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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Nice Weiner

Top Model recap fabulous!

The hamsters got branded! And I wish I was talking about hot irons on asses but alas, hamsters learned how to make themselves into a commodity. Kayla wanted to represent the queer ladies but no the branding "expert" claims that label is too "2005". Pack up, lesbians! Yr yesterday's newspapers! Now, Kayla is "free". Um...OK? Angelea is persistent & cheap shoes. Heh! I was thinking more drag queen but I'm just a snarky bitch. Bianca got candid which ended up w/ her being a gigantic bitch-asarus to the rest of the hamsters. Hey, y'all, she's just being "candid"! Any excuse for bad behaviour I guess.

Make over time! And for some reason Ashlee Simpson was lurking around.....EWWW EWW EWW! Do like her hair though. Alexandria got her long blonde locks chopped off, she looks better w/out bangs though. Lots of hair extensions. Lisa got a much needed hair cut but she bitched and moaned the whole time. I hate that skank! Heh, Mr. Jay called her a dowdy housewife and that shut her up. Kayla got red highlights, very cute. Bre had a melt down about going shorter. Oh shush, you ten times better than where you started! She even threatened to leave the show but rest assured she stayed. Whew!

For the photo shoot, the hamsters had pose w/ chili dogs & convey their brand. I didn't like this photo shoot. Too messy & grossly weird. Winning photo was Lisa's incredibly disgusting "daring" photo. Ugh! She's a horrible dresser & here's a tip, CHEW W/ YR MOUTH CLOSED! Lame. And Sheena got the old heave ho. She was not bringing the unexpected...except w/ her never ending supply of jump suits.

Next week: tooch!

Snoopy Sno-Cone Maker

Top Chef recap time!

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants had to make a fun & bold candy bar. This means you they needed to re-imagine Charleston Chew, not make a Charelston Chew. By the by, those suckers taste better frozen! On the bottom tier, Cutie Pie Matthew and his unfinished hazel nut praline orange vanilla chocolate (gee whiz! No wonder he didn't finish! Too many things going on for a candy bar) and Katzie's banana curd (ick!) jasmine ganache & dark chocolate "mess on a stick". And winning it was Sally's peanut butter, chocolate, chocolate nibs, & chocolate ganache. Sally won immunity and Katzie's jealousy. Yeah, Sally how dare you try to win by using ingredients that the judges enjoy to eat! You, bitch!

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants participated in YET ANOTHER team challenge. Enough already w/ the team challenges! It's making very hard for me to distinguish the cheftestants. Anyways, the cheftestants were in teams and making cool & refreshing desserts for families at a water park. Fun times! Gimme a lemon ice. The winning team was Katzie, Megan & Rebecca. And Katzie being the ultra-mega winner w/ her baked Alaska spumoni on a stick. Hell to the yes! And packing it up was Amanda (who?) and her hockey puck funnel cakes. At least you'll always have Mother Russia.

Yet another middle of the packer bites the dust. SB is totally overwhelmed by this season & I must admit no one is REALLY standing out for me.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


This post is dedicated to Jon in Albany because he has good taste

I made some amazing low fat mac n' cheese last week which I got from this site. I made some modifications. Enjoy!

1 1/2 cups of yr fave pasta (I used whole wheat penne Barilla)
2 tbsp butter (Smart Balance in my case)
1/4 C flour
1/4 C diced onion
2 cups skim milk (all I had on hand was 1%)
1 C broth (Better than Bullion veggie flavour)
2 cups low fat cheddar (my preference is Cabot 50% fat free)
a dash of S&P
1 1/2 cups of broccoli florets
1/8 C Parmesan cheese
1/4 C breadcrumbs (Panko all the way!)
cooking spray

1.Preheat oven 375 degrees.

2.Cook yr pasta & broccoli together in boiling water for about 7 minutes or so.

3. Melt butter in a skillet. Add onion on low heat for 2 mins , throw in flour & cook for another minute. Add milk & broth w/ a whisk, get the flour & wet ingredients nicely mixed. Crank the heat up to med-high & boil for 5 mins or until it's thick. Salt & pepper it.

4. Remove from heat & add the cheese. More S & P. Mix the cheese w/ the mac & pour into a casserole dish coated w/ cooking spray. Sprinkle w/ the breadcrumb like substance & parm.

5. Bake uncovered for 15 minutes (20 if you have want a crisper top).

Cheesy, tasty & full of fiber!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Head under Water

Explain to me why:

1. Late people in a movie theater always make noise and sit in front of me. Everybody talks in the movie theatre, that's just a fact of life.

2. Why people choose to walk in the street rather than use the sidewalk. That doesn't bother me as much as bicycles on the sidewalk. I think it's man innate ability to be stupid.

3. Why teens in pictures on Facebook always have to hold a red cup to prove they are cool. Red = hot stuff White = mom

4. Why there could be nobody in line for the bathroom until you need to go. Women sync up their bladders together

5. Why some Walmart's have up to 100 check out lanes? Walmart is busy

6. Why they always need re-adjusting or scratching. Balls you mean? Because they sweat a lot and the hairs poke and tickle them

7. Why people go 30mph in the left lane in a 45 zone. Alzheimer's

8. Why people in congress are getting a raise. What do you mean? Don't they deserve it?

9. Why people on bicycles think they can weave through traffic and ignore lights and stop signs. That actually doesn't happen that often.

10. Why computers like to tell you they need to be restarted only when you are in the middle of doing something important. I have an Apple so no issues there...HA HA!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Day Tripper

Today we ripped off a blogger named Jessfrom the blog IROCKSOWHAT. She says everyone is doing it, but doesn't say who she stole it from. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: That Meme That's Going Around

Cheers to all of us thieves!

A. Age: 36 next month....October 21st, mark it on yr calenders!

B. Bed size: queen

C. Chore that you hate: washing dishes....I'd rather gnaw on my fist

D. Dogs: something big & sturdy

E. Essential start to your day: shower

F. Favorite color: green

G. Gold or Silver: silver

H. Height: 5ft

I. Instruments you play: I used to play the flute when I was in middle school

J. Job title: Case Manager

K. Kids: zero, not going to happen ever ever

L. Live: I have no idea what yr talking about

M. Mother's name: Carol

N. Nicknames: Freckles....amongst others

O. Overnight hospital stays: 1984 recovering from food poisoning

P. Pet peeve: bad grammar and apathy

Q. Quote from a movie: "I said no salt on the margarita! NO SALT!"

R. Right or left handed: right

S. Siblings: 2 older brothers

T. Time you wake up: 6 am

U. Underwear: I have a pair on if that's what you w/ white polka dots

V. Vegetable you hate: eggplant.....UGH!

W. What makes you run late: laziness

X. X-Rays you've had: hands, back and hips

Y. Yummy food that you make: I made some kick ass low fat mac n' cheese....the secret was the panko topping

Z. Zoo animal: birds of prey

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Deja Vomit

Top Model is back!

This is a very extra special's All Star time! I really didn't agree w/ the majority of the choices Tyra(nt) made in who she called back.....but I'm thinking that most of the hamsters I enjoyed viewing had good enough sense not to further humiliate themselves on the small screen again.

Season 1: Shannon, annoying Christian girl. I couldn't stand her then, I can't stand her now. I miss Elyse! My beautiful dark haired waif!

Season 2: Camille, the arrogant bitch. Thumbs down! Where's Shandi? Oh yeah, Shandi has awesome tattoos and wants nothing to do w/ Tyra(nt) ever again.

Season 3: no representation.....I loved redheaded Nicole....sadly, the rumour is that she's working at a Starbucks in Minnesota. :-(

Season 4: Brittney, pretty party gal. Amazing body, slightly annoying. My fave was Naima and she won so no need to bring her back.

Season 5: we have two hamsters! Bre, stank attitude and annoying lazy eye Lisa. Lisa was last seen on Celebrity Rehab. Wonder if she still has a "problem"? Ugh to both of these, bitches! I want androgynous Kim!

Season 6: no hamsters from then either....I loved Joanie & Mollie Sue. But they're real models now so nuts to Tyra(nt)!

Season 7: nobody...I liked AJ

Season 8: nobody...I liked Sarah & Brittany

Season 9: Bianca, another idiot bitch. Where's plus size Sarah or pixie cut Janet?

Season 10: Dominque, mean bitch. Plus she looks like a drag queen. BLAH!!! I want Brooklyn punk Lauren!

Season 11: Isis, the 1st transsexual contest & Kimora Lee Simmons wannabe Sheena (I can't stand her!). I like Isis actually but my fave from that season was sweet French Marjorie.

Season 12: Allison, HURRAY! My sweet doe eyed, nose bleeding enthusiast! She got so robbed when Bevis T-Rex trapped in a wind tunnel won.

Season 13: Laura, sweet country gal. She's not bad, a bit annoying. Redhead Nicole won that cycle & I loved loved loved her!

Season 14: Angelea, another drag queen asshole. I want Ren!

Season 15: Kayla, HUZZAH! She's an out and proud lesbian and she's freaking gorgeous!

Season 16: Alexandria, oh no not Bitch Face! I thought I saw the last of her! Grr! I wanted Kasia and her plus sized beauty!

No competitive challenge for this episode....praise the Lord!

For the photo shoot, the hamsters had to exaggerate the persona they created on their original season. Winning photo went to Isis, whom I might add had the final surgery completed! Nice job, Isis. And packing it up was Brittany.....really? She was gorgeous but Tyra(nt) deemed her unmemorable. I say bullshit!

I'm rooting for Kayla and Allison!

We are the Music Makers & we are the Dreamers of Dreams

Oompa doompa doopity do, time for another Top Chef: Just Desserts recap for you!

There was no Quickfire Challenge this week & were treated to a special viewing of the "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory". Though Cutie Matthew wanted to be prepared just in case and saved his popcorn and red licorice. On a personal note, "Wonka" is one of my all time favourite movies ever in the history of film! It's in my top three w/ "Pulp Fiction" and "Breakfast at Tiffany's".

And SURPRISE! 4 out of the 5 Golden Ticket child actors were in the audience w/ the cheftestants. No Augustus Gloop....maybe he died from eating too much strudel. And this week's Elimination Challenge is to make an edible room ala the "Pure Imagination" scene from "Wonka". I was hoping that a cheftestant would make an edible daffodil like Gene Wilder chowed down on in the movie. But no such luck.

Though this wasn't a group challenge, the cheftestants had to work cohesively to achieve the grandeur of the edible room. ANOTHER TWIST, double elimination this round. And packing it up were Craig, FINALLY. He attempted to make large gummy bears but they clumped and plopped and looked poopy. And Cranky Ass Melissa for her disgusting green doughnuts. The big winner of the challenge was Katzie, HURRAY! She made this incredible "carrot" patch. You had to dig through "dirt" to under a chocolate carrot. Plus, she made a cake beehive w/ actual honey you could pump out of it. Creative and tasty!

Possibly the best Top Chef episode ever! "Violet! Yr turning violet, Violet!"

Monday, September 19, 2011

Straight Ahead: The Future!

What's the best way to get rich? Hard work & living w/in yr means

Have you ever eaten anything that you once saw alive? Yes, SB & I went fishing in Mexico & had fish tacos on the beach

What creeps you out the most about clowns? The exaggerated makeup

Tell us your best or favorite garage sale or flea market find. Vintage lunch boxes! Or cheap Sweet Valley books. Or Seventeen magazines from the 1980s.

Who should get slapped on the wrist today? I have no idea

What do you need to accomplish this week? Successfully helped a client ...pretty proud of that actually

What's you best tip for online shopping? Sizes may vary

This was pretty random. Can you tell us something really random to end this week's meme with? Support a 4 day work week!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Something Missing

Today we ripped off a blogger and blog calledHighway Girl. We will do the forty question in two parts. She states that she shamelessly stole it from Rappy. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Lower 40 Meme, Part Two

Cheers to all of us thieves!

21) Have you ever flown a kite? Yes, there's a great picture of me w/ braids in Martha's Vineyard flying a kite...I think I was 10

22) Do you wish on your fallen lashes? I used to

23) Do you consider yourself successful? Hmmmm......not sure

24) When was the last time that you made an obscene phone call? I don't do that

25) Have you ever asked for a pony? No, I'm afraid of horses

26) Plans for tomorrow? Work & zumba

27) Can you juggle? Badly, so that would be a no

28) Missing someone now? Possibly

29) When was the last time you told someone "I love you"? Last night

30) And truly meant it? Obviously, I'm married!

31) How often do you drink alcohol? A few times a week

32) How are you feeling today? Right now, I'm tired. I wish I had slept more

33) Have you every tried to write a meme? No, I leave that to the professionals

34) Have you ever been fired from a job? NO!

35) What are you looking forward to? Columbus Day weekend

36) Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes, I had locked myself out of my apartment

37) What's the most recent bad meal that you had to endure? Bad, as in the food was bad? I got an awful sandwich from the cafeteria at my old job about 10 years ago. Bad, as in the company was bad? SB's estranged family last summer

38) Can you handle the truth? Always

39) Whose to blame for what's going on? That's a loaded one person should shoulder the responsibility of all the fucked up-edness

40) What will it take to fix it all up? A miracle

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Meat ya Later!

SexyBeast & I had a chance to check out the 4th Annual Festival of Meat. SB was in heaven! There was clams, pulled pork, suckling pig, steak & chicken wings. Plus an array of potato side dishes, corn on the cob & fried Twinkies. $25 for the whole lot.

SB was even more impressed the Elk's Club's bar, $3 for gin & tonic. He got THRASHED!

Overall, it was pretty good. I didn't have any of the porks or the clams and the steak could have been bloodier.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Pump w/ Me

Get yrself a shot of insulin, it's Top Chef recap time!

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants were greeted by former Top Chef Masters & homicidal maniac Hugh Acheson & had to make a dessert whose flavours would make a new & great flavour for Extra chewing gum. In addition, the winning cheftestant would get 25 g's and their tasty dessert as a new gum flavour. I just wrote the word flavour a whole mess o' times! Sucking it were Rebecca (WHO?) & her lackluster pannacotta, Cranky Pants Melissa & her coffee/banana/passionfruit pile of poop and Cutey Matthew's oatmeal raisin cookie. Damn, I hate oatmeal raisin! The winner was Craig's breakfast for dessert pancakes.....seriously? Pancake gum? Blllllaaaahhhhhh....

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants were once again divided into two groups. Enough w/ the group challenges!!! This time they had to cater a tea party for some botoxed rich bitch named Lisa Van Der Pump, she's flat out gross. Fortunately, every cheftestant I like was on the winning team. And packing it up was Nelson and his oversized cotton candy crap on a stick.

Post viewing thoughts: Melissa was picked last again & yet she can't seem to figure out why. Perhaps it's because yr an ego-centric argumentative bitch? Orlando is now out of the closet w/ his asshatery.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Grr! Argh!

We have a new edition in our house! We adopted our very own pet zombie. Herman seems to be getting along pretty well w/ Squeaky Kitty.

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Stillness

Today's Meme is about internet frustrations.
Simply answer the questions and vent.
Oh, and have fun too.

1. Is anything ever easy to do on the internet? What do you think is surprisingly easy to do online? No! Nothing is easy on the interwebs when yr me.

2. What should be the punishment for the person who invented this (captcha...btw...when is it ever that easy to read?)? Work at the DMV for breaks!

3. What is your secret name for the circle or the hourglass that comes up? I don't have one

4. What is the worst browser and what makes it so bad? All of them except Google.....Google Doodle 4 eva!

5. If we were to start an internet police, what law would you enact? Oh no, anarchy on the interwebs always

6. For violators of your law, what should the punishment be? There are no laws

7. And, the number one internet annoyance is? Everything...I live to be annoyed

8. The most frustrating thing on the internet is? Idiots on the boards

Gee whiz, that sucked!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Sticky Eyes

Today we ripped off a blogger and blog calledHighway Girl. We will do the forty question in two parts. She states that she shamelessly stolen from Rappy. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Lower 40 Meme, Part One

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1) Who is the last person you high-fived? My brother...I think

2) If you were drafted into a war, would you survive. Nope! I suck

3) Do you sleep with the TV on? No...there's not television in our bedroom

4) Have you ever drunk milk straight out of the carton? Yes, just once...I didn't see the appeal

5) Have you ever won a spelling bee? No but I have come close...very close

6) Have you ever been stung by a bee? Lots and lots of bees....there once was a fucking swarm of them in my apartment

7) How fast can you type? I don't know, I've never counted

8) Are you afraid of the dark? No, I prefer the dark

9) Eye color: green/grey/blue

10) Have you ever made out at a drive-in? I've never been to a drive-in

11) When was the last time you chose a bath over a shower? Nearly 4 years ago

12) Do you knock on wood? I knock on my head...I have a wooden head

13) Do you floss daily? Yes, it feels good

15) Can you hula hoop? No but I do have flexible hips

16) Are you good at keeping secrets? Mostly, mostly

17) What do you want for Christmas? SB is getting me a new tattoo...I need heavy duty winter boots

18) Do you know the Muffin Man? Yup, he lives on Drury Lane

19) Do you talk in your sleep? There is a distinct possibility that I do

20) Who wrote the book of love? Yr mother!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Sour Patch Kids

Top Chef recap time, kids!

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants had to make a fun innovative dessert showcasing the lemon. I love lemon desserts! Love love love them! My birthday is next month & Baker Mom is whipping up some lemon tarts for me. October 21st, don't forget! Anyways, Pouty Pants Award goes to Orlando because apparently, taste is not personal. What a brat! And, FYI Orlando, lemon & chocolate taste super shitty together. The winner was the cutie Matthew (and, along w/ Katzie, are becoming my personal faves in this competition) w/ his lemon vanilla creme w/ mint puree and hazelnut sable. Um...WOW!

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants were broken into teams AGAIN. Have I mentioned how much I dislike team challenges. Harumph! But I digress. The cheftestants had to make have to make a fancy cake to serve to 150 guests at the Disney Concert Hall's opening night. Each chefestant is responsible for their own layer of cake. Think extra fancy and decadent. Top Chef, please, you had me at cake. And Team Cutie Matthew wins! Though, they felt Matthew's cake was the least pleasing as it was too dense. Melissa the "see you next Tuesday" was recognized for her cardamom concoction. Word o' advice, Melissa. Stop being such a jerk! And packing it up was Van and his boring caramel pistachio dry mess.


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Love is Love

I had the queerest summer ever!

You too can purchase this lovely design @ here....she's an amazing talented artist w/ fantastic taste.

Monday, September 5, 2011

A Day of Rest

1. In your opinion, what does Labor Day mean to you? The end of summer, day off of work

2. How much was the minimum wage when you got your first job? $4.25

3. What was your first job- as in real actual employee- job? I sold crappy clothes at an Izod outlet on Wolf Rd next to Chi Chi's....which is now Romano's Macaroni Grill

4.What was the best job that you ever had? Zone Music and Video...I listened to CDs all day & got a 30% on everything

5. What was the worst job that you ever had? 6.5 years in a thankless soul sucking bullshit clerical job at a hospital

6. Describe your dream job. I used to dream about being a writer but lately I see myself climbing the non-profit ladder in a supervisory position

7. Who has the best job ever? The person that names all the colours for OPI

8. How do you usually celebrate Labor Day (or whatever holiday your location may have that is devoted to workers)? I don't celebrate it

Thanks for playing and have a great week!'

Sunday, September 4, 2011

The End of Summer

Today we ripped off a blogger named WonderGirl from the blogWonderGirl and The Sift She states that she snagged this from Mrs. Crumley, because she was lazy that day. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us atSunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The 20 Questions of Doom Meme

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Do you believe in Heaven? Yes I do. There has to be something more than this....too much pain & suffering in this plane of existence for there not to be an afterlife.

2. Have you ever come close to dying? I've been very ill but not even close to dying

3. What jewelery do you wear 24/7? My wedding band and ruby engagement ring

4. Would you ever consider having plastic surgery? HELL YEAH! Lipo this shit out!

5. What do you wear to bed? A smile

6. Have you ever done anything illegal? Yes, petty larceny, speeding, ingestion of mind altering substances

7. Who was the last person that you touched? SB

8. Where did you eat last? Popcorn

9. Besides your own blog, are there any that you routinely read but never comment on? Yes a few, can't think of the names off the top of my head though

10. Ever been involved with the police? Other than being pulled over for speeding? Nope

11. Do you talk in your sleep? Occasionally

12. Now a celebrity fantasy. Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend? Hugh Jackman & Moby

13. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life? So far, so good

14. Where do you wish you were? Someplace tropical

15. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? No

16. Is there any type of dancing that you love to do? Zumba & butt shaking

17. Last gift you received? Gift card to Target

18. Last sport you played? Kickball at the company picnic last month

19. Last place you went on holiday? Mini holiday to Boston

20. Current Song? "Pumped up Kicks"

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Once Upon a Sugar Coma

Wellity wellity wellity well well.....Top Chef: Just Desserts is back and it's bitchier than ever!

Lots of really arrogant rude pastry chefs this season. Get over yrselves!

And we jump right into a Quickfire Challenge. SIGH! For some unearthly reason, it was decided that each cheftestant needed to work in pairs. Why? Well at least we know who's going to be home w/in the 1st few episodes. Anyways, Gail & the gorgeous sexy amazing Johnny Iuzzini were at Ye Olde Sody Shoppe to judge the cheftestants elevated soda fountain traditional desserts. Sucking it were Oliver and Megan's not edgy enough banana split, team drama queens Craig and Lina's poopy not so Elvis raspberry crispie thing. And the wieners were Amanda & Nelson's pickled cherries and chocolate sponge cake...YUM.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants were randomly assigned to groups (AGAIN?!) to create two desserts & show piece w/ a fairy tale theme. As Amanda & Nelson won the Quickfire, they chose which group they wanted to work w/. The losers were Jack & the Beanstalk....Craig, you are a novice. If you don't know what yr doing, don't pretend that you do. Their show piece was a one dimensional ugly mess. AND also bringing up the rear was Hansel & Gretel. Hansel & Gretel!? Are you fucking kidding me?! They had the easiest one. What's his face (can't remember his name, oops) made a crap w/ pineapple. Pineapple is indigenous German forests obviously. But the biggest mistake was the show piece debacle. Lina insisted that it would too literal to have a gingerbread house in it. Dumbass. However, her teammate Melissa is a passive aggressive snot. Lina's crap cake sent her home.

Coming out on top for the 1st go around were Team Red Riding Hood....yummy sounding treats and a beautiful beautiful show piece.

Overall, great challenges but the cheftestants are meh. All kinda of blendy at this point.