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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

50 Kinds of Suckiness!

Sunday morning I awoke to a tummy ache. I thought perhaps my 6 year old niece may have given me her flu bug. So SexyBeast plied me with flat ginger ale and Triscuits. But wait something is wrong! Every sip and bite was excruciating. Wave after wave of abdominal pain. Only relief coming from the many cat naps I took all day.

I roused myself to watch The Simpsons (God I loves me some Simpsons!) but by the time Family Guy rolled around, the agony was unbearable. I tried to lay down on the freshly made queen sized mattress to no avail.

SexyBeast said, "Do you want to go to the ER?" To which I replied, "Better now than 2 am when I can't sleep."

Check in at 9:30, labs drawn, examination and one abdominal ultrasound later, I have gall stones. And since I don't show any signs of an infection, I have to be referred to a general surgeon to book my gall bladder removal at a later date.

Gall stones flare up from fatty foods. Therefore no fat in my diet until that sucker is out of my body. I'm eating healthier than ever and all I want to do is stuff my face with bacon onion pizza.

Off to my GP on Friday for a referral to a general surgeon. I'm praying they yank out my gall bladder before Thanksgiving. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to load up on Percocet just eat a slice of pie.


Leslie said...

Awww, man! That sucks! On Election Night, too - just when you could use some fatty foods.

I'll eat a burger for you. Just for your benefit. Not because I'll actually like it or anything.

Mr. Dave said...

Man, I need to check if I have gall stones, lord knows I eat me some fat. I too will fry bacon in your honor.

metalchick666 said...

Sorry to hear about your impending surgery. You really need to let them know beforehand that this cannot impede any ingestion of bacon. =)

phairhead said...

Leslie: thanks for taking one for the team!

Mr. Dave: maybe you could arrange the bacon in a decorative design. like a flower or a monkey.

MC666: I think I might keep a bacon countdown calender to keep my spirits up. :D

Albany Jane said...

Awww, dude!!! That stinks.

I've been on a healthy-ish food kick around dinner time (even the polenta is low on the butter, I swear!) and I've been eating this great salad that really puts a smile on my face.

It's fresh spinach, slices of asian pear, and a few crumbles of smoked ricotta salata. The pears are on mega-sale at the co-op for $1.39/lb.