The Short of it

I'm pleased to say that I'm making some head way w/ my dietary lifestyle changes. And I'm slightly less paunchy than I have been. Stuck at size 12 for the time being. Boobs in a C cup though! As God as my witness I will never be a D again ;-) Really addressing my snacking habits & traded in somewhat healthier chocolate for dried apricots. Plus in two weeks, I will be doing both Zumba and boot camp.

Yup, I'm a pretty girl.

Blankety Blank

http://thursdaythunks.blogspot.com/2010/10/thursday-thunks-hootinanni-style.html

Today's questions are brought to you by thecolor purple, witches' brooms, the number 800-555-1000, and hootin' anni.

1] We all love snuggly things, right? In your own words, explain how the "X" and "O" became symbols for kisses and hugs! Who the hell cares?!

2] Besides eliminating sticks, what would you put in a non-stick pan? Used chewing gum

3] x=y over pi squared. What are your thoughts on crematoriums having discounts on those that die in fires? That doesn't happen....ever

4] Tongue twisters are fun...but, it's torture to try to say lisp with that "s" in the word. What is your favorite tongue twister? Risque answers get extra credit! Eleven benevolent elephants

5] Cold weather is coming up. If it's zero degrees Fahrenheit, and tomorrow night it's predicted to be twice as cold, what temperature will it be? Below 0

6] Your significant other is upset with you, would you rather be skating on thin ice or be in hot water? Why? Hot water because I usually get a flushed face when I'm upset

7] What's worse, expecting the unexpected or being a wise guy? Expecting the unexpected because it usually ends being far worse than I can imagine.

8] What brand of vacuum cleaner sucks the best? Mine really sucks!!! Dyson all the way

9] How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Do you like playing with fire? No, it burns

10] Toys R us...what was your favorite toy? Spirograph...hours and hours spent on that sucker

11] Halloween is near...let's go grave robbing....what would you like to find? Nazi gold

12] Do you wake up or open your eyes first? Depends on the day

13] What mask would you wear to a Halloween Party? All white and expressionless....very scary.

Negro y Blanco

Sugar time Just Desserts recap!

For the Quickfire, the cheftestants had to create a dessert using savory foods. First of all, ICK. Second of all, didn't they bitch out and boot Heather G for using veggies last week? Morgan throws an elbow to the remaining bitchy Heather's face. He shouldn't have done that, foul! But then Heather moans and groans on and on and on. She claims she had a fat lip and poutily had wash cloth on her mouth. Idiots both! The losers were Danielle's disgusting corn and avocado mess, Eric's couscous apricot prosciutto yuckiness & Heather's nasty ass beets. Guess it wasn't worth an elbow to the face then, eh Heather? Zac won w/ his steamed beet cake. God, that sounds revolting! And in a surprise twist Zac forfeited his immunity to take 5 grand. He should have asked for 10.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants must make black and white desserts for the L.A. Times 128th anniversary party.

Some one "stole" Heather's Rice Crispie treats. This reeks of cheap pea puree! The mystery was never solved and I could give a fuck.

The big wiener was Yi(Gidget)'s structural blocks of tastiness. And getting das boot was Ericka. SAY WHAT? Bullshit. She did amazing stuff and one batch of soapy ice cream and she's going home. And yet Danielle that sucks hard at everything is once again spared.

2 ladies left. Sexist jerks!

I Smell an Imposter

I'm sorry my recap of Top Model is going to be short but I was having birthday dinner w/ my parents and in-laws last Wednesday (pasta e fagioli & black n' white cookies) and did not get home in time to watch the full episode.

For the photo shoot, the hamsters were made to look like famous fashion designers. Ugh, I really hate it when they dress the chicks up to look like dudes.

Here's the breakdown: Esther = Christophe Decarnin (sorry I don't know him!)

Chris = Betsey Johnson (LOVE BJ!!!)

Kayla = Vivenne Westwood (makes sense w/ the red hair)

Ann = Alexander Wang (again not someone I'm familiar w/)

Liz = John Galliano (beautiful clothes but he is not attractive)

Jane = Marc Jacobs (*sigh* handbags)

Chelsey = Carolina Herrerra (I keep thinking of crisp white shirts)

Kendal = Vera Wang (wedding dresses!)

And breaking Ann's winning streak was Liz. I guess it was all about the arched eyebrow. Liz is cute but such a fucking complainer. Here's a tip: life's not fair. And packing it up was Kendal's dullness.

More snarkiness next week, bitches.

Macabre Meme

http://curiousasacat.blogspot.com/

1) How far back can you trace your family tree? Great great grandparents...all Italian

2) What's your favorite comfort food, and why? Potatoes or pasta. I like anything you can add butter, bacon or cheese to make extra awesome.

3) Does listening to people with different accents than yours bother you? Is it hard, or fun? I love accents! They're really hot actually.

The Voice of God

Last week, SB & I had date night. A leisurely stop at Van's Vietnamese for my usual summer rolls. SB had the spring rolls. As I wasn't in a pho mood, I had the grilled lemon grass chicken. Moist and delicious!

Onto Barnes & (Ig)Noble for a tasty treat. I wanted a Vivanno but they have a limited menu at the B&N Starbucks. So I reluctantly settled for a gigantic chocolate chip and peanut butter cup cookie & perused the magazine section.

And the best was saved for last, Laurie Anderson at EMPAC. For those of you not in the know, Laurie is a musician, artist and inventor. I got her seminal and groundbreaking CD "Big Science" the autumn of 2001. To say it resonated and scared me all at the same time, would be an understatement. I got to her perform that following year. It was all spoken word, though in my eyes it seemed like storytelling. Dark but funny.

This time around, Ms. Anderson was show casing her new live piece "Delusion". She played her electric violin (which she invented!) & synthesiser while small film clips played in the background. She spoke about death and punctuation and the decline of America. What freaked me out was her scary voice modulator! It sounded like a demonic god. Oh and I should mention, Laurie has a voice like molasses. Slow and deliberate.

It was the first time I had been to EMPAC. It's like being inside a piece of modern/post-modern sculpture.

Check out her new CD "Homeland"!

Friday Thunks

http://thursdaythunks.blogspot.com/2010/10/i-see-dead-people.html

The TT questions are brought to you by Bud, the color of a bad backand the number 28.

1. Berleen is sending you away again. You can travel anywhere in the world; one destination per day from Friday through Monday. Where do you go and why? Costa Rica, it's far enough away but not so far that I would jet lagged and not enjoy it.

2. Would you keep a secret from the closest person to you if you thought it was in their best interest? Actually, I would.

3. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you that you have not revealed in some other crazy meme. I have OCD about the way I listen to music. It's a complicated system that I cannot get into right now.

4. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' BS) - what are they? Have our house in perfect shape, stay thin, be debt free.

5. If you could change anything about your living situation, would you? The disgusting cat hoarder next door. She's an animal abusing asshole!

6. Who is your favorite character from a comic strip? Please post one strip for us to laugh at. Lucy from Peanuts.
7. Now we have found you dead. What five people do you want to MEET in Heaven? Bettie Page, Joe Strummer, William S. Burroughs, my grandmother & Charles Schulz.

8. So since you are dead, what will the title of your life story be? "What are you Looking at?"

9. Word association time! What's the first thing that comes to mind when you see the word pleasure? Treasure

10. Kimber is by the Arizona ocean. She finds a message in a bottle. What does it say? Send sun screen!

11. Would you like to guest host Thunks one week? Answer “yes” here and email us here! If the answer is “no” who do you think would be a great guest host? No, Ace.