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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Rumours of my Death have been Greatly Exaggerated

It started off as a cold. Which led to a stupid fever blister on my lip. Then the congestion made me throw up green mucus. Then goopy stuff came out of my eyes & they sealed shut when I slept.

Bronchitis: pain, wheezing

Asthma: scary scariness not being able to breath

Tonsil infection: sore mucus throat

The thing that pisses me off is that my regular GP is on vacation this week & they couldn't just squeeze me in as an emergency. Off to the Doc in a Box, got the hook up w/ a free inhaler & it only cost bucks more than a follow up visit w/ my usual place. I declined the script for codeine cough syrup as codeine makes me feel freaked out & cough syrup tastes like ass. It didn't help that the doc said "it make you high!"

Hot chocolate & Kahlua time!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

After all that?

Today we ripped off a blogger named Firecat from the blog Party in My Head. He doesn't state where he got it. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Bud is Back Meme

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Why did you sign up for writing your blog? To clear space in my brain so I could write fiction.....not working out so well.

2. Why did you choose your blog's name? What does it mean? It describes me

3. Do you ever had another blog? Nope

4. What do you do online when you're not on your blog? Facebook, research awesome dinner recipes, read TV recaps, brain games, check up the best feminist essays

5. How about when you're not on the computer? Reading, listening to music, cooking, having adventures

6. What do you wish people who read your blog knew about you? Nothing, I'm an open book

7. What is your favorite community in the blogosphere? I don't know what that means

8. What is your philosophy on your blog layout? Simple yet intriguing

9. Tell me about your picture you use to represent you on your blog. What picture? My profile picture, it's cute and funny.

10. Pick 3 random blogs from your blogroll and tell us about them. She Walks Softly beautiful grotesque art, Monkey Muck thought provoking hilarity, and Kiss & Makeup smart, sexy and close personal friend.

11. What features do you think your blog should have that it doesn't currently? It's fucking amazingly awesome the way that it is, thank you.

12. What do you consider the 10 most "telling" interests that we would infer from what you blog persona? Huh?

13. Do you have any unique interests that you have never shared before? What are they? Nope, my readers know everything

14. The best thing about blogging is all of the friends that you make, Beside from those folks, do you think your blog has fans? Totally, lots of funny interesting dark people

15. What's your current obsession? What about it captures your imagination? It's that time of the year: Rankin/Bass stop motion holiday specials ( AND their cartoons too!)

16. What are you glad you did but haven't really had a chance to post about? My plague

17. How many people that first became a blog friend, have you met face to face? 3 or 4

18. What don't you talk about here, either because it's too personal or because you don't have the energy? Cartoons and childhood tv shows

19. What's a question that you'd love to answer? I don't know, you haven't asked me yet

20. Have you ever lost a blogging friendship and regretted it? No

21. Have you ever lost a blogging friendship and thought, “Was that overdue!” No

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Haters be Hatin'

Confounded by Top Model for it's lack of consistency...yet again!

Miss J, walking coach extraordinaire, decided to be a shit mixer and had the hamsters critique each other's walks & portfolios. Lisa & Angelea gave everybody the stank eye, Dominque was being a stealth bitch under the guise of "I see so much of myself in you!" and Laura & Allison trying to be the nice guys. But as it turns out in a blind survey the majority voted that Allison has the least model potential (read: BIG threat) while Laura has the most (read: no real competition)

For the photo shoot, the hamsters had to pose in modern couture in the style of ancient Greek games. Angelea did not know what a shot put or "pit shot" was.....seriously? There was no track & field at yr high school in the 617? Laura & her archery gear won best photo. I'm going to agree because she has been looking busted lately but her veiled hat thing looked fantastic. And going home was Dominque. What the what? Over Angelea? Why? Dominque is gorgeous & takes photos & has a fantastic runway walk. She's a little long in the tooth but way way way cuter Angelea & her bad acne & drag queen personae.

Recap will be back in two weeks!

There's a Snake in my Boot

Back in the saddle w/ the first real episode of Top Chef!

For the Quickfire, the cheftestants had to prepare a dish using rattlesnake. Hm, no sir! Rattlesnake sounds so unappetizing. And thankfully, the snakes were already dead & I was spared watching the cheftestants bash in rattlesnake brains. Sucking it hardcore were Paul's non-existent snake peach BBQ boringness, Richie's overly jerked snake & Nyesha's chewy snake poo. Winning the Quickfire and immunity was Dakota's beer battered tempura. I'm kinda digging the tattooed lady that is Dakota.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants were split into two teams (GRR! ARGH!) to cater a quincenera for a very sweet 15 y/o girl. She got peppered w/ questions: so far, so good for the cheftestants. Then it all went to shit for the Pink Team! First, Keith decided it would be far more economical to buy pre-cooked shrimp.........ummmm, what? Not so much. Then nothing but packaged tortillas as far the eye could see. Really?! In a cooking competition? Disappointing! Needless to say they lost to the Green Team, though no cheftestant was singled out for being a super duper winner. And packing it up was Keith and his completely soggy enchiladas.

I wish Blanca the 15 y/o would be a judge every week, Hugh A. gives me the creeps!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

You Say, I Say

I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Crushed :: Crushed
  2. Thanks :: A lot
  3. Steam :: Engine
  4. Bulletin :: Technical
  5. Budget :: Rental
  6. Value :: Inn
  7. Aquarium :: Pandora
  8. Logo :: TV
  9. Information :: Society
  10. Lend :: A Hand

Friday, November 18, 2011

Attack of the Killer Bees!

I'm on a new vitamin regimen of Vitamin D, B6, B12, Omega 3 & Calcium w/ Vitamin D....all of this is supposed to improve my mood. BUT I am still a raging bitch-face!

I was slowly creeping on my commute home gnashing my teeth & hating the world, when I smelled rich aroma of a wood burning stove. I was transported by to 1979 to my neighbors' basement. They had a steamer trunk that housed board games. We're playing Life, Diff'rent Strokes is on the TV & I'm eating Ruffles and drinking Coke....and I am so supremely happy.

"I want to go to there." Liz Lemon

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Zorba the Geek

Top Model recap time!

The hamsters are in Greece, hey, maybe they could solve their financial crisis!

For the challenge, the hamsters had to give a 2 minute speech about themselves to the Greek "press" (read bored Grecians that wanted to be on TV) AND they had to incorporate Greek phrases and mention something from Greek mythology. The winner won a neato gold wrist cuff. Some of them came off as inarticulate, Angelea talked about taking a leak and the winner was my sweet sexy alien Allison.

For the photo shoot, the hamsters had to pose in underwear (which was actually very cute, SHOCKING!) and lay in a gigantic bowl of Greek salad. Ugh! Isn't "Greek" salad an American invention? This was so fucking degrading. Of course, Shannon the 1000 year old corpse refused to do the shoot because it's against her principles to pose in underwear. For cereal, that underwear set looked like swimwear. Plus, Shannon has worn more provocative outfits than bathing suit looking underwear....sooooo....what the fuck? Winning photo went to Dominique, thankfully Allison came in second. And packing it up was Shannon, yawn.

Melt downs galore next week!

Bubble Boy

Top Chef recap time!

Again we were forced to watch the whittling down for the final 16 cheftestants. Wake when it's over! Grr....grumble grumble!

Anyways, the remaining 10 hopefuls gathered around some proteins & a cloche (the silver dome thing that covers room service food). Picking, choosing, blah blah blah. And....underneath the cloche was a time pre-set to a time that the hopefuls had to abide by. Winners, losers, bubbles.

Then the bubblers had to square off for the final two cheftestant spots. To me the bubblers had it easy, they could make whatever they wanted. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Two peeps got through. And apparently, later on Bravo, Chef Tom had another showdown w/ the discarded hopefuls for one more spot on Top Chef. I have no idea who it 17 cheftestants then, I guess?

Next week we will have a real episode.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Blah Blah Blah

Today we ripped off a blogger namedTense Teacher from the blog Tense for a Reason. It's long so we'll do it in two parts. She stole it from The Coffee Table. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Madness Meme, Part 2

Cheers to all of us thieves!

23. Do you ever walk around the house naked? Absolutely, all the time. It's my damn house and you can't stop me!

24. If you were an animal what would you be? Why? Either a house kitty because I like to sleep all day and be loved on or an octopus because of their intelligence and their awesome location.

25. Hair color you like on someone you’re dating? My husband shaves his clear.

26. If suffering an injury, would you rather be left blind or deaf? Blind, I couldn't live if I didn't have music.

27. Do you have any special talents? What do regard as "special"?

28. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house? Get the mail, kiss SB & take off my coat.

29. Do you like horror or comedy? A little of both

30. Are you missing anyone? Yes

31. Where do you want to live when you are old? Either Scotland or Mexico

32. Who is the person you can count on the most? Myself, then SB, then my parents

33. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be? Peter Sellers, he makes me laugh and had such lovely eyes.

34. What did you dream last night? I honestly don't remember....I think there was neon signs involved.

35. What is your favorite sport to watch? Baseball...only live though

36. Are you named after anyone? Nope

37. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? It's called a Greyhound, it's grapefruit and vodka

38. Non alcoholic drink? Hot chocolate, seltzer or a banana chocolate smoothie from Starbucks

39. Have you ever been in love? Obviously!

40. Do you sing in the shower? No, I get great story ideas in there though

41. Have you ever been arrested? No

42. What is your favorite Holiday? Halloween: it has everything I need! Dressing up, junk food, silliness.

43. Would you ever get plastic surgery? I would totally get lipo if it was free

44. Have you ever caught a fish? The first fish I ever caught was near Tupper Lake when I was 12. It swallowed the hook.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Slicin' up Eye Balls

If there's one thing in the world I love the most, it's the road trip.

Last Saturday SB & I drove out to Long Island to see Pixies in Huntington on their Lost Cities tour.

Thank God for the GPS otherwise we'd still be driving in circles down there! Waayyyy too many parkways and highways and bypasses down there for this suburbanite.

We stayed at the Executive Inn in Westbury, it was perfectly cromulent.

Pixies were better than amazing!!!! They performed "Doolittle" in it's entirety. Great great stuff!

The next day we hit up Trader Joe's, though they are essentially the same, each store offers a little something different to the patrons. Damn, I love Trader Joe's!

We took the Taconic Parkway home, beautiful drive w/ no cars. This weekend reeked of awesomeness!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Stop the Insanity!

Top Model recap time!

I am still lamenting the loss of Kayla......damn you, Tyra(nt)!

This was the single most painful episode of Top Model since Tyra(nt) put out "Shake ya Booty"! The hamsters were forced to write a song, record said song & then make it into a video. Awful awful stuff! My eyes and ears are still recovering!

Allison was the best of the worst.....she's fucking adorable and if she doesn't win, I may put my foot through the TV. Packing it up was Alexandria....FINALLY!

Next week: Greece

Psyche Out!

Top Chef has started back up again!

This time around the cheftestants will be cooking all around the great state of Texas. And HOLY COW, there are 29 cheftestants! That seems a bit excessive & ponderous. But there was a twist! The cheftestants are exactly on the show, instead, they must cook for a spot. I think this premises is incredibly stupid. I don't want to watch a bunch of auditions, I want to watch a competition.

For the first round of cuts (silly cooking pun intended), some of the cheftestants had to cook a part of a pig. A cut of pork per cheftestants. HOWEVER, some of the cuts were adjacent to each other and required butchering. Which lead us to our first elimination, Stone....Chef Tyler Stone. A ridiculous man w/ overly plucked eyebrows whom hacked up a delicious side o' pork, leaving one poor cheftestant w/ exactly 3 ounces of tenderloin. They didn't taste his food! Then Colin the vegan, who has cooked meat in over 7 years, got rejected at judges table because his plate already looked like it was chewed up and spit out. The judges are not fucking around this year!

AND then another twist, instead of a simple in or out determination, there was a 3rd option: the bubble. If a cheftestant ends up in the bubble, then have to make yet another dish to stay in the competition.

The next round of hopefuls were shown a bevy of proteins but they all had to agree to use just one.....rabbit. No more on the spot eliminations, sadly.

And that was it: we have cheftestants, bubblers & one more group yet to cook. I found this episode completely unnecessary.

Hope this season gets better.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

In the Belly of the Beast

Today we ripped off a blogger namedTense Teacher from the blog Tense for a Reason. It's long so we'll do it in two parts. She stole it from The Coffee Table. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Madness Meme, Part 1

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work? Licked?! No........I usually rub them on my boobs

2. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated? 10 years older, Bob the 1st guy I ever slept w/

3. Ever been in a car wreck? Several.....we're not talking about though

4. Were you popular in high school? Does hell go w/ no?

5. Have you ever been on a blind date? Yup, quite a few. Let me put it this way, you have to dig through a lot of dirt before you get to the treasure.

6. Are looks important? To a degree, I'm not vain but thank God SB is not butt.

7. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more? Yes, I play for keeps

8. By what age would you like to be married? I already am married, I was 35 at the time.

9. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them? Not at all

10. Have you ever made a mistake? Seriously!? Who the fuck thinks of these question?

11. Are you a good tipper? I think 20% is good for tips.

12. What’s the most you have spent for a haircut? My stylist is expensive, it's about $65 for a haircut

13. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Yes, when I spent a semester in Mexico. His name was Jose & he was only 5 years older than me. He liked my hair and hugged me!

14. Have you ever peed in public? Only accidentally

15. What song do you want played at your funeral? EXCELLENT question! "Anywhere I Lay my Head" by Tom Waits

16. Would you tell your parents if you were gay? Yes

17. What would your last meal be before getting executed? Prime rib, cheesy garlic mashed potatoes, Lima beans and German chocolate cake secretly seasoned w/ motherfucker is gonna execute me!

18. Beatles or Stones? Beatles always and forever

19. If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be? Wow! A disgusting animal abuser.

20. Beer, wine or hard liquor? Hard liquor

21. Do you have any phobias? Small enclosed places, nuclear war, splatter flicks.

22. What are your plans for the future? Get a supervisory position at my job, finish the house, get out of debt.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Everybody Needs a Gimmick

Top Model recap time!

Hamsters had to create their own signature fragrance. Because nothing says legitimate model like stinky perfume in a tacky bottle! The hamsters then had to promote their stank at a "gala" while splish splashing in a bathtub. I think this was ridiculous & humiliating idea & so did Bianca because she refused to get in her tub. I couldn't get behind her though as she kept comparing herself to Beyonce and other A-listers. Bianca, get over yrself! Yr not even remotely in the same league as Ms. Knowles. And lookie look! It's Cycle 3 winner Eva (Pigford) Marcille. Don't know why she's going by Marcille now but she looks wicked cute w/ white blonde hair. And winning over the crowd and immunity from elimination was Lisa.

For the photo shoot, the hamsters had to portray either Snookie from "Jersey Shore" or Nene from Stupid Fake Whore Housewives while pretending to ride a motorcycle. Hey, I remember the motorcycle shoot from Cycle 3 while the hamsters were in full harajuku regalia....good times! And a much more awesome shoot to boot. Winning photo went to Nene Lisa, she actually looked pretty. Going home was Bianca because she sucks and Kayla.....KAYLA! I call shenanigans. Shannon should have gotten the boot in her old boring ass. My poor, sweet Kayla!

Next week: more shitty acting!

Sugar Coma

Finale of Top Chef: Just Desserts season 2.

Boring boring.......Chris won....boring boring

A very underwhelming season to say the least. I think the problem is there's only so much you can do w/ pastries and desserts.

Top Chef: Texas starts tonight, hope it's better than DC was.

Bon appetit!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


It's no secret that Hallowe'en is my absolutely favourite holiday. I usually start planning our costumes some time around August.

We went as a 1970's private investigator duo! My dream was to find some really awesome retro duds at a local thrift store/consignment shop but it didn't exactly work out like that. Sexybeast got outfitted from the Troy Good Will, we found an excellent tacky mouldy green Hawaiian shirt and an eye watering suit jacket. Douche bag aviator sunglasses completed the look.

I couldn't find jack shit and ended up buying a crappy "retro" costume from The Costumer. BOO! But I did come up w/ a great back story for my character. Her name is Candy and she was a former prostitute saved by her new "employer". She answers phones and hinders all the investigations.

All in all, it was great night. And SB has awesome knife skills.