Total Pageviews

Monday, August 31, 2009

A Tired Meme

Monday. No sleep. Talking like a caveman.

1) Have you ever broken something intentionally? Yup, when i was 10 and angry

2) Do you ever read poetry? Bukowski, Plath and Poe.

3) Have you ever played hooky from school or work? Have you ever been caught playing hooky? YES!!! Never ever ever 'cause I'm slick like that

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "Care free and happy"

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Zero Hour

OK, I've decided I've been wallowing long enough. I need a project to complete to fruition. I have a few things going on at the mo'.

#1 Our house closing was Friday. Lots of little things need to be done before we can move in.

#2 I've been sending out my short story "Anchor" electronically. I'm going to get my shit together to start mailing it out the old fashioned way. Which leads me to the thought, Holy Shit I remember when we used carbon paper to copy stuff.

#3 I bought Generation T last month and have yet to make a tired ol' shirt look fabulous and Phairhead-esque. Gotta get on the stick w/ that.

With most of my money going towards house stuff, I'm feeling disappointed that I won't be able to participate in the Boot Camp Challenge at the JCC (Jewish Community Center). It's a 6 week program wherein you get the most intense workout of yr life and learn the nitty gritty of proper nutrition. I think this the thing I need most right now. However, I don't have 250 smackers.

Onward and upward (I hope!)

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Still vacilating (no spell check, sorry!) between self-loathing and trying to be OK w/ myself and my body. You'd think after 34 years I could accept myself but sadly no. Too self-contained to maintain friendships w/ people, esp women. I'm lonely.

I was trying on dresses for an upcoming wedding. Nothing fit. I've been trying so hard, I work out 4 - 5 mornings a week, I watch what I eat. And to no avail. I wish I could be like those "size acceptance" people. Ya know, "I'm chunky and proud! I'm large and lovely!"

All these negative thoughts are seeping into my relationship w/ SexyBeast. He is of the belief that I am not fat and got very angry w/ me. Tells me my thoughts are destructive. I have to explain to him yr either thin or yr not. I am not.

The bartender called me pretty last night. I can't believe I'm reduced to feeling validated by someone who works for tips.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Vegas, Baby?

I always forget how many cheftestants there are at the beginning of Top Chef. 17! Sheesh! And not to be a sour puss but I don't get the attraction of Vegas. Probably because I don't gamble.

For the Quickfire, the cheftestants are split into 4 groups of 4. Instead of the Knife Block o' Doom, the cheftestants picked poker chips. Really ramming it down our throats that this season is in Vegas. Anyways, Robin the "old lady" chef ended up w/ the gold chip and lucky her gets to sit out on the Quickfire & has immunity from elimination.

So the teams are to take part in a mise-en-place relay. Bit recycled but at least we get to see the cheftestants prep different ingredients from the last 2 times we saw this. They must pick a person on the team to do each task: shuck 15 clams, peel 30 prawns (that's prawns, not shrimp, people!), clean 5 lobsters and butcher 2 chops from a prime rib. And it was neck and neck for the blue team and the black team. I was rooting for blue and wouldn't ya know it? They won! Huzzah!

But wait there's more! Now the blue team has to cook their mise-en-place. Robin is asked if she wants to compete in the 2nd leg of the Quickfire for $15,000. But she wants to keep her immunity. Playing it safe? maybe. But personally I think, if yr on a cooking show, then you should cook.

And sucking on the bottom of the Quickfire were the 2 boys! Mattin (very cute, I'm a sucker for an accent)who made mediocre lobster and Bryan made a crap celery puree for his rib eye. And winning the money and Quickfire was Jen who kept mispronouncing ceviche. Man that is such a pet peeve! I can't believe she's gone her entire life pronouncing that word incorrectly.

For the Elimination Challenge, the chefs had to conceptualize their number one vise. Personally I like the more esoteric challenges. My vices are many, I'm stubborn, lazy, hyper-critical, eat too much. That's the charm of me! And the winning the 1st challenge was Kevin (i like his beard a whole bunch) w/ his procrastinating slow cooked Artic Char and fast cooked turnip salsa verde. Anybody ever have Artic Char? The name sounds awesome but as I'm not a fish eater I have no idea what it tastes like. And first off the island is Jen V because she made clunky shit bricks of chile rellenos stuffed w/ seitan. I've got nuttin' against seitan but that is one protein you need to have the cooking technique down.

Game on, bitches!

Brand New Frontera

And so we come to the close of Top Chef Masters. I personally thought it was a nice change o' pace from regular ole' Top Chef.

No Quickfire Challenge, this is all business folks. And it was probably the most awesome finale challenge ever. The chefs had to tell the food story of their lives: 1st course, 1st food memory. 2nd course, the dish that inspired the chefs to become chefs, 3rd course, the dish that inspired their 1st restaurants and 4th course, the future direction of the chef's culinary path. WOW! That is truly a spectacular way to end this season.

And all the winners of regular Top Chef get to taste the final meal, ooooohhhh hunky Hosea ; )

And the big winner was of course Bayless. Sorry Cheeks! But you can't stop the Mexican machine! Barbequed quail, chicken mole (yum!), roast suckling pig and paella-ish dish. Bayless was my pick from the start and his charity was pretty fucking awesome too, an American farmer's foundation. We need more farmer's markets!

And regular Top Chef is back in the swing o' things

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Summer of Sue

I wanted to give everyone a quick update on my summer adventures. To remind all of my loyal viewers (up to 15!), I was experimenting this summer, pushing myself to do things I wouldn't or have never tried.

So I'm taking a bellydance class and I love it. I had taken a class before in VT but it wasn't nearly as intense and demanding as this. If I had a choice, I would run out and join a dance troupe right now. It's freeing and having breeder's hips helps! It also got me SERIOUSLY considering about getting involved w/ Burlesque. I need a good name, so if anybody has any ideas let me know...

I went to see Phish 2 weeks ago. I used to really love them when I was heavy pot smoker. Some down state friends bought the tickets and Sexybeast and I were off. The highlights of the evening: getting denied Jagermeister and Jagermeister products because it was for "VIP" only. Fuck you! SexyBeast: "But I'm trying to give you money!". Hearing Phish do a cover of "Rock N' Roll" by Velvet Underground, vastly different from Jane's Addiction version but awesome none the less and driving home in my undies 'cause we got soaked from a sudden and furious thunderstorm. I should drive nude next time.

And of course, I did one thing I did not like. I shot a gun, a 22, and a shotgun. I didn't see the appeal. Won't be trying that again anytime soon. No fun and heavy and uncomfortable and I couldn't see anything w/ glasses and trying to negotiate w/ the sight.

Stay tuned for more good times.

Naughty Me

I'm a total badass for doing this at work!

1) How do you go about making a sandcastle? I don't, they are stupid and boring.

2) Are you a tidy person? Hmmmm..... well I definitely have OCD. A place for everything and everything's in it's place. But I don't dust and I don't iron.

3) How is the traffic where you live? Depends, sometimes it sucks ass and sometimes it's D-E-A-D.

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "Leapin' lizards!"

Friday, August 21, 2009


I bought some new shoes. I feel like quite the foxy little mama. I even kept them on yesterday while SexyBeast and I engaged in some afternoon delight!

I also chopped off all my hair. At first I was really upset w/ myself. I was worried I was going to look like a boy or worse yet like my mother or some middle aged biddy. I grumbled for a few weeks, lamenting. All the while, SexyBeast telling me "It's hair, it'll grow back."

To refresh my loyal viewers memories, I have been trying to lose my huge overgrown gut. And while I'm miiiiiiiiiiiles away from my goal, I've have felt more svelte. Then I was inspired by a documentary on VH1 (the old people's music channel) called Lords of the Revolution: Andy Warhol. LOVE LOVE. And prancing along my screen comes Miss Edie Sedgwick and her short ass hair. God almighty what a style icon. Super short hair, black fringed eyes, super short dresses and fishnets. Got my Halloween costume. Now I just need the body. Plus I picked up the latest issue of Bust magazine and Oscar winner and dive extraordinaire Diablo Cody was gracing the cover...... along w/ her new short 'do.

Pretty sexy, no?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

What's my Name, Bitch!?

Wow, 2 posts in one day! How does she do it?

As it's Wednesday, I shant neglect my Top Chef recappin' duties. Top Chef Masters ends this week whilst the "real" Top Chef begins. Awesomeness.

For the Quickfire, a personal fave challenge was brought back. Blindfolded taste test! Hee, that's fun to write. Blindfolded taste test! OK, getting off track. Pretty self explanatory, name as many of the 20 food ingredients correctly in 5 minutes blindfolded. Michael Chiarello won w/ 7 out of 10.

Now some may say, Chiarello was being a little dick. Eh, maybe but really I think he took the Elimination Challenge VERY seriously. Can't fault the man to want to win a bajillion dollars for his charity.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants had to make a luncheon buffet for 200 guests. Oh no, how will they ever pull that off?! They get to choose 3 sous chefs. And not just any sous chefs, former cheftestants ( & one winner. Jesus Elan, do you not have anything better to do?) All the cheftestants interview their potential work mates. Chiarello made everyone show them their knife skills and made them call him "Chef". And dumbass Season 2-er Betty was bitching that she was insulted Chiarello made her call him "Chef". Hmmm, if I recall correctly, when yr somebody's sous chef, that's what you call yr boss. No matter how long you've been professionally chefing. Chiarello gets to pick 1st since he won the Quickfire. Heh heh douchebag Spike from Season 4 was chosen last!

Here's the craziest part, Dale from Season 4, who was a hot head no talent tried to fucking pick a fight w/ Chiarello. He kept screaming at Michael Chiarello while he was trying to prep. "What are you gonna do about it?! What are you gonna do about it?!" Does any anybody ever actually say that after age 16? Dale almost seemed like he was on the 'roids!

Ok, so everybody's dashing around and "surprise" the venue gets to changed. Frenzied packing up. And "surprise" the buffet is being served under the hot southern California sun. And "surprise" the cheftestants have to dump one of their sous chefs. That last surprise was pretty awesome actually.

And the big winner this week was Hubert for making an impressive 18 dishes. 18! Interesting though that the diners scored him low while the judges gave him perfect scores. I'm wondering what the discrepancy was? And packing their knives was Miss Anita Lo. I'm sorry to see the lone female go but nobody wants to eat raw seafood in the blazing sun.

As a side note of interest, I passed the civil servant exam. And I'm proudly patting myself on the back, I placed 6th out of 125. Now we wait...

Late Meme

Sorry for the lateness, I've been busy w/ stuff and things (read: concerts, SexyBeast and movies)

1) What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten? Squash flowers prepared like fritters. It's an Italian thing.

2) Where is your favorite place to shop for clothes? Target, Kohl's and Macy's

3) Describe your perfect day? I get to sleep in, feel energized from my work out, eat a leisurely breakfast of waffles and fresh fruit, have sex w/ SexyBeast about 3 times that day, finish a story, have a quickie, get a pedicure, watch a funny movie and eat prime rib.

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. Well, my Acer notebook can't copy and paste photos. Balls! "Nasty bug!"

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Graffiti Eyes

Before I start Top Chef recap, I would just like to reiterate, if you don't like my opinions or my posts, don't read my blog. "Freedom of choice is what you want/ Freedom from choice is what you need" --Devo.

Anyways, for the Quickfire, we again are transported back in time to Season 3, when the cheftestants had to put a spin on the much celebrated hamburger. HMMMMMM...... meat. Personally I like mine w/ bleu cheese and pickles. And my hot and VERY TALL chef CJ won that challenge. And the one of the judges for the Quickfire was annoying Spike from Season 4. Bad chef and kinda douchy. And coming in w/ the lowest points was Anita Lo. What? Shocking! She took a chance on making cheddar soup w/ meatballs. Good! But it had no flavour. Bad! And for the first time ever there was tie for the Quickfire winner betwixt Rick Bayless and Michael Chiarello. Both sounded amazing, Rick did a burger queso fundido (crispy cheese) and 3 kinds of guacamole. 3 kinds?! Hello, I'm in love. And Michael did a ginormous burger w/ 4 squishy rolls. Bigger is definitely better.

Some interesting things I have observed, Kelly Choi, the hostess, actually used the word cheftestant. Awesome! She must read Wish I could take credit for that awesome word usage. And the other, wow Michael Chiarello has gotten grey! I loved his show on the Food Network, that is now defunct.

For the Elimination Challenge, cheftestants had to each make a course for a luncheon hosted by Zoey Deschanel of Elf and The Happening fame. And she sings. And has creepy blue eyes like a scary china doll. But of course there is a catch, Zoey is a vegan and has a gluten allergy and hates soy. Wow, no wonder she's so thin. She lives off of air. I also quickly scanned the lunch table for Zoey's famous sister, Emily Deschanel, the star of one of my fave TV shows, Bones. No Emily
: ( And the big winner this week was Michael and his quinoa pasta. It looked really hearty and spicy. Yum. And packing up was Art Smith. Awwww. That sucks. He made me laugh. However, his Rice Dream ice cream w/ strawberry ribbons didn't cut the mustard. Personally I think he should have been spared 'cause he made nut brittle w/ no butter. Miracles!

I'm listening to Sarah Vaughn on pandora. Nice way to end my day.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Gubmint Cheez

As some of you may know, I moved back in w/ my parents in Sept '07 as a result of a severe financial crisis. Last summer, the 'rents moved up to the Adirondacks, leaving me blissfully alone. SexyBeast and I were still in that courtship phase and I was spending my carefully saved money like a drunken sailor. Needless to say, I had negative monies come autumn.

In an effort to tighten my belt, I decided to check out this program dealie that Food Pantries of the Capital District puts on called Extra Helpings. I get meats and some fruit and veg for CHEAP. And it's quality shit too! And best of all there's no age or income limit. In June, I got a a pound of pork tenderloins wrapped in bacon, 2 lbs of breaded chicken bits, a pound of ground beef, 3 lbs of Italian link sausage (hee it looked penisy!), a pint of fresh blueberries and grape tomatoes. I'm still working on the sausage, 3 lbs is an ass ton of meat. I'm not someone who generally enjoys breaded chicken tenders but the breading is nice and light. All for the low low price of 20 bucks.

Last month, I got a box of broccoli and cheddar stuffed chicken breasts, a pound of burgers, 4 lbs of chicken wings, chopped sirloin ( in which I made the most divine low fat steak sangwitches), celery and baby carrots and the bonus special of the month, for an extra 10 bucks, 2 lbs of bay scallops. Unfortunately, the scallops came frozen and even more unfortunate, bay scallops do not taste like sea scallops and ended up giving my special homemade curry noodle scallops to my pops and SexyBeast. A lesson learned.

Next month, I didn't like the big box of specials, but I am getting 10 lbs of pork ribs.

Barbecue at my house!

Monday, August 10, 2009


Happy meme day Monday!

1) Do you express how you feel or do you keep it inside? I ruminate for a minute and then I spew like a volcano.

2) Are you a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? Both! And that's not taking the weasel way out. Some nights I can hear the neighbors fart, other times a nuclear blast couldn't rouse me.

3) Do you remember the first names of all the bosses you've ever had? Sadly, no I don't. I sat here for a minute and I'm drawing a few blanks.

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "How could this have happened? How?"

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

We are the Champions

Happy Wednesday, all! Let's jump right into Top Chef recap, shall we? Totally rhetorical by the by,as you don't really have a choice while yr reading this post.

So, it's time for the grand champions to come together and starting knocking their opponents out the kitchen.

For the Quickfire, they brought back the mise en place relay from Season 3. As I recall, the underdog team w/ awesome cheese farmer Sarah Muir won. Let me break it down for yous: the cheftestants are broken into two teams and assign one cheftestant a task to go head to head w/ a cheftesant on the opposing team. They had to shuck 15 oysters, dice 5 onions, butcher 4 whole (dead) chickens, and crack open 5 eggs and whip them into a meringue. It was totally exciting because it was neck and neck. And the winning team consisted of Anita Lo, Hubert Keller and Rick Bayless. Love Bayless, yr habenero salsa kicks ass!

For the Elimination challenge, the cheftestants had to improve upon a fellow cheftestant's signature dish. Poor Suzanne Tracht really should have put her own spin upon Art Smith's grouper dish. She kept bitching about how tricky it is to work w/ grouper. Needless to say she got das boot. And best dish went to Anita. Can that women do no wrong? She reworked Hubert's dish of lobsters and truffles and corn Madeline. Not only does Anita know Asian cuisine but she fucking studied in France too!

Next week: they cook for creepy Zoey Deschanel

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


So I had the great honour and privilege of seeing the Yeah, Yeah, Yeah's in concert on Saturday night. HOLY FUCK!!!! So amazing. Unbelievable beyond description. I want to be Karen O. Her voice was magnificent. And she looked dead sexy in her leather outfit. It was perfect.

Except they played the one song I actually despise, "Modern Romance", it's plodding and blah. Heh heh, during "Maps", some drunk fucker douchebag kept reeling back, nearly crushing my work wife. "Hey buddy! Could you move or something? I really like this song." He slobbered all over her, "No! Get in front of me! Get in front of me! No! Get in front of me!" At which point, SexyBeast intervened. He had no idea what was going on, he just assumed Drunken Asshole was hitting on my work wife. "LEAVE HER ALONE! YR REALLY STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!" Sexybeast had fury in his eyes..... and fists. Drunken Asshole decided to make amends w/ SexyBeast and shook his hand, to which SexyBeast replied "I have no idea what yr talking about."

They played at a most excellent venue, Northern Lights in Clifton Park. It's located in the suburbs of Saratoga county at a strip mall, next to a church. Good times, esp during the metal shows! I saw Moby perform there w/ Wicked Messenger ( 10 years ago on Aug 3rd. And 10 years later there's still no ventilation and the seating still sucks even though they expanded. But it's a really great place to see live music.

The opening act was a Lady Gaga wannabe, Amanda somebodyorother. Meh to the nth degree.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Brain Vomit

1) What time do/did you leave your house for school in the morning?What time does/did your school finish? I left at 7:57 am. Work is done at 4:30 pm.

2) What sports do you enjoying watching in person? How about on TV? Baseball is much more fun in person. Rugby on the telly.

3) Do you have a garden outside your house? At my new house, there's shrubbery : ) and some mum type things. I know they aren't mums 'cause they only come 'round in the autumn

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. "Oh la la Sasson. The Jordashe look. Sergio Valente"

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Exciting News

Well, peeps I'ma bite the bullet. My still untitled short has been complete for several months now and on the advice of some friends, I have decided to shop my meager work of art around. I bought 2010 Writer's Market Deluxe Edition at my local Barnes & (Ig)Noble. This bitch was 50 bucks! But so so worth it, it has some great chapters on to how sell yr writings. Not to mention, a HUGE listing of magazines and trade journals that accept unsolicited works. So far, I've only gone through to highlight the places I want to send my "baby" to and I've only gotten about half way through that. My aim is to have my shit sent out by the end of August.

If I don't succeed, at least I'll have rejection letters to cover the walls at my new house.