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Tuesday, November 25, 2008


This week is going to be all over the place. Yesterday, I had my gall bladder surgery. Let me tell you all about it!

I get up, kiss SexyBeast, take a shower and then quietly panic. Get to the hospital for 9:30 am pre-admission testing. I register, give them my $75 co-pay (which is total fucking bullshit!) and wait for 2.5 seconds. Then the nurse's aid weighs me (150lbs. I call shenanigans!) gets my BP (102/70 lowish normal) and get a urine pregnancy test. She was going to draw blood and was bitching at me about being dehydrated until I explained through gritted teeth that I was fasting for my surgery..... TODAY.

Then I met w/ the sweetest nurse ever, Ellen. And she asked me a barrage of medical questions.

Then I was led to same day surgery and got completely nakee, the first time I've ever done that in front of SexyBeast and we didn't get freaky deaky. I put on the stupid backless gown and even more ridiculous hat thingy.

Then I had a lot of time on my hands , so I re-read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone for the eleventhy bajillion time. Then I couldn't concentrate so I watch Tony Bourdain in African Bush and Samantha Brown in New Orleans.

Then I got my IV placed and that pretty much sucked.

I met w/ the anesthesiologist and he had no personality what so ever.

Then I cried when the nurses took me to the OR. They gave me happy juice and I don't remember a damn thing.

I woke up in the recovery room in horrible pain and really pukey. The painkillers didn't do shit and I was hooked up to a blood pressure monitor my entire 2 hour stay in recovery. Oh yeah, I guess the painkillers did work 'cause I slept my entire time away in recovery.

Then back to same day, I was awake, alert and SCREAMING my head off. Awful gas pain underneath my rib cage. Don't think gross thoughts, they pumped me full of carbon dioxide so the doctor could see my gall bladder. I was also freezing cold and couldn't catch my breath.

I peed and watched The Simpsons (the one where Lisa becomes a cigarette smoking ballerina) and then SexyBeast and my mother picked me up and brought me home.

Don't how much I will be posting for the rest of the week. I want to thank all my friends and fellow bloggers for all their thoughts and well wishes


Lydia said...

Glad to hear you survived. How scary! I only had surgery once, if you can count getting my wisdom teeth taken out as surgery. I woke up in the middle of it (yikes!) so they gave me nitrous which made me cry like a maniac once I woke up.

Take the rest of the week off--watch crappy TV and get better!


Leslie said...

That doesn't sound like fun at all. :( I hope you feel better soon!

phairhead said...

Miss L: i cried from the anesthesia too! i think i yelled at the recovery room nurse. she was a bitch!

Leslie: yr too sweet. thanks for the kind words

Albany Jane said...

I am glad you finally got your surgery! Boo on those sucky medicals, though!

Please, make sure you get a lot of fat in your diet now. I'll meet you for sundaes!

phairhead said...

AJ: i'm such a cheat!!!! i've been bad since Thursday. could resist the temptation of fluffy mashed potatoes and Carvel ice cream cake? i'm only human : ) yr on for a date : )