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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

America's Next Top Pretend Model

I blame my friend Lydia, I went to visit her in Seattle in 2004 and on a Wednesday night she said "I hope you don't mind, I like to watch Top Model." I had no idea this show existed and now it has become my guilty pleasure. Like most reality competition shows, ANTM chooses it's winners not based on how well they model but for who knows why, for some inexplicable reason they always eliminate the tallest, most attractive women first. My favourite reason for trimming the fat is the "no personality" model, say what? Tyra, you were a working model once, face it, most models are completely devoid of any personality.

I have decided every Wednesday I will be providing my canny insight on the show. For a more thorough and groin grabbingly hilarious recap, please check out the lovely and talented Potes at

My analysis of the 2 hour season premiere goes like this: there were semi-finalists, there were finalists and then there were the chosen 13. As per usual, only one or two women will stick out in my mind and they usually don't win. (But who cares. The chicks they dump actually get real work. Like Queen Elizabeth, the title is merely for show.) The premise of the photo shoot, the best part!, was sexily portraying hot button political issues. The best hamster of the bunch was Marjorie. She's a quirky white blonde French immigrant, she's weird/pretty. I give her 5 more episodes before "her nerves get the better of her". Shauvon the asshole got the boot. She was narrow minded jerk off, bitchily snarking at Isis, the 1st transgendered contestant.

Good luck, bitches!


Lydia said...

I'm sooooo sorry for hooking you on the crap! At least ANTM is tranny-licious this season! ;)

Smirking Cat said...

I watched it once at the gym, staring at it like a train wreck. The white-haired pretty boy annoys me terribly, Tyra is whiny and weird, and the "girls" (I can't stand grown women who call themselves girls) make me want to slap them. Repeatedly. The particular one I watched was the one where they modelled things like the dangers of smoking, and that was actually kind of neat.