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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Rambling Rambles

It's Tuesday and it feels like Thursday. Meh, I don't feel like writing a proper blog. I'm tired and restless. And I'm sorry that this year I'm not working for Catholic Charities as I would have a 4 day weekend this week. Oh well, that's what happens when you switch working to a non-denominational non-profit.

I really liked reading "Julie & Julia" by Julie Powell. Though, I did find Julie a bit of a narcissistic and selfish. And it turns out, I was right. She wrote a f/u memoir book about cheating on her husband and being really unrepentant about it. Jerk!

I'm really ticked off that I'm all caught up on "Weeds" and it won't be returning until August.

Sexybeast has been in Hotlanta for 3 days and I'm forcing myself to stay awake to pick him up at the airport at 11:30. Soooooo sleepy......

I need to get out of my rut!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Bytes and Bits

How do you feel about couples that share an email address? IDK, my parents show an e-mail address but they're older and my mother is afraid of technology so......

How open about your life are you in the various online arenas? I think I'm about 90% open about me. No smut talk though ;0)

On average, how many hours a week do you spend online? Do you think it's too much? Ummmmm.....8 or 10. Which is about normalish, I think

1) Where and when was the last rainbow you noticed? Sexybeast and I were somewhere and I said, "Hey look! It's a rainbow."

2) Do you plan to add to or change your garden this summer? This is the 1st year we able to garden. We're going to plant lots of veggies, I'm in charge of the herbs.

3) What's the most wonderful thing that has happened to you recently? I can't think of anything.......

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "Just call me angel in the morning, angel."

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Fatty Fatty

So, it's the end of first 4 weeks of boot camp work out. I've diligently been keeping a food diary. And, man, when you are staring at the words, "I drank a lot of cider and lambic. I have no idea how much.", it really makes you reflect on what you've been shoving down yr cake hole.

Class doesn't get any easier, I sweat, swear and force myself to lunge walk across the elementary school gymnasium. I try not to compare myself to the younger women in the class that are much better shape I.

The "drill instructor" informed the class that there we wouldn't see much of a difference in 4 weeks. But my calves and thighs are much more toned, which is fabulous. However, my big fat gut is still around and I have zits all my back, behind my ears and the top of my head. Sounds attractive, no?

I also found out that my caloric intake should not exceed 1875. 1875 calories per day! It's going to be an impossible task.

Onward to the next excruciating 4 weeks....

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Thunks n' Drunks

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Berleen, the color of nothing, and the number one.

1. I got nothing. What should I ask next week? Although I think Kimber should do it next week. Somehow. All the questions should be in Spanish.

2. Wind chimes - annoying or not? I like wind chimes.

3. Camping - camper or tent? Tents aren't so bad but campers are warmer.

4. Told ya I got nothing. This really sucks. I should have had Bud do this, huh? Maybe....

5. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? S, as in Sue, Super and Sexy

6. So this week my kid had to type a research paper for English.... then she had to email it to her teacher! Is that not just the oddest thing ever? Blew my mind away. Typed up, printed and e-mailed? HUH?

7. Wow. These questions suck. They suck bad. Do you like to suck through straws? For what type of beverages? Cocktails and chocolate milk

8. What do you do with your cell phones when you do those wonderful "upgrades" to the newer, fancier phones? I have an iPhone, I'll never need an upgrade.....ever.

9. It's allergy season - unless you've completely missed all the people walking around with kleenexs stuck to their nose... what are you allergic to? Maple trees and dust.

10. What did you sleep with as a child? Mr. Blankie and a thousand stuffed animals.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Walk About

Top Model Recap Time!

Now I apologize, I missed the photo shoot because I lost track of time. So the chicks had to pose w/ AN accessory in the nude. I tuned in just in time for the judging. And Miss Jay Alexander has stepped down as a judge and in his place we have Andre Leon Tally. ALT, y'all!!! I fucking love him. For those of you not in the know, ALT is the editor-in-large at Vogue. He's the real deal, peeps! Winning photo of the week went to Jessica, one of the 3 chicks in this season of Top Model that has a kid out of wedlock. IDK, she's an attractive brunette, she doesn't do much for me. And packing it up was Gabrielle, who reminded me of a biracial Shelly Duval, but was a mess in front of the camera.

Walking lessons w/ Miss Jay. And I have decided I prefer Miss Jay off the judges' panel. And it's all about learning to take off coats on the runway and then, HEY, let's have the hamsters practice their runway walks in the middle of a busy intersection. Oy, I love the insanity! For the challenge, the hamsters had to walk down a runway and time it so the GIGANTIC swinging pendulums don't knock them into New Jersey. Most the chicks did really well except for Alexandra, the plus size gal for this season. First, she falls down the stairs leading to the runway. Then she gets CLOBBERED by a pendulum. Sexybeast says, "Oh man! Too bad she didn't get hit twice!" The winner was my redhead Brenda, she looked really statuesque.

Then there was all kinds of drama at the house. Ren, my lovely waif, had a realization that being on Top Model means you have to hang out w/ pretty, obnoxious idiots. I can sympathise, however, it was not a good idea to scream at Alasia to shut the fuck up. Then she screamed at Ren. It was bananas!

Over on the other side of the house, Naduah, the bald hottie, was spewing a bunch of lies. She modeled in Mexico but didn't make any money, turned down an offer to pose in Playboy and is married to Mr. Gorgeous Black Model. Lies, lies, all lies! Fucking weirdo.

At the photoshoot, it was an exercise in humiliation. Personally, I think Tyra Banks is sadist. The chicks had to pose w/ this idiotic perfume that sprays on purple while the crew blasted high force fans on them. Really stupid. Plus, where the hell is fabulous diva makeup artist Sutan? I sooo want to be his fag hag! And winning photo went to Raina w/ the gigantic furry eyebrows. Meh. I don't know what the judges see in her. And packing it up was Naduah because she wears too much makeup and her poses are contrived.

And the journey has begun....

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


As per usual, we had a fabulous weekend, only to be thwarted by Monday.

Friday night Sexybeast and I went to visit my oldest brother and his family. My oldest niece is going to be 10 soon. 10! My Zozo Beans is turning into a young lady. Awww!

Saturday was Eat-Fest 2010. We had lunch w/ Albany Jane, her husbear and fellow food blogger Nicole (whom Sexybeast had casually dated before me! But it wasn't weird and SB totally has a type) at Aashiana for the lunch buffet. Now normally, I am not a fan of buffets, I like my food how I like it and I want it hot. But this was fucking exceptional!!! Sexybeast must have eaten 30 samosas. And, of course, I had to have kheer, Indian rice pudding. It was such a fun, relaxing afternoon. Plus 7 bucks person, perfecto!

And we continued the gorging at Sexybeast's friends' house for "boiled dinner". They bought 20 corned beefs for 11 people. Yeah, I know what yr gonna say. The highlight of the evening was playing games, Catchphrase, Left Right Center, Apples to Apples & Taboo. I freaking love game night! We so rarely get to play any games anymore :( If anybody is up for game night, send me an e-mail!

Sunday we trekked to Lowe's for gardening supplies. Sexybeast has a green thumb whereas I could drown a cactus. But I'm great weeder. So, I purchased a mini "greenhouse" to grow herbs, basil, catnip and mint. I'm really excited because it's basically similar to growing paper whites, no muss, no fuss. And Sexybeast decided to get a jump start on the peppers.

Nummy veggies for the season :D

Monday, March 22, 2010


What do you value most in other people? Sincerity. I can't stand fucking fake, smarmy motherfuckers!

If you could only see black and white except for one color, what color would you choose to see? Green, my favourite colour.

You have a 10 minute speech to give at a high school, what is it about? How fucking awesome The Beatles are!!!!!

Monday, Alas!

1) What do you absolutely have to do today? Go to work!

2) What habit is the next one you need to kick? Picking at my cuticles, it's disgrossting, I know.

3) Where is the next place you will be taking a trip? I'm not sure, Montreal perhaps. Somewhere we can drive to.

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "Heist!"

Thursday, March 18, 2010


Some days I like the social work scene, I get excited when a plan comes together and the big pay off for my client leaving behind her abusive partner.

However, I have an itching to begin writing a new story. I still have a big steaming pile of shit to clean up from NaNoWriMo, so there's something there, just trying to get up enough motivation to make it into something worth reading.

Other days, I think it would be neat to be a travel writer but who would take care of my beloved cat/child substitute, Squeaky. I like music, I could be a critic, just as long as I had a thesaurus because I tend to use the same adjective over and over. I still have big dreams of writing my diner book but I'm trying to lose weight.

So, it appears that I am "stuck" working in human services for the time being.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Back on the Hamster Wheel

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Top Model is back, y'all!

OK so here's the problem. Yet again the makeovers were done in the first epi. Blah! AND And and they made the 1st epi a "cliffhanger". So we were left w/ "you have to pose w/ accessories....In. The. NUDE!"

Early faves: Naduah, she looks like Sinead O'Connor, Brenda, my fellow redhead and Ren, totally reminds me of Karen O. LOOOVVVEEE!

This season opener was all filler and no killer.

Monday, March 15, 2010

More More More

How did you decide to live where you do? After searching all summer for the perfect house.

Do you like risks, or do you avoid them? What major risks have you taken in your life? I hate change but I feel all the better for jumping blindly into the oblivion. Sexybeast, moving back to NY, changing jobs.

If you had to choose, which could you live without: TV, the internet, a telephone or friends? Phone.

A Case of the Mondays

1) Where in your life are you most likely to cut corners? Paying bills.

2) Has there ever been a decision that you made that you thought was right at the time, but now see was probably the wrong choice? Replacing the tranny for a 2nd time in the Kia.

3) Do others in your life have unrealistic expectations of you? Nope.

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "Once upon a time,..."

Sunday, March 14, 2010

I am Grounded, I am Humble, I am One w/ Everything

This is a scene from the wine/whine party I went to Friday night. If you know me, then you know I have extreme social anxiety. So the prospect of going to a party where I only knew the host, made me feel queasy and tense.

It was girls only, so Sexybeast was left to his own devices (pizza & Left for Dead IV). And I ended up having a fabulous time, chatting and mingling and drinking the white stuff. There was also hot toddies.

For nibbles there was chana masala, chickpeas and potatoes in a smoldering curry sauce. There was beef vindaloo which I did not partake because I feel in love w/ the chicken korma. There was also plenty of jasmine rice on hand. My friend Andrea had back up rice in her secondary rice cooker.

Today is Sexybeast and mine 2 year anniversary. We went to Alice in Wonderland last night and it was hauntingly beautiful and morbid and disturbing. I loved it! Except for the gay ass dancing. I decided to keep my 3D specs, the first shot of me looking German.

Check out the sweet new wallet Sexybeast gave me!

We headed over to the Stockade Inn for dinner. It's the place where we're getting married and we wanted to check out the grub. I had an amazing chopped salad w/ avocados, prime sirloin (BLOODY), broccolini (which I've never had before and it soooo delicious) and mashed potatoes. Sexybeast went w/ surf n' turf, bloody prime strip steak and lobster tails. The best part was the dessert, as it was Saturday night, the pastry chef was trying to get rid of everything in the kitchen to start fresh on Sunday. Sexybeast ended up w/ a quarter of cheesecake and I had a gigantic slab of peanut butter pie. Which we ordered to go, so we could drink and watch Start Trek and snuggle.

Leonard Nimoy is the fucking shit! And Zachary Quinto wasn't half bad either.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Thunk This!

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Berleen, the color of opals, and the number a thousand more than last week.

1. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Ohhh tough choice, definitely a 3 way tie between oatmeal chocolate chip w/ walnuts, Thin Mints and chocolate macadamia nut.

2. If a birds wing falls asleep, does it hurt when it tries to flap it's wings or does that make it feel better? Bird wings don't fall asleep.

3. Water - tab, bottle, filtered or....??? I'm fine w/ tap.

4. Would you (or do you) have a stripper pole installed in your home? Maybe when we re-do the attic....

5. Do you still have any Christmas decoration up? NOOOOO!!!! Halloween decorations, yes.

6. What brand of camera do you have? A Power Shot, my Christmas gift from Sexybeast.

7. Why do paint colors have weird names? So paint colour namers can keep their jobs.

8. Which toe is your favorite and which foot is it on? I don't have a fave toe but my fave foot is tattooed.

9. What would you do if a celebrity sneezed in your face? I would be completely grossed out. Germs is germs.

10. If a stranger came to your door and asked for a glass of water, would you give it to them? Depends. "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet."

11. The government has asked that you pick the newest national holiday - what is it? Lady Gaga Day, everyone puts on bubble dresses and says enigmatic things and takes E and dances all night.

12. How many toothpicks could you fit into a beer can? 20

13. Whats the weirdest excuse you ever gave for missing school or work...or heck, even a social function, date, whatever? Oho, no need for that. I'm a good liar.

14. Can we stop now? Sure, now is a good stopping point.

Monday, March 8, 2010

It's Monday

Were you considered popular in high school? Why or why not? Holy cow, NO! I was a geeky metal chick.

How old are you in your dreams? The age I am now.

Did you ever run away from home? Why or why not? When I was 4, I tried to walk to my grandmother's house. She lived 15 miles away and I planned on walking there. I got as far as my parents' front steps.

Meow Meow

1) Have you ever had a friend date someone you couldn't stand? How did you handle that? Hmmmm..... I can't think of a time when this has ever occurred.

2) Among all your close friends, who is the cutest? Awww don't make me choose. I would take Cris' cute button nose, Andie's little apple bottom, Lydia's eyes, Michelle's smile and Albany Jane's va va voom hips.

3) Do you have someone wrapped around your finger? Or are you wrapped around someone else's finger? Nyah, I don't play those games. I was at the Junkie's beck and call though :(

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "You're a supernova!"

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Weekend Hijinks

So Sexybeast and I just got back from a weekend trip from Hadley/Amherst Mass area. We go to Trader Joe's a few times a year but I got sick of the 2 hours of driving JUST to get there.

I booked a hotel room from, Holiday Inn Xpress. Queen sized bed, swimming pool, a gym and free breakfast w/ complimentary paper. It was great for the price, however, we didn't know there was darkening shades on the window sooooo the parking lot lights shone in our room all night. And the toilet clogged because it was a shitty low flow. And the breakfast was really really average.

This is the best tasting seltzer ever! Sexybeast and I stopped at little organic pizza place on Route 9, they even have gluten free and vegan/vegetarian choices as well. Sexybeast had a pepperoni pizza and the pepperonis were HUGE, like the stuff you can buy at the deli. I had a yummy turkey pannini.

We checked into the hotel and much to our dismay, there was no mini fridge. Sexybeast ended up having the rest of his pizza around midnight. Hee!

After check in, we wandered around the quaint New England town of Amherst. I wasn't really feeling the used books at the school bookstore. But I got some great finds at Newbury comics; a ton of new postcards for the fridge, a Kimya Dawson CD, a book about the Brat Pack movies and 2 new buttons for my Pixies hoodie. Even though, it was a beautiful spring day, it started to get cold as the sun went down. We settled into the Monkey Bar for drinks and quiet time before dinner. And as it turns out, parking meters on not free on the weekends. I ended up w/ a $10 parking ticket. Boo!

As we were leaving, a nice older couple suggested a really great upscale Italian place, Carmelina's. I had most of huckleberry "martini", until it accidentally spilled to the floor. Oops! We skipped the apps because of the drinks. Sexybeast had shrimp scampi over linguini. The shrimps were GIGANTIC. I had the lamb shank, braised so long that I didn't need a fork, with saffron risotto, and mixed veggies. Delicious!

After a quick swim in the pool, I forced myself to stay awake to see one song of Vampire Weekend performing on SNL.

We got some great finds at Trader Joe's, low fat queso dip and a sack of blood oranges (amongst many other delicious things).

Can't wait for our next mini weekend get away.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

1. No matter what's going on in your life, what always makes you smile? Not to be all sappy but Sexybeast.

2. What's the biggest lie you've ever told? I don't do that shit!

3. Do you hold a grudge? I am the 3 time Golden Grudge champion

4. What is the worst job you've ever had? I worked at an arts n' crafts store for a militant lesbian nazi bitch for 2 months.

5. What would be your dream job? Travel/food writer.

6. What is the happiest event you've experienced? So far, getting engaged was pretty fucking awesome :D

7. What is the saddest thing you've experienced? My grammy dying of lung cancer. Don't smoke, kids!

8. Do you tend to exaggerate or underestimate? I exaggerate at least 100 times a day.

9. List the cars that you have owned. Give us just a few words about each one. 3 Dodge Omnis, I crashed 2 of them up. The 3rd one went to the trash heap. Gold Reliant K, I ran that sucker 'til it could run no more. An awesome Buick Century that I bought from my father, the first car I ever owned that had a tape deck. I had that bad boy from 1998 to 2003. My Kia was the first car I ever bought that was relatively new, my first care payment too. And now I have my Honda. It'll be paid off in 3 years. Did I mention that it's an 8 y/o car?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Thunk Machine

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Bud, the color of Australian Money, and the number 333.

Did you see that? We have a guest blogger this week!!!!

1. Someone knocks on your door. You have not seen this person in years. You were once great friends. Who would you like it to be and why? Tyson and he wants to tell me he's getting divorced. I promptly slam the door in his face.

2. What do you think would be a great song title that isn't one? Who do you want to record it? Waterless Flood by Radiohead

3. You are having a party. If I'm invited, what should I bring? Good conversation

4. If your spouse or s/o cheated with a one night stand while away, would you really want to know? No!

5. How long does it take for a house guest to drive you bonkers? 3 days

6. If you could pick a new color for the sky, what would you pick? Orange

7. What did you think of the Olympics? I didn't watch one single blessed event.

8. Could TT have thought of a lamer blogger that me to guest host? Sure, there's a crazy cop's wife out there that's in love w/ Rush Limbaugh

9. What's the stupidest lie that someone really thought you'd believe? I may be married but I still love you.

10. What was the best day you had in high school? Tell us about it. In 9th grade, when we had wellness day. I had a palm reading class w/ my friend Andie.

11. Name something that you have in your home that you are sure most people don't. A healthy sense of irony.

12. Why haven't you at least tried to play The Dating Profile Meme? I'm engaged, you perv!

13. Do you think homophobia is a choice? Yes, absolutely.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Fairies Wear Boots

My 1st day of boot camp was today. I did 17 sit ups in 2 minutes. Not bad considering I haven't done a sit up since high school (I think!)

I have to keep a food journal of every morsel of food and non water beverages I shove into my cake hole.

I feel uninspired, unmotivated and FAT. Not a good frame of mind to attempt to lose 25 pounds.

We'll see at the end of 8 weeks.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Wishes and Dreams

If you could invite any five people to your birthday party, who would they be? 5 really good friends. Orrrrrr..... Margaret Cho, Tom Waits, Kate Bush, Jasper Fford, and Hilary Clinton.

What birthday has been your favorite so far? What about it made it special? 19 was a really good year, I felt loved and accepted and I was at an ideal weight. Last birthday was exceptional as well for the same reasons except I'm fat now.

What one thing are you craving today? The ability to see myself clearly.


1) How often do you take the easy way out of a situation? 99% of the time. I'm a terrible, lazy person.

2) Where do you feel the most free? My home or my car.

3) What is your prediction for the Next Big Thing? [technology, medicine, or any other field--you pick] Flying cars! Flying cars!

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "Attention, K-Mart shoppers!"