Total Pageviews

Monday, May 25, 2009

Meme #170 Play along and of course comment, question, etc.

1) What is the most unerotic part of the human body? The elbow, especially when it's all dry and cracked. A little Olay or Vaseline does a body good!

2) What single word best describes you? Complicated.

3) If you had to choose between them, would you rather vacation in the mountains or near a lake? Lake! Always and forever. I think I might have been a fish in a past life.

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. Sheesh! If only it were that easy.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I am Cornholio!

Final epi of this cycle's Top Model. I have no idea how I fill my recap Wednesday slot : ( Please send me suggestions!

The final epis are all the same. Crappy Covergirl commericial hawking their crappy products. First elimination was Aminat for not being able to be pretty in photographs. Kinda important when yr a model.

Then the Runway Walk of Doom! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Allison and Teyona had to walk w/ ridiculous head pieces. No sweat. Then they had to incorporate salsa dancing into their second trip round. Oh, Allison did better than Teyona! And for the final look, it was "art instillation". Or as Sexybeast would say "Is that supposed to be avant garde? That's just weird." The hamsters were coated in slime and writhing around on the cat walk. Oops Teyona lost her weave! And the winner is Bevis Caught in a Wind Tunnel. Poor Allison! But really she has a better shot of a real modeling career than real winner.

Back w/ more Top Model in September, y'all!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Red Hot Mama

Even though, I've some more major car drama, I'm trying not to succumb to the blues. I bought some super cute new brown wedgie sandals at Marshall's (T.J. Maxx's doppelganger) on sale for 15 bucks. I've been painting my nails every week. I put on my prairie girl skirt on today and I walked down the stairs singing "A Pretty Girl". And here's another absolute truth: I feel it, I believe it. I am a smoking hot babe : )

And the icing on the cake, I treated myself to a salon day. Cut, colour and wax. And boy did I need that wax, I was starting to look like a Greek man. And for the first time ever, I got some fuchsia hair extensions, just a subtle hint of wowness.

Look out world, I'm gonna make it after all...... and look like a goddess to boot.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Monday Randomness

Happy Meme Day! Comment and enjoy.

1) Which person have you taken the most advantage of? Nobody. I'm not a sick, manipulative person.

2) When was the last time you went to a carnival and played midway games? Wowie wow! It seems like forever ago. Which is a shame as I loves me some Skee-Ball. It's been so long, I can't remember.

3) If you could rid your family of one thing, what would it be? The uncertainty of their financial futures.

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. Using the stupid Dell, ergo no picture can be pasted. Go and check it out at "Piss Christ!"

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Absolute Truth

Warning: This is a completely stream of consciousness piece of writing.

My depression has kicked in with the force of a jack boot against  gypsy's skull. Doubts and paranoia swirling in my mind, making me feel inadequate and worthless. Why should anyone care about me? My boyfriend can see right through me, he's going to leave me.

I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. Shouldn't I have a thicker skin? Nobody wants to listen to me whine about my pathetic doubts and fears.

The absolute truth is I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm taking the civil service exam in a few weeks and I'm going spare. I want to do well, I need a better job as Sexybeast and I are trying to buy a house. I'm in complete job finding mode right now.

The other issue is I don't know who I am anymore. I've wanted to be a writer since I'm 10. And yet I haven't done anything to further this goal. I have these ambitions live life to the hilt and being my best self. And yet, I'm hopeless. I'm not athletic like my work wife. I'm not able to paint or sculpt or make music or create anything on a grand scale. Am I not living up to my potential or do I have delusions of grandeur?

I'm swimming with sharks.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


And we are getting down to the wire w/ only episode of Top Model left before they announce this cycle's winner. As I have stated numerous times previously, I love love love Allison but I have a sneaking suspicion it'll go to Teyona, or as SexyBeast her "Alien". As he likens her to H.R. Geiger's creation of the Alien movie franchise.

And it's boogie time. Yes, yes y'all, we have approached that seasonal epi where the hamsters have to perform a native dance. And Celia kicked butt at the samba. What the fuck does dancing the samba have to do w/ modeling? For a reality game show, this sure isn't reality based.

And for the photo shoot, expert photographer Tyra(nt) Banks shot the hamsters as edgy fierce birds. Holy hairdos, Batman! Personally, I think she just wanted to be mean to them 'cause she shoved them in nests in the Brazilian jungle. Ouchie! Winning photo went to Allison for an awesome baby owl impression. She actually cried in relief, so cute. And getting the boot is Celia for being an old coot. She can always have a fall back career as a stylist.

Next week: we have a winner

Monday, May 11, 2009

Meme #168

Happy Monday Meme day! Comment and enjoy : )

1) What is the best thing you have ever won as a prize? I recently won the lush giveaway from Lydia at It hasn't arrived yet but I know it's going to be awesome.

2) What is one thing that repeatedly makes you angriest? Racism and intolerance.

3) What song always makes you laugh, no matter how often you hear it? Either "Pour some Sugar on me" or "I'm Too Sexy".

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "I need to get SCUBA certified."

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Fo Sho'

Hello, blogging friends! It's time for the weekly Top Model recap.

It's that time of the year, where the hamsters have to go and see clients. AND be mindful the time limit. And wow, what a pile of suckage for Celia, who was literally a minute late, and Fo for being really really late. They got left behind while Allison (yeah!), Teyona and Aminat took a helicopter ride over the city to meet w/ their judge. And Teyona was the big weiner, having both a great walk (true) and a great photos (FALSE). And as the weiner, she got clothes from all the designers from the go and see.

And hot hottie judge Nigel Barker was this week's photographer for the photo shoot. The hamsters were posing on the beach in teeny tiny bikinis in a crowd. Lots o' pixelated butts! Winning photo went to Teyona. Say what? As my friend Lydia pointed out, Teyona looks like Bevis. And going home is Fo for being 5'8". Kinda short for a runway model. And they kept Celia, who's 25, too old to break into modeling. Which is really fucked up if you think about it. 25 is a baby. But now at least Fo can return home to get her GED.

Final four, bitches!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Glad Game

I've been having an I hate myself kinda month so far. Which is weird 'cause the weather has been nicer and the days are getting longer.

I was watching one of my fave Family Guy epis in which Stewie tries to cheer up his future self by making a list of the all the things that make him glad. Here goes:

1) Remembering when I used to eat P- Chops chocolate chip muffins on Saturday morning while watching The Smurfs. A good period in my life, before cliques and body issues.

2) Diving into very cold water on the a hot day. Growing up we had a pool and more recently we have a log cabin on a lake, being near water is very important and healing for me.

3) Music, music, music. Music is my life blood. I constantly am plugged into the ipod or listening to CD's or the radio or Pandora. And nothing can cheer me up more than ska music. The Specials all the way!

Thanks to everyone for listening to me whine and complain! I appreciate the kind words.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Hello, all. Figured out Opera does not support copying and pasting photos. Read, comment, enjoy!

1) What is the latest song or band/singer that you have discovered to be perfect for your life right now? Wow! So many. Music is my life. Top 3 are Gomez "Airstream Driver", it's pop rock at it's finest. "The Great Defector" by Bel X1, they sound exactly like Talking Heads except they're Irish. And finally The Postal Service, a side project of Ben Gibbard from Death Cab for Cutie. It's layered and haunting and amazing. Which pretty much sums up how I'm feeling right now.

2) When do you find yourself the most politically incorrect? When I'm goofing around w/ SexyBeast or my friends.

3) What book would you rather had never seen the light of day? The Life of Pi!!!!!!! I hate that pretentious piece of clap trap!!!!!!

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. I am the great defector.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

The Summer of Sue

As I've stated before I'm completely addicted to Pandora Radio. Kate Bush is telling me to "Don't Give Up". It took a day of serious contemplation to get my thinking back on track. 

Therefore I have made some very important decisions. I will be doing more "new" things this year. I want to stretch the limits of my capabilities. I went to a batting cage w/ my work wife last weekend. I am not athletically inclined. Point of fact, I'm dead clumsy. Out of 36 balls, I hit four. BUT, I was doing it. I felt like I really accomplished something. I want to learn how to sew, I want to take more dancing classes, I want to see more. I want to be a better person.

I'm going to start going back to my therapist. I cannot rely on my friends and boyfriend to keep bolstering me up. It's not fair and it makes me into a time burgler. I don't want to steal anyone's precious time. I have to learn to depend on my mistakes.

And most importantly, I am going to complete a story and submit it for publication. I'm sick of talking about writing. It's time for action.

As Leslie so accurately assertained, I got the title from Seinfeld. Don't know about frolf though.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Queen of Bad Ideas

I got ridiculously drunk last night. I was mean to SexyBeast. I'm full of self-hate. I hate my body, my mind, everything. Everything is wrong.