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Monday, November 16, 2009


Very intense ponderings over at

You have a brain tumor. Though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionably kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation; the only downside is that there will be a brutal incision to your frontal lobe. After the surgery, you will be significantly less intelligent. You will still be a fully functioning adult, but you will be less logical, you will have a terrible memory, and you will have little ability to understand complex concepts or difficult ideas. The surgery is in two weeks.
How do you spend the next fourteen days? I wouldn't have that fucking surgery even if they paid me! I'd draw up a will so my precious possessions will have homes. Then go a tour of Europe. On the 14th day, I'd drink champagne and wash it down w/ some kick ass painkillers.

Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly.
What do you talk about? Music, everybody likes music. This wouldn't be a very large party. I'm just saying....

You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon.Which option do you select? Europe, obviously. Hopefully, I won't have a brain tumor.


Albany Jane said...

Wait a second, a dinner in your honor, with only ex boyfriends in attendance? Uh, creepy!

I'd also go for Europe. And besides, there's got to be some way to make some cash while there. Psshhh.

Dijea said...

1. I don't know what the F I would do.

2. I'd say thanks for coming and sit back with a glass of wine.

3. Europe no brainer.

Leslie said...

That first one hits waaaay too close to home.

Smirking Cat said...

Europe or...the moon? Wearing a frickin' space suit? Get real.

phairhead said...

AJ: i know! what an effed up question

les: i'm sorry : (

SC: i think only 10 y/o boys are interested in going to the moon