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Thursday, December 22, 2011

Big Game, Big Loser

Top Chef recap, y'all!

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants were greeted by Top Chef Masters alum Tim Love. Tim has a psychotic smile. It's creepy! The cheftestants had to pair a sipping tequila w/ a tasty dish. Sucking it hard core were Crotch Head Heather and her Chili's inspired poop-fest, Stupid Hair Accessory Chris and his dry chicken & Sarah's under cooked risotto. Sarah then bitched that risotto should be cooked al dente. News flash! Risotto should smooth & creamy, not hard & chunky. Winning a bucket of money (immunity is now off the table) was Ty and his spicy Thai flavoured clams.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants were assigned into pairs and had to make big game meat dishes. WITH A TWIST! The cheftestants had to taste each others dishes and select the 3 best & worst teams w/ one team going home. On a winning streak was Ty and Edward & their delicious delicious quail offering. I've never had quail but I'm very intrigued about it's flavour.  Sadly Dakota & Nyesha got chopped because Dakota under cooked her venison. Oy! Disappointed :-(

Heather is a C U Next Tuesday! She bullied Beverly, she yelled at Grayson, she thinks her shit does not stink. Please please please send her home, Top Chef Gods of Fate!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Fat Assing It

Holiday Christmas party at Lombardo's (home my second date w/ SB wherein he spilled water all over the table) & I accidentally ate eggplant parm. Eggplant is abhorrent. The texture is just so damn vile! However, Lombardo's does not fuck around w/ their parms. Not a hint of skin on the eggplant, sliced razor thin. Perfecto!

The ever awesome Albany Jane organized a spectacular evening w/ a grouping fantastic people at Sushi X. I'm not a seafood eater but I do enjoy going out. Plus if SB doesn't get sushi every few months, he turns into a crank monster. I had for the first time ever vegetarian sushi rolls: rice, seaweed, cucumber, peanuts & avocado. It tasted extra nummy slathered in horseradish.

Sushi X night was also SB's birthday. Free beer at Ye Olde English Pub for the birthday boy.
He drank a whole liter of Foster's!

Central Steak = salad bar, garlic mashed potatoes. SB got a hanger steak w/ a fried egg. And he was especially happy that PBR was on the drink menu.

Saturday was a pre-Hanukkah celebration w/ my brother & his family. Sis-in-law made chocolate cake w/ chocolate filling and chocolate chips. KICK ASS!

Zumba, yr my only hope!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

This is what I'm Talking about!

Today we ripped off a blogger named Tom Baker from the blog Morning Erection. (Tom points out that you shouldn't read much into his blog's name. It's a great blog.) This is an original meme and it's very first time posted. Tom asked us to rip it off and of course we are grateful! Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Community Meme

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. As a blogger, what do you draw inspirations from for your posts? From my awesome thoughts

2. If you could swap blogs with another blogger for a post, who would you switch with and why? Sophia Walker, she's bad ass!

3. If your blog had a theme song, what would it be? Why? WOW! Great question, "Supernova" by Liz Phair. #1 she's one my absolute favourite musical artists #2 it's a fucking kick ass in yo' face song

4. What is your writing process for a post? I just go. I don't prepare, I don't have posts pre-written and perfected.

5. Your blog requires a cute, new, mascot - what would it be? Squeaky the Kitty

6. Do you feel you express your "true self" on your blog? Completely!

7. What is your biggest online pet-peeve? Ignorance and apathy

8. If you could live in a fictional universe, where would you live? Why? Hogwarts because I'm magical

9. You're having a bad day, you're upset, you're angry, or you're sad - what is your go-to comfort? Food, loud music, sex

10. What is your favorite inspirational quote? "Though under Earth and throneless now I be, Yet, While I lived all Earth was under me." C.S. Lewis

11. If they were to make a movie based on your life, who would play you, your leading lady/man, your best friend, and your rival? Me: Kate Winslet (w/ red hair) SB: Glen Danzig Friend: Ellen Page ENEMY: Sandra Bullock (she's the worst!)

12. Do you think the world is going to end in 2012? No, that's irrational and stupid

13. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? My ugly disgusting gut

14. What is your favorite season and why? Summer because I love the heat and swimming and ice cream

15. You've been bitten by a vampire. Would you fight it with all your undead being or would you embrace it for all it is worth? No, I would be a truly evil vampire

16. Have you personally met any of your blogger friends? Yes, a few

17. What does your favorite pair of underwear look like? Fuchsia w/ orange polka dots

18. Have you ever drank something right from the container in the refrigerator knowing other people will have to drink out of the same container later? No, I don't drink out of containers

19. What is your favorite word and explain why?

20. 2011 is soon coming to a close, is there anything you'd like to do different on your blog in the year 2012? Post more!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Shady Lady

I did not watch the Top Model finale because it looked like it was going to be a mess......AND boy was I right!

Angelea was mysteriously disqualified. Lisa was re-crowned the winner. Why? She photographs 50.....blergh!

Allison Allison Allison, always the bridesmaid never the bride! Why? Oh why? She's gorgeous, she has a unique look and she's able to use multisyllabic words in a sentence.

Farewell, Top Model, until March.


Top Chef recap time!

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants were assigned a mother sauce , expand upon it & make a dish. Insert sauce pun here. The losers were Dakota (awww!) and her too sweet peach infused bechamel, Nyesha's muddled tomate and ras el hanout & Bev's espagnole wasabi. Bev, enough w/ the Asian style...branch out, take chances! Winning immunity was Grayson's hollandaise and scallops. Nice!

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants had to work together to create a four course dinner featuring moo moo cow steak. Ty-lor cut the webbing of his hand whilst butchering meat. I gotta tell ya, this was the most boring uninspiring menu ever. Heather won w/ Ed's tres leches cake. Heather is a stealth bitch because #1 she's already made this cake for the quincenera challenge #2 she called out Bev for spending too much time & energy on shrimp AND she did this in the stew room right before judging. I'm no Bev fan but DAMN that's passive aggressive. And I can't believe she won this week! BLAH! And packing it up was Whitney's crap potatoes au gratin. Goodbye, Whitney! We hardly knew ye.....and that's the damn truth because everytime she came on screen, I was all, "Who dat?"

Maybe next week the cheftestants will be more creative.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

What's all this then?

Today we ripped off a blogger and blog calledBlueLifeMemories. It's long so we will do it in two parts. She states she stole it from a friend, but did not say which friend. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Blue Memory Meme, Part Two

Cheers to all of us thieves!

26) Are you happy with the person you've become? Definitely! I no longer lay awake at night questioning my place in the universe.

27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? I hate the sound of animals whimpering, it makes me emotional. I love the sound of waves crashing.

28) What's your biggest "what if"? What if the new merger turns us all into mindless slaves.

29) Do you believe in ghosts? Nope. Once yr dead, yr dead.

30) How about aliens? I suppose it's possible that there are other life forms out there.

31) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Moving back to NYS

32) What's the worst place you have ever been to? SUNY New Paltz circa 1995 or my degrading mind 4 years ago.

33) Can insanity bring on more creativity? I don't believe so

34) Most attractive actor of your opposite gender? Hugh Jackman, he is perfect!

35) To you, what is the meaning of life? 42

36) Define “Art”. I couldn't possibly! Everything is art, that's a very simplistic explanation though.

37) Do you believe in luck? Yes

38) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Honesty, communication, attraction

39) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? "Say Hey (I Love you) by Michael Franti & Spearhead. You have to smile when you listen to it, it's physically impossible not to do so.

40) Where were you yesterday? My house, my parents' house, Target, Marshall's, Hannaford, my in-laws' house, Walmart

41) What's the worst injury you've ever had? I cracked my skull open when I was 3. I kept rocking back and forth in my chair and my father said "Don't do that or you'll fall." The words were still hanging in the air when I toppled backwards & my head bounced off a drawer pull and slammed to the floor.

42) Do you have any obsessions right now? Rankin/Bass, Community, this web site, Teen Mom 2, cute dresses that will show off my gams

43) What's up? The sky

44) Ever had a rumor spread about you? I believe there was one going around in high school that I was a lesbian

45) Do you believe in real magic? It would be so awesome if it really existed but I know it does not.

46) Do you ever hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? I am the 3 time winner of the Golden Grudge Belt.

47) What's your favorite (non-pet) animal? Octopi

48) What is your secret weapon to get people to like you? My charm & smile :D

49) Where is your best friend? VT

50) What do you think is Satan's last name? He doesn't have one

Saturday, December 10, 2011

My World is Beginning

I am a sufferer of depression and it gets progressively worse during the winter months. But one thing that keeps me going: Rankin/Bass Christmas specials. To date, I own all the ones available on DVD. I'm still waiting for The First Christmas Snow, Little Drummer Boy Part II, Jack Frost and The Life & Times of Santa Claus to be released. FINGERS CROSSED FOR NEXT YEAR!

Obviously, most people know and love "Rudolph" & "Santa" but included on my compilation DVDs are some lesser known productions. "Little Drummer Boy" is awesome because it includes a death by stabbing and fire scene.

"Nestor the Long Eared Donkey" isn't bad but the ending is ridiculous. The story goes that there was a little donkey w/ ears so long they drag on the ground and he trips over them all the time. The only thing protecting him from being euthanized is Nestor's mother. A bunch of Roman centurions come and take all the donkeys except for Nestor. But he gets the boot because his owner has lost money and help on his farm. Nestor miraculously reunites w/ his mother and then she promptly dies during a snow storm. Nestor and his guardian angel, Tilly, travel to Bethlehem so that Nestor can carry Mary, Joseph and unborn baby Jesus to the stable. Nestor's ears even act as sail on the water! Then, for some unknown reason, Nestor goes back to the farm and he's treated like a hero. What the what? How would his former owner know about Nestor and baby Jesus? Why do the other animals no longer despise his very being?

"Cricket on the Hearth" just plain sucks monkey balls! Marlo Thomas is "Bertha" and she has the world's most annoying voice EVER. And for some reason a shifty eyed sailor shoots a crow. Not to mention it has nothing to do w/ Christmas at all. Hans Conreid is the only saving grace.

Check out my awesome bookcase.

The Burgermeister Meisterburger is crashing the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer party. And Yukon Cornelius is letting him know that BM is not welcome!

Santa is trying to wave his dick around the two Bumbles but they're going to rip his head off. And I found out why Bumble has been so persecuted.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

So so Wrong

Top Model is a train wreck and I gawking at the carnage.

I can barely recap this dreck!

*sigh* The four remaining hamsters had to write a travel blog for Allison is clearly the most articulate & a free lance writer BUT was deemed to "high flautin'". BLERGH! Angelea won the challenge because she went to the Greek ghetto. Oh, the tourism board of Greece must be loving this!

For the photo shoot, Tyra(nt) directed a pseudo artsy bullshit video. THE WORST!

Laura's country charm finally wore then and she was sent a-packing.

I want Allison to win but it will most likely be a horse race between old lady Lisa and drag queen Angelea

Folksy yet Progressive

Top Chef recap, y'all!

The cheftestants were informed that were on the road to Dallas. And no, Beverly, Dolly Parton is not from Dallas. Ms. Parton is from the Smokies.

En route to their desitination, the cheftestants were pulled over by the local good ol' boys. How dumb are these cheftestants? They honestly thought they were in trouble w/ the law....SHEESH! Anyways, the cops directed everyone to an empty cornfield where it was revealed that their Quickfire ingredients were in their trunks. Survival kit meals! Basically canned foods. AND no utensils. I object to this Quickfire! How can anyone make a tasty, nice looking plate of food w/ shit from a can? BOO!
The stinkers: Whitney and her tinny tin tinned food, Dakota and her too sweet stir fry & Chiclets Chris tofu disaster. Winning immunity and some dough was Lindsay and her Vienna sausage Saltine club sandwiches.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants were then trucked out to an affluent suburb and divided into apps, entrees and desserts to be served at a progressive dinner. A progressive dinner is when each part of a meal is eaten different houses in a neighborhood. I find this idea so intriguing! Did it originate in the 70's along w/ key parties? The hosts and hostesses were a bunch of vapid wealthy idiots. You could totally tell that Tom Colicchio thought so as well.

So far, the cheftestants have been outstanding or awful. No middle ground whatsoever. Winning dish went to Paul's appetiser of fried Brussels sprouts w/ grilled prosciutto. OH MY GOD YES YES YES!!! And packing it up was Chuy's over cooked salmon & feta crap in a corn husk.

And please, cheftestants, no more foods that look like mouldy ashy cigars.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Today we ripped off a blogger and blog calledBlueLifeMemories. It's long so we will do it in two parts. She states she stole it from a friend, but did not say which friend. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Blue Memory Meme, Part One

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? I just want to be better

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Sutan Amrull, I'm pretty sure we'd be awesome friends

3) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? London

4) What do you think about most? Writing, love, dying

5) You have the opportunity to spend a romantic night with the music celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Moby, he seems like a really solid kisser

6) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? All of my car accidents

7) What's your strangest talent? Being awesomely creative

8) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? I'm not afraid to answer anything

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? YES and they were awful

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? I've never played air guitar....very lame

11) Do you have any strange phobias? Yes, red eyes in horror movies freaks me the fuck out!

12) What's your religion? I was raised Catholic, I believe in God but I don't belong to an organized religion

13) What is your current desktop picture? What ever came w/ the computer

14) When you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking

15) What's the last song you listened to? "Rocket Boy" by Liz goddess

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? WOW! So challenging.....The Clash

17) What was the last lie you told? I don't tell lies

18) Do you believe in karma? Perhaps....though I know a lot of evil awful people & it does not come back to bite them in the ass.....sooooo

19) What is a saying you say a lot? I'm partial to "Awesome sauce"

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Laziness/creativity

21) Who is your celebrity crush? Peter Sellers, don't care if he's dead

22) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart. Beat

23) How do you vent your anger? Screeching

24) Do you have a collection of anything? lunchboxes, books

25) What is your favorite word? Awesome question!!! As of right now I like "luminous"

Thursday, December 1, 2011

T-Boz, Chili & Left Eye

Top Chef recap time...a day late.

The chestestants were greeted by Padma (of course!) & Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feninger of Top Chef: Masters. Mary Sue & Susan own and cook in a very successful Mexican grill. So, yum! For Quickfire challenge, the cheftestants could choose from an array from chili peppers from the mild poblano to the nuclear fire of the ghost chili & create a tasty dish. The hotter the chili the more money it's worth to the winning dish PLUS immunity. Sucking it were Beverly because she didn't cook anything (chopped chilies w/ dressing is a salad for fuck's sake!), Richie's not hot scallop & Chuy's tinned tomato overload. Winning the ducats and immunity was Paul and his ghost chili chilled coconut soup. Super yum!

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants were randomly split into 5 teams of three *slams head into wall* for a chili cook off for 200 guests at the rodeo. The guests chose the winning team while the judges had the nasty task of giving someone the boot. As a twist, there was no time limit, the cheftestants were allowed to stay up all night if they wanted to. And they all did....which I don't entirely understand because once the meat and the veggies are in the pot yr done cooking....but what do I know, I'm not a professional cheftestant. Also, none of the chilis contained beans of any sort. It's a Texas thing, no beans in the chili. Boo! The beans are the best part.

The winning team was Chiclets teeth Chris, blowhard Sarah & Chuy's chili con carne w/ roasted corn garnish. Honestly, I don't think the judges would have chosen this chili because of the thin texture & lack of dunking implement.

Losing team was Nyesha, Richie & Beverly's too sweet chili mole...though their cornbread got rave reviews. AGAIN a twist: the three losers had to cook head to head using their failed chili and make a great new dish. In the end, Richie made a bad plate of food, cried like a little girl w/ a skinned knee and was gently comforted by hair accessory Chris.

Hmm chili!