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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Walk About

Top Model Recap Time!

Now I apologize, I missed the photo shoot because I lost track of time. So the chicks had to pose w/ AN accessory in the nude. I tuned in just in time for the judging. And Miss Jay Alexander has stepped down as a judge and in his place we have Andre Leon Tally. ALT, y'all!!! I fucking love him. For those of you not in the know, ALT is the editor-in-large at Vogue. He's the real deal, peeps! Winning photo of the week went to Jessica, one of the 3 chicks in this season of Top Model that has a kid out of wedlock. IDK, she's an attractive brunette, she doesn't do much for me. And packing it up was Gabrielle, who reminded me of a biracial Shelly Duval, but was a mess in front of the camera.

Walking lessons w/ Miss Jay. And I have decided I prefer Miss Jay off the judges' panel. And it's all about learning to take off coats on the runway and then, HEY, let's have the hamsters practice their runway walks in the middle of a busy intersection. Oy, I love the insanity! For the challenge, the hamsters had to walk down a runway and time it so the GIGANTIC swinging pendulums don't knock them into New Jersey. Most the chicks did really well except for Alexandra, the plus size gal for this season. First, she falls down the stairs leading to the runway. Then she gets CLOBBERED by a pendulum. Sexybeast says, "Oh man! Too bad she didn't get hit twice!" The winner was my redhead Brenda, she looked really statuesque.

Then there was all kinds of drama at the house. Ren, my lovely waif, had a realization that being on Top Model means you have to hang out w/ pretty, obnoxious idiots. I can sympathise, however, it was not a good idea to scream at Alasia to shut the fuck up. Then she screamed at Ren. It was bananas!

Over on the other side of the house, Naduah, the bald hottie, was spewing a bunch of lies. She modeled in Mexico but didn't make any money, turned down an offer to pose in Playboy and is married to Mr. Gorgeous Black Model. Lies, lies, all lies! Fucking weirdo.

At the photoshoot, it was an exercise in humiliation. Personally, I think Tyra Banks is sadist. The chicks had to pose w/ this idiotic perfume that sprays on purple while the crew blasted high force fans on them. Really stupid. Plus, where the hell is fabulous diva makeup artist Sutan? I sooo want to be his fag hag! And winning photo went to Raina w/ the gigantic furry eyebrows. Meh. I don't know what the judges see in her. And packing it up was Naduah because she wears too much makeup and her poses are contrived.

And the journey has begun....

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