do you think there is too much sex on TV? Dude, I love to watch "Rock of Love"! What do you think?

T- We're eating tacos. Taco sauce - hot, medium, mild or OMG my butthole is going to hurt tomorrow! ? HOT!

M- Are you sick of Christmas music yet? My radio station doesn't play Christmas music and if they did, I gots my iPod

A- Add up the number of windows in your house, subtract that number by the number of doors you have in your house, multiply that by the number of hallways you have in your house and then add the number of light switches. Whats your answer? 29

S- You build a snowman (yes you really do), what color hat do you have him wear? And now you are going to build a sand castle (yes, shut up, you do that too), does it have a moat? Brown, it's all moat

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Monkey Do, Monkey Don't

Top Chef recap, y'all!

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants are randomly split into 4 teams of 4 for a mise-en-place relay. However, instead of the winners receiving immunity, they will be a big chunk of money. Works for me! They must break down racks of lamb, clean & peel artichokes and mince garlic. Think large quantities, people.

Oh but wait, there's more! The first team to finish their prep has 15 minutes to create a dish w/ said ingredients. However, the longer it takes the other teams to finish, the less time they have to cook. You didn't think it would be that easy, did ya?

So, even though the cocky bastards on the green & red teams finished first, they're dishes sucked. The wieners of the big sack o' money was Blue Team consisting of Stephen, Tre, Blais & Spike w/ their lamp chop and artichoke 3 ways & aioli. Sexybeast has enough of the cheftestants doing "trios".

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants stayed in their groups & were assigned a famous NY restaurant, then cook head to head (to head to head) against their team mates to create a dish done in the style of the said restaurant.

Antonia, Angelo, Tre & Dale T. (Mr. Asshole!) all were top contenders. Out of this group I wanted Antonia's playful peas n' carrots to win. But alas, top honours went to Mr. Asshole's pork belly & "breakfast flavours" ramen. Grr! If he wins, I'm putting my foot through the TV. This week's suckers were Dale L., Fabio, Stephen & Tiffani (poop!). And it was a real nail biter! Oh did I forget to mention it was a double elimination this week? I thought Stephen & Fabio were going home & I was half right. Goodbye, Stephen! I'll miss yr beautifully starched shirts. And....Dale L. Say what?! The judges are definitely not fucking around w/ the cheftestants this season.

Stay tuned..

Monday, December 20, 2010

Ho Ho Ho Meme


1) If you could give someone who wasn’t going to get any presents for Christmas something of your own, what would you give them? Jewelry, I guess

2) Write a poem using only words that start with "s". Stop this mess
Stupid people
Shut yr hole
Sexy Sue to the rescue

3) Describe something you’re good at that surprises people, or yourself. I fucking rule in the kitchen! Oh and I'm incredibly bendy.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

That's What I Want

Money is the root of all evil. And fuck it I want to be deliciously EVIL! I'm either going to have to get a second job or a new better paying full time job. Neither prospect thrills me.

Anybody got a spare winning Lotto ticket?

Thursday, December 16, 2010


Sorry for my lateness w/ the Top Chef recap. Yesterday was SB's birthday and we went out for Mexican.

For the Quickfire, Joe Jonas, yes that Jonas that wears the purity ring and plays that bubblegum garbage, was the guest judge. The cheftestants had to make a portable kid's snack. Jamie grumbles about how much she hates children. Hmmmm, you know where that attitude will get ya, turkey lips?! The losers were Mike I (HA! HA!) because who wants to eat chocolate covered polenta, Tiffany's big crumbly mess & Stephan's unmarried flavours (Joe Jonas said that! Who knew?) And there's a twist of course! There was a tie between Tiffani's Snoball/whoopie pie & Spike's (blech!) carrot & potato chips w/ dip. Really? Blech! And they have to split into 2 teams to make all the snacks for kids at a museum. Tiff won, 'natch. Carrots vs. marshmallow, carrots don't stand a chance.

For the Elimination Challenge, the 2 teams had to cook breakfast for the kiddies and their parents the next morning. Since Tiff won the Quickfire, she had the choice of either making an entire breakfast w/ either just meat & dairy or just fruit & veg. She chose the carnivore foods but her team sucked. Spike's veggie heads won & Fabio got extra props for making gnocchi. I have many problems w/ this. #1 Fabio always makes pasta...ALWAYS. #2 I think it's a cop out to make gnocchi for breakfast...not a breakfast food.

While the losers stood in front of the judges, Jen defended her bland eggs and soggy pork belly bacon to the point where she was very belligerent to the judges. Practically screaming. It was uncomfortable. And Jamie cut her finger and needed 2 stitches.....2. And was not around for the majority of the day. She cooked nothing and yet she was not sent home. Good bye Crazy Pants Jen!

P.S. She remained composed for her exit interview but, boy, was she a-cussing & screeching off camera.

Better Late than Pregnant

The TT questions are brought to you by Bud, the color of an Mexican Umbrella Lady and thenumber 3693.

1. First, an easy one. In 25 words or less, what's your philosophy on life? Keep your heart open & always stand your ground.

2. Which country is your spiritual home? Why? Either Mexico or Scotland. I lived in Mexico for three months and it became the place where I felt completely comfortable in my own skin. Scotland I only visited briefly for one day but I had a weird thought that I just belonged there.

3. Tell us something about the oldest living member of your family. We mean as opposed to the oldest dead one. That would father & he laughs like a hen laying an egg.

4. Tell us something about the youngest member of your family. Miss KiKi, it makes me smile when she sings "Holly Jolly Christmas"

5. Now we’ll do random. Have you ever had a negative experience at a gym (with other patrons, equipment, trainer) or with the gym themselves? Nope...surprisingly enough

6. If you could go back and change one friendship in your past, who would it have been, and why? I would have invested more time into my friendship w/ Andie

7. If you could wish a wish and it be guaranteed to come true (and not to get more wishes), what would it be, and why? Get rid of my debt!!!

8. What were you doing 1 year ago? I was finishing up my last few weeks at Catholic Charities, anxiously awaiting my new position @ Equinox.

9. Time to belly up to the bar. What drink can I getcha? A Greyhound, vodka + grapefruit juice

10. What's the furthest you've traveled to visit (or vacation with, etc.) a friend? Across the country to from east coast to Seattle, WA

Monday, December 13, 2010

Use Yr Imagination

1) Describe a "Hah! I told you so" moment you had recently. Say what?! I don't do that....I'm mean in other ways.

2) When was the last time you visited a library? What for? I rented a couple movies for Thanksgiving weekend.

3) Have you ever called the police or rescue squad to rescue an animal? Yup and they didn't do jack shit. My disgusting neighbor has cats running all over the place.

Thursday, December 9, 2010


The TT questions are brought to you by Bud, the color of an African split-toed frog and thenumber 369.

1. Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21? If yes, how often? Yup a few times, not very often.

2. After Obama, who do you think will be the next president? Hilary!!!

3. Do you believe places can really be haunted? Nope, dead is dead

4. Kimber is flying to Minnesota to finally meet Berleen. What do you think about space travel? Fly me to the moon, let me play amongst the stars

5. What if had exactly one year to live. What are the three things you'd want to do before you died? Go SCUBA diving off the coast of Mexico, have sex in public, run a race.

6. What if you could take one thing back. What would that one thing be? What is something you said, something you stole, something you did wrong? No more drop kicking things across the room when I'm angry.

7. Other than emergencies, do you think the cell phone is more intrusive than convenient? No no no I love my cell phone, it can do no wrong.

8. You are stuck on an island forever due to a plane crash. Like
Lost without Hurley or anybody else.. But you find all the water, food and shelter you needed. What would be the three other things would you want with you? Books, music & movies

9. We've decided you can change one thing about the world. What would that one thing be? Do something concrete and permanent to resolve hunger in the U.S.

10.What if a million dollars fell off a back of a truck. Would you keep it? No way, my guilt would kill me.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


And we're back w/ Top Chef recaps. This time 'round we are treated to the ghosts of Top Chef cheftestants past.

Season 1: Tiffani, hated her 1st time around. She's overly aggressive and I suspected she was sabotaging other cheftestants. Time has mellowed me because I don't find nearly as irritating.
Stephan, the sommelier. Fancy dresser, very snotty. And I find myself oddly oddly attracted to him. Guess Sylvia Plath was right.
Season 2: Elia, I almost liked her but then she totally lost all her integrity w/ me after she colluded in assaulting Marcel. She's meh w/ me.
Marcel, obnoxious tool box. However, he takes risks and he's pretty innovative.
Season 3: Tre, work horse.
Dale L., hurray! I really like this guy
Casey, I don't know....she rubbed me the wrong way
Season 4: Richard Blais (whom everyone is calling by his surname only) the cocky gastro molecularist. Jesus, Blais, will you quit whining that you did not win yr season!
Antonia, she never really made an impression on me. This time around, I might bet on her.
Spike, blech. Dale, take Spike w/ you!
Season 5: Fabio, every one's favourite Italian. Except me, I never got the Fabio fuss.
Carla, the velociptraptor. She bugs!
Jamie, if she keeps the complaints to a minimum, then I'll root for her.
Season 6: Jen, don't take yrself so seriously. She's an outstanding chef but man she has a bitch face.
Mike I, see Dale & Spike.
Season 7: Angelo, annoying git
Tiffany, nope she still grates.

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants worked together w/ their season teammates to create a dish that represented the city where they filmed their season. Wow, that was wordy! I hoped I explained it clearly. And the bottom of the barrel were Season 2's overly salted shrimp tacos on a too thin green apple "taco shell" (ick!), Season 1's overly powerful garlic seasoned gazpacho, Season 5's non cohesive trio of apple dishes & another overly salted dish of crab cakes from Season 7. Which leaves leaves seasons 3, 4 & 6 duking it out for immunity. And it goes to Season 4's homemade sausage & mustard ice cream......erm savoury ice cream...idk.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants had to cook the dish that sent them a-packin'. The only caveat being they can improve upon the dish but not change it drastically. Par example, if you made fish tacos the first time, they could not make fish stew this time.

There was a bit of contention as Blais was called in w/ the best chefs but was immediately sent away as he was still plating after time had run out. I don't think this was done maliciously but then Dale was complaining it was a bullshit decision. Dude, he broke a fucking rule, get over yrself! And winning dish went to Angelo's (BOO!) ramen & Asian spiced pork belly. Begrudgingly, I would eat sounds yum. And 1st to get the boot was Elia because she never changed her loser dish of fish wrapped in a banana leaf.

Shocking decision, Elia's a consistently good chef. Shaping up to a fun season!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Keep on Keepin' On

I saw Harry Plopper Friday night. Brilliant! I think most of the adaptations of the novels to film have been very well done. I wasn't a fan of "Goblet of Fire" but that was also my least favourite out of the series.

Anyways, the set design was incredible and, holy golly!, Rupert Grint was outstanding.....angst, bitterness....incredible.

And I loved the cliff hanger ending. Voldemort, you evil bastard!

In other news, SB really wanted pizza for lunch on Saturday, so I picked up a take n' bake pie @ Hanaford. The cheese was plentiful, the toppings & sauce were total yum. THE CRUST WAS ABYSMAL!!!! Thick and mushy and did not crisp up at all in the oven. SB says he will never eat Hanaford pie again. Personally, I think if we tweak the temperature and cooking time, it might do the trick. SB says if we spend $9.99 on a pie, we should spend the money on a fresh pie from Marino's.

In late breaking news, Squeaky the cat, just sneezed on me. She's so damn cute that I can't stay mad at her.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Sleepy and Cranky

1) What irritates you more: misspellings or mispronunciations? Oh golly, that's like choosing which I hate more Hitler or killer radioactive monkeys.

2) If your child wanted to marry outside of your faith/belief system, how would you feel about that? Oh boy, more imaginary children questions! Love is love is love is love...

3) If you could reverse one law, which one would it be? Public nudity

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Or Some Thunk

The TT questions are brought to you by Bud, the color of a one eyed jack and the number 69.

1. There are a lot of emotions in life. Except for Mr. Spock. What emotionally scares you the most? Failure!!! Am I living life to the fullest? I just don't know anymore.

2. Do you have any present goals that are tough enough that you'd like to forget about them? Paying off my outstanding credit card bills

3. Your Internet service goes down. What would you miss the most? Playing Pop It

4. Name one thing that you do as a parent that you absolutely know will make your kids happy. If you're not a parent, feel free to substitute "friend" or nomenclature that works for you. (Nomenclature? Can you tell that I stole this question?) I'm not a parent, the family tree ends w/ me.
Substituting the word kid for friend, I make everyone happy w/ my giving spirit. Or something.

5. If money was no object, and you had a free month or so, what would you love to do? Travel, finish the attic.

6. Why did you start your blog? Was it because you were pissed at someone? I started my blog because I wanted to write and feel like I was being creative. Or something.

7. Kimber and Berleen (Thunks founders & BFFs) are finally going to meet in person. Who are you friends with in the blogosphere that you'd love to meet? Why? Sophia Walker because she's cool as ice.

8. When you were in high school, if you can remember back that far, what mistake did you make that you'd like to change? Not be such a doormat

9. Do you believe in forever, as in 'love forever'? Forever.....kinda hard because we all die. Everything dies

10. On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being uninhabitable and 10 being cleanliness that meets the standards of OCD, what is you favorite romantic comedy movie? Romantic comedies suck donkey balls.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Haps

Top Model was a recap of shitty stuff edited out the 1st time 'round. BLLLAAAAHHH! New recap next week whence the wiener is declared.

Top Chef All Stars starts this evening..can't wait!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Pat my Back

Even though, I have wicked PMS, I fucking kicked ass at boot camp today. I had to run for 3 minutes after completing 20 minute circuit course. I did not run quickly but I did not stop.

Erp....I have nothing more to say. Feeling kind of blocked.

Ideas? Seriously, I'll blog about anything.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Pre-Menstrual Meme

1) Thunderstorm arrives, power outage! How do you occupy your time? Candle, book....possibly nookie

2) Explain why you enjoy one of your hobbies. What do you get out of it? I love spending time cooking in my kitchen. I think it's the fact I that take on a task, complete it & it comes to fruition before my eyes.

3) Have you planned your funeral? Cremation, memorial service & "Anywhere I Lay my Head" by Tom Waits

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Just Desserts

We have reached the end of Top Chef: Just Desserts. I bid you adieu, fluffy competitive reality television program. Top Chef All Stars starts next week.

Blah blah blah....create four mind blowing desserts. Danielle did all ice creams. Morgan had a colour theme. Gidget went for a more esoteric theme of dating specifically in relation to be on Top Chef.

Blah blah blah......self induced drama.....Gidget won.

Be back in two weeks w/ All Stars.

Red Heads Need Not Apply

Top Chef recap, bitches!

Jane is completely jealous of Kayla winning top photo twice in a row. Jane, you sucky middle of the packer, shut it!

For the challenge, the hamsters met w/ the editor-in-chief of Vogue Italia, she and ALT graded the hamsters on their inter-personal skills. Chelsey won, I don't know why. She's so fucking generic. Chelsey chose Kayla to share in her prize, the chicks got to have a private viewing of The Last Supper and posh private accommodations at a luxury hotel.

I preferred Ann's anime rendition of The Last Supper. Love her!

For the photo challenge, the hamsters were directed by Tyr(ant) in a weird perfume type video. It was really....bizarre. They dressed like couture whores and wandered around in a mansion. I wouldn't have been surprised if a midget dressed in black popped out w/ a bottle of Obsession. And, KABLAMO, two hamsters were sent a-packin'. Ann had best "photo" of the week, leaving Chelsey, Kayla and Jane to squirm under the pressure. Chelsey is going to the finals, ousting Kayla and Jane. Kayla got robbed!!!!

Kick some ass, Ann!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Falling Apart

My doctor called me last week, "I got the results back from yr fasting lipid profile. I'm putting you on cholesterol meds." I begged, pleaded and pouted. So, unless I lose 15 - 20 lbs in a week, . I have to take the med. I fucking hate being on medication. I'm only 35 fucking years old!!! The shittest part is once you start the med, you cannot stop. I'm going to be on fucking Tricor for the rest of my miserable life.

The major side effect is muscle tenderness. This couldn't come at a worse time as I just restarted boot camp. So I can't tell where my aches and pains are coming from.

And, FYI, I've been battling my bad fatty blood for over 5 years now w/ diet and exercise. Just another perk to having polycystic ovarian syndrome.

I'm blue :-(

Monday, November 22, 2010

Oh Lord, Please Don't Let me Sink into the Abyss

1) What are you looking forward to this week? This month? Thanksgiving...OBVIOUSLY!

2) What family or cultural tradition would you like to see die off permanently? Easter guilt

3) Write a 200-word story as fast you possibly can.

Once upon a time, there was a very sad girl that kept people at arm's length. A junkie broke her heart. She played w/ hearts. She got fat. She cried alot. She got thin. She cried alot.

"I think I'm made of glass.
I think I'm made of glass.
I think I'm made of glass.
I think I'm made of glass.
I think I'm made of glass.
I think I'm made of glass."

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Crappy Anniversary

Sorry I'm so late w/ the Top Chef: Just Desserts recap!

OMG Monsieur Payard is the guest judge! I'd walk over hot coals for one of his chocolate cakes.

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants had to make 4 pieces of chocolate that represent different parts of their lives. And what the hell?! Morgan was crying as he presented his chocolates. Ugh! These cheftestants are wearing me out w/ their tears! Gidget only had 3 chocolates, lame. Zac was too sweet. And Morgan wins another Elimination Challenge.

Then there was lots of grumbling about how Morgan never shows emotion over anything. Well, at least he doesn't have a weird rubber face, Danielle! Seriously, she looks like Shelly Duval had a stroke.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants had to make an anniversary cake for cake guru Sylvia Weinstock (she was the guest judge from the Quickfire wedding cake challenge) & her adorable husband Ben for their 61st wedding anniversary. Aww! Then we get a little background on how they met and their wedding. Precious! And the big weiner was Danielle...but but but her cake was fucking grey. GREY!

Then, holy crap, Zac was bitching at Judges' Table about Morgan's demeanor. Really? Is that the place for that? What the fuck difference does his grouchiness make to his desserts? Heh heh "Suck it, Zac." sayeth Morgan.

And Zac is gonna suck it all the way home.

Finale, next week.

The Thunk is Back!

The TT questions are brought to you by Berleen, the color of snowand the number that comes after 393.

Turn the TV on and open the newspaper.... whats the best reported news you've ever heard? Bloggers are the best restaurant critics.

Hey! Guess what? Whats the best personal news someone has told you? Leslie had her baby

Goshdarnit I'm tired... When you lay down to sleep at night, whats the best position for you to fall asleep in? On my left side w/ Sexybeast all spooned up against me.

What the most excited you've ever been? Recently, I asked to take part in a big project for work.

Ever touched a turkey? And yeah, I mean the gobble gobble kind. I'm glad I re-read this or this could have been a stupid question. Have you ever touched a living, breathing, not on your plate turkey? NO!

Its everywhere, it's driving me crazy! Spend money, people, spend money! Have you boughten anything from the "new & early" Black Friday deals this year? The Harry Potter XBox game which should be arriving this evening. SB is away all weekend....MUHAHAHAHA!

So the news is out, the most best news ever in the history of news - Kimber & Berleen are finally going to meet! Kimber is flying to Minnesota. What should she bring with her? A cactus

Kimber thinks all Minnesotans eat lutefisk. It's a Scandinavian food and lucky for her, we're German. Maybe it's Norwegian. Heck I don't know - you ever ate the stuff? Hold on....I think I'm going to puke.

Whats in your right pocket right now? I ain't got no pockets in my purty skirt

When you go to the dentist for your cleaning, do you use the toothbrush that they give you or do you use one that you have purchased yourself? Oh no use the free toothbrushes. Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Top Model recap, bitches!

The hamsters are in Milan & it's time for "go sees". They had 4 destinations to get to and had to return back to IMG Modeling Agency by 5:30. None of these dumbasses were able to navigate the city to get everywhere they needed to be...none of them. A first in Top Model history. Chelsey won the challenge by default because Ann, who actually booked the job w/ Versace, was late getting back to IMG. And Chris twisted her ankle while she was walking to get gelatto (instead of doing the challenge).

For the photo shoot, the hamsters were glopped up w/ clay like paint and made to look like statues. And yet again, they had to pose w/ a male model. Kayla, the lesbian, is finally easing up around the dudes. And she won best photo of the week as well. Ann needs to emote more. And packing it up was Chris and her lack of motivation.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Gloomy Monday Meme

1) When was the last time you gave yourself a pat on the back? A few weeks ago after I lost a fat roll

2) In public restrooms, do you hover or sit? HOVER, unless I'm drunk.

3) If you could take back something you did to someone, what would it be? Maybe not have been so careless w/ boys' hearts

Sunday, November 14, 2010


Both SB & myself had Veteran's Day off & I decided we needed to go on Wednesday night. This coincided w/ the grand opening of Dinosaur BBQ in Troy. We met up w/ Albany Jane to enjoy some good grub.

It was so crowded that we had to make own parking space. In yr face establishment!

Upon entering Dinosaur, you get smacked in the face w/ the smell of smoke. It's incredibly awesome.

There is a mighty fine selection of beer.

I had the chicken (BIG thumbs up!) and it came w/ 2 sides. I chose the greens, which were very acidic almost like a sauerkraut, & mashed sweet potatoes. But they brought me cole slaw, (HATE HATE HATE) & unfortunately, they ran out of the sweet potatoes. So I substituted baked beans, holy crap, they were spicy & had bits of pulled pork in it. SB wanted brisket and pulled pork & Albany Jane ordered the sausage and pulled pork. Oops! No more more brisket. They both had ribs.

The service was great and the waitress was incredibly apologetic for having to refuse our requests.

I'll be back.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Sloth Friday

I couldn't make up my mind about what to post.

Here's a meme, hope you enjoy!

1. Last beverage: Raspberry Lime Seltzer

2. Last phone call: My mother

3. Last text message: Sexybeast

4. Last song you listened to: "Goin' Down" by The Monkees

5. Last time you cried: Yesterday morning


6. Got back with someone you've broken up with: Nope

7. Been cheated on: Yes, what I fool I was!

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Never, regrets are a waste of time

9. Lost someone special: Yes.

10. Been depressed: After college, I didn't leave my apartment for a year

11. Been drunk and threw up: This has happened to me only recently. I blame it on my lack of gall bladder


12. Green

13. Blue

14. Black


15. Made a new friend: Pretty sure I have

16. Fallen out of love: Nope

17. Laughed until you cried: Lots of times

18. Met someone who changed you: A client

19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes.

20. Found out someone was talking about you: No and if someone has done that, they can fuck off

21. Kissed anyone on your Facebook friend's list: Yup

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Nearly all of them

24. Do you have any pets?: My fluffy kitty, Squeaky

25. Do you want to change your name: Yes, I will change my last name when I get married

26. What did you do for your last birthday? Free gigantic margarita @ Bomber's w/ friends and SB

28. What were you doing at midnight last night?: Sleeping

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Geek game night tomorrow

30. Last time you saw your mother: Wednesday

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I need more money

32. What are you listening to right now: The L Word, had the iPod on during my evening commute set to shuffle

33. Have you ever talked to a person named the same as you: Yup

34. Who is getting on your nerves now? Nobodyl

35. Most visited webpage: Facebook or Television w/out Pity

36.What's your real name: Susan Marie Bernardi

37. Nicknames: Freckles, Su-Su, Zuzan

38. Relationship Status: happily taken, soon to be married

39. Zodiac sign: Libra

40. Male or female?: female

41. Primary School?: St. Paul's

42. Secondary School?: St. Paul's

43. High school/college?:Schenectady High School --- HVCC --- SUNY New Paltz --- CSC --- Granite State

44. Hair color: red w/ blonde highlights, soon to be changed after I get my hair did tomorrow

45. Tall or short: shorty

46. Height: 5'1"

47. Do you have a crush on someone?: Nope

48: What do you like about yourself?: My freckles

49. Piercings: just my ear lobes

50: Tattoos: One on my foot of lily of the valley...planning my second soon


52. First surgery: Wisdom teeth after I graduated college, 1998

53. First piercing: When I was in 1st grade

54. First best friend: Heather

55. First sport you joined: cheerleading in 8th grade

56. First vacation: camping in Martha's Vineyard

57. First pair of trainers: 3 I think


58. Eating: I just finished Late July dark chocolate cookies

59. Drinking: seltzer

60. I'm about to: have some dinner

61. Listening to: The L Word

62. Waiting for: SB to come home tomorrow

63. I'm feeling: lazy


64. Want kids?: NO

65. Get married?: YES

66. Career: supervisory position in non-profit


67. Lips or eyes: eyes

68. Hugs or kisses: both

69. Shorter or taller: Taller

70. Older or Younger: Older

71. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: tummy

73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship


75. Kissed a stranger: Yes ;-)

76. Drank hard Liquor: yes

77. Lost glasses/contacts: Lost lots of contacts down the drain, I wear my glasses full time now

78. Sex on first date: Never

79. Broken someone's heart: Possibly

80. Been arrested: Nope

81. Turned someone down: Yup

82. Cried when someone died: Yes..

83. Fallen for a friend: Total cliche but yes


84. Yourself: Not enough

85. Love at first sight: Attraction yes, love no

86. Heaven: Yes

87. Santa Claus: No

88. Kiss on the first date: Yes! Though SB and I did not

89. Angels: Yes

90. God: Yes


91. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time?: I've dated a few people at the same time

92. Did you sing today?: Always!

93. Did something illegal?: Yes

94. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: 13, I'd smack some sense into myself

95. The moment you would choose to relive?: My first date w/ SB

96. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Nope

97. When was the last time you lied?: ? I dont' remember

98. Are you usually late, early or right on time?: Early-ish

99. Would you give your life to save someone else's?: Depends on the circumstances

100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths: Nope

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Tea for Two

Sugar time Top Chef recap!

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants had to create edible bouquets. Danielle forgot to decorate the backs of her flowers, Zac made a big sloppy mess, Eric was just plain blech. Morgan made a beautiful professional design. Hurray, Morgan won!

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants had to make desserts for a tea party. The desserts had to be a pair ala a famous Hollywood couple. But ALAS no chocolate of any kind could be used. Zac's Capn' Crunch thingie (Julie Andrews) w/ a Pink Panther pavlova (Blake Edwards) won. It was cute & sweet & I heartily approved of any dessert made w/ cereal. And packing it up was Eric's duo of short breads representing Oprah and Stedman.

Bye bye, baker!

Hamster Over Board

Top Model recap time, y'all!

And SURPRISE, the hamsters are going to Venice, Italy! A bird shat on Liz. Jane was annoying.

For the photo shoot, the hamsters were divided into two groups of three w/ a male model in gondola. Kayla, Liz & Chris went first. Liz was sweating and bitching. Chris was a hootchie. Kayla kicked ass! Second group was Chelsey, Ann & Jane. Ann couldn't get comfortable in teeny tiny gondola. Jane was boring. Chelsey whatever.

Then the hamsters hopped of to Milan. Unless yr Liz and you think Tyr(ant) said "Mulan". What? Mulan is not a place, it's a cartoon. Yr hopeless, Liz!

Oh coolness, the hamsters went to the House of Missoni. The hamsters were swathed in couture knits. Poor Ann wore a floor length poncho.

Kayla won best photo! In yo' straight bitches faces! Chelsey looked like she swallowed a big cup of envy. And packing it up was bitchy pants Liz.

Ugh, good riddance!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Gustar o No Gustar?

For months, I have been going back n' forth over which fast food Tex-Mex I like better, Chipotle or Moe's.

Both use fresh, tasty ingredients. Both will customize yr order. I do give Moe's a slight advantage because they have cilantro.

However, I was at a training today w/ catered taco bar from Moe's. I prefer hard tacos because white flour tortillas tend to get too chewy for me. I could have had a "salad" but those GIGANTIC taco shells are the devil. Anyways, I had one chicken taco w/ pico de gallo and one beef taco w/ mild salsa. The chicken had great flavour but it was dry. It might have happened en route to the training facility but I can't be certain. The real issue was the taco shell was dry and crumbly on my chicken taco and the salsa completely moistened and dissolved on my beef taco. I had to eat them w/ a fork!

I am now in love w/ Chipotle.

Monday, November 8, 2010

What you Say?

1) If you were stranded somewhere, what would be the hardest thing for you to do: start a fire, eat unfamiliar food, sleep on the ground without a tent, or not be clean? Start a fire, so I'd probably freeze to death, my hands clutching poisonous mushrooms, curled up on the cold hard ground filthy as a pig.

2) Describe the community you live in, as if it were the setting for a book. Typical suburban town in upstate New York.

3) When was the last time you fell asleep at work? One very warm day in September, my drooped for about 20 minutes. No one saw. The perfect crime!

Sunday, November 7, 2010


I'm sick. I hate being sick. I'm a big, whiny baby when I'm under the weather.

The floors in my house are covered in dirty tissues. Food has a dull flavour. My head is killing me.

When I was kid, I liked being sick. My mother would make me toaster strudel, I'd watch TV all day uninterrupted by my brothers, consume mass quantities of red Kool Aid & have a cache of comics and magazines at my disposal.

Being sick as a adult sucks donkey balls! Last night, SB made me a hot chocolate w/ vodka whipped cream. And I think it cured me.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Head to Head

Let's get our sweet tooth on w/ a Just Desserts recap, shall we?

Hurray hurray, relay race time! Yes yes, for the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants were broken into 2 teams of 3. Thankfully team Snot Bag (Zac, Gidget & Heather) were on one side and Team Slightly More Tolerable (Morgan, Danielle & Eric) on the other. Task #1: make tart crusts - Danielle whips past Gidget. Huh, who knew? Task #2: make 10 butter cream roses - Eric blows SMT's lead to Heather. Task #3: beat some eggs into a meringue and hold the bowl over yr head for 10 seconds - Morgan pulls SMT back to the lead. Task #4: stretch a strudel dough across the length of their work table. Here's an interesting tip: strudel dough doesn't stretch so nice. And unfortunately, Snot Bag won.

For the Elimination Challenge, the two teams went head to head w/ competing bakeries & had to include one bread item. And even though they had a corny name, SMT's bakery "Whisk me Away" won w/ their comfort baked goods. I'll tell ya, I'd stab someone in the eye to get a good chocolate chip cookie. And packing it up was Heather and her crappy dough.

Ding dong the witch is dead!

Roller Disco Barbie

Top Model recap, y'all!

For the Challenge, the hamsters had to walk in a Zac Posen show. Poor Zac Posen's receding hair line! There was a mix of professional models in the show & were instructed to "act" mean to the poor little hamsters. Ummmm.....yeah.....pretty sure that wasn't acting. But in the end Chelsey was the best w/ her composure and model strut thang. Meh, Chelsey is kinda cold and boring to me.

For the photo shoot, the hamsters had to act in a commercial. AAAAHHHH!!!! Fuck me! Models don't act, usually. Why oh why am I being tortured? Not only did they have to recite lines but they were on roller blades and had give a male model a BIG smoocheroo.

Poor Kayla had a freak out because it turns out she was sexually abused for an extended period time when she was kid. Yeah, there's nothing good about that at all. But she made it through the shoot OK.

And Ann kept, literally, falling on her butt. Heh heh! Now that's comedy.

Best performance went to Chris. She's kind of fun I guess but no where near my favourite. And packing it up was Esther and her gigantic boobs.

Whew! No more stupid acting episodes.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Hallow Weenie

Check me out as a "spaghetti Western" & SB as a the Man w/ no Name from "The Good, the Bad & the Ugly". I had a wig but it looked hideous.

We ended up a local bar & it was the first time in a long time we had to pay full price for everything. The people there were very douchy. I saw the Great Milenko. And the DJ played a charming little ditty called "All my Bitches Love Me". We so need to find a new watering hole.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Novemberary Meme

1) Do you believe the death penalty is justified and/or effective? Why or why not? I don't think it's a deterrent to crime but I don't know what the solution should be.

2) Does it sometimes make you paranoid when other people laugh? Occasionally but I've had people laugh at me in front of my it's justified.

3) How many birthdays and/or anniversaries of friends and family will be happening this month? The little red one & my middle bro-bro are having birthdays. Autumn is a hectic season for birthdays and anniversaries.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Short of it

I'm pleased to say that I'm making some head way w/ my dietary lifestyle changes. And I'm slightly less paunchy than I have been. Stuck at size 12 for the time being. Boobs in a C cup though! As God as my witness I will never be a D again ;-) Really addressing my snacking habits & traded in somewhat healthier chocolate for dried apricots. Plus in two weeks, I will be doing both Zumba and boot camp.

Yup, I'm a pretty girl.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Blankety Blank

Today's questions are brought to you by thecolor purple, witches' brooms, the number 800-555-1000, and hootin' anni.

1] We all love snuggly things, right? In your own words, explain how the "X" and "O" became symbols for kisses and hugs! Who the hell cares?!

2] Besides eliminating sticks, what would you put in a non-stick pan? Used chewing gum

3] x=y over pi squared. What are your thoughts on crematoriums having discounts on those that die in fires? That doesn't happen....ever

4] Tongue twisters are fun...but, it's torture to try to say lisp with that "s" in the word. What is your favorite tongue twister? Risque answers get extra credit! Eleven benevolent elephants

5] Cold weather is coming up. If it's zero degrees Fahrenheit, and tomorrow night it's predicted to be twice as cold, what temperature will it be? Below 0

6] Your significant other is upset with you, would you rather be skating on thin ice or be in hot water? Why? Hot water because I usually get a flushed face when I'm upset

7] What's worse, expecting the unexpected or being a wise guy? Expecting the unexpected because it usually ends being far worse than I can imagine.

8] What brand of vacuum cleaner sucks the best? Mine really sucks!!! Dyson all the way

9] How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Do you like playing with fire? No, it burns

10] Toys R us...what was your favorite toy? Spirograph...hours and hours spent on that sucker

11] Halloween is near...let's go grave robbing....what would you like to find? Nazi gold

12] Do you wake up or open your eyes first? Depends on the day

13] What mask would you wear to a Halloween Party? All white and expressionless....very scary.