The Rumours of my Death have been Greatly Exaggerated

It started off as a cold. Which led to a stupid fever blister on my lip. Then the congestion made me throw up green mucus. Then goopy stuff came out of my eyes & they sealed shut when I slept.

Bronchitis: pain, wheezing

Asthma: scary scariness not being able to breath

Tonsil infection: sore mucus throat

The thing that pisses me off is that my regular GP is on vacation this week & they couldn't just squeeze me in as an emergency. Off to the Doc in a Box, got the hook up w/ a free inhaler & it only cost bucks more than a follow up visit w/ my usual place. I declined the script for codeine cough syrup as codeine makes me feel freaked out & cough syrup tastes like ass. It didn't help that the doc said "it make you high!"

Hot chocolate & Kahlua time!

Mean Reds

Is it Friday yet?

I promise to you, my loyal followers, I will bring the awesomeness next week. I just can't get it up for you today.

Money problems, health concerns, general apathy....

How Dare You?

I am very upset w/ Ray's Helava Deli in Lake George! Instead of getting a breakfast sandwich, SB & I opted for the 3 egg salsa omelet w/ a choice of breakfast meat and toast. The person taking our order looked slightly confused but it was very hectic up in there. We waited and waited and people ahead of us were getting their food. We waited and wait and the kitchen staff were arguing that omelets weren't on the menu. We waited and waited & then SB screamed, "THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS! LET'S GO!" This was the magic words because, voila, "Yr food is coming right up, sir."

I thought we were in the clear but NOOOOOO! The food sucked, the omelet had bits of white in it, not even fucking whisked together properly, let alone folded nicely. The bacon was OK, could have been a bit crisper. And the toast was not toasted...it was bread w/ butter. I saw them place it in the toaster but I'm thinking now that the toaster wasn't plugged in.

I am also disgusted w/ Hearthstone camp ground. All the bathrooms smelled like pee & the floor were gritty. Apparently, it's OK to forgo the power wash & not refill the soap dispensers.

GRRR! At least I was drinking heavily over the weekend.

Exploding Head Syndrome

I was about to write a thoughtful post about the wedding shower but I'm slowly dying from a killer migraine.

And to my horror of horrors, I no longer have any Zomig. I'm blaming this on my menses, personally I thought that it was supposed to get better as one ages gracefully. Hmm...not so much.

I am the absolute opposite of awesome today.

What the Hell am I on about?

I was thinking about this blog. Remember when I used to write about cool stuff? Now I feel like a hack. Fucking hate this time of year!

So a few weeks ago, SB & I went to Stowe, VT. I'm not a skier & for the nearly 7 years that I lived in New England, I never went to Stowe.

We stayed at a cute little A frame w/ some friends that work for the Lake Champlain ferry company. It smelled like mould and looked like it hadn't been decorated since it was built in 1973.

So, the main purpose of journeying to the Green Mountain state was to watch a few of our knuckle headed friends jump into the freezing cold Lake Champlain. My initial thought was "The hell? Why" but after watching groups of people (little kids, fat dudes, etc.) run head first in a frozen lake, I noticed the looks of triumph on their bright red faces. It looked so liberating and fun! So next year, yours truly will be gathering donations and participating in "The Penguin Plunge".

The other highlight of my journey was stopping in at tiny coffee shop. Truly a one woman operation. It's nice to see a small business drive out Dunkin' Donuts! One of the specialities of the house is a "Dirty Chai", an awesome regular chai w/ a shot of espresso in it. Divine!

And speaking of hot drinks, we popped into Lake Champlain Chocolates. So overpriced!!! They could learn a thing or two from Lindt. But I digress. They have a concoction sold there called "Chai & Mighty", a mixture of chai and Mexican hot chocolate. Mix it in w/ some hot milk & a shot of Bailey's and yr in for a treat, my friend.

Maybe my awesomeness will come back soon...

That's What I Want

Money is the root of all evil. And fuck it I want to be deliciously EVIL! I'm either going to have to get a second job or a new better paying full time job. Neither prospect thrills me.

Anybody got a spare winning Lotto ticket?

Falling Apart

My doctor called me last week, "I got the results back from yr fasting lipid profile. I'm putting you on cholesterol meds." I begged, pleaded and pouted. So, unless I lose 15 - 20 lbs in a week, . I have to take the med. I fucking hate being on medication. I'm only 35 fucking years old!!! The shittest part is once you start the med, you cannot stop. I'm going to be on fucking Tricor for the rest of my miserable life.

The major side effect is muscle tenderness. This couldn't come at a worse time as I just restarted boot camp. So I can't tell where my aches and pains are coming from.

And, FYI, I've been battling my bad fatty blood for over 5 years now w/ diet and exercise. Just another perk to having polycystic ovarian syndrome.

I'm blue :-(

Oh Lord, Please Don't Let me Sink into the Abyss

http://curiousasacat.blogspot.com/

1) What are you looking forward to this week? This month? Thanksgiving...OBVIOUSLY!

2) What family or cultural tradition would you like to see die off permanently? Easter guilt

3) Write a 200-word story as fast you possibly can.

Once upon a time, there was a very sad girl that kept people at arm's length. A junkie broke her heart. She played w/ hearts. She got fat. She cried alot. She got thin. She cried alot.

"I think I'm made of glass.

I think I'm made of glass.

I think I'm made of glass.

I think I'm made of glass.

I think I'm made of glass.

I think I'm made of glass."

Ah-Choo!

I'm sick. I hate being sick. I'm a big, whiny baby when I'm under the weather.

The floors in my house are covered in dirty tissues. Food has a dull flavour. My head is killing me.

When I was kid, I liked being sick. My mother would make me toaster strudel, I'd watch TV all day uninterrupted by my brothers, consume mass quantities of red Kool Aid & have a cache of comics and magazines at my disposal.

Being sick as a adult sucks donkey balls! Last night, SB made me a hot chocolate w/ vodka whipped cream. And I think it cured me.

Sloth

When I was in Catholic school, I always thought wrath and lust were the worst out of all the deadly sins. But I was wrong, DEAD wrong. Sloth is killing me. I had this really great post about wedding stuff and there's all kinds of cool recipes I want to share and memes and recaps.

But I have a horrible case of the "fuck-its". I hope you all aren't horrendously tired of my lame excuse week after week but I just can't get it up for you folks right now.

And I need to decide what I should wear to Oktoberfest this Saturday...

Rutty Rutterson

Holy crap, y'all! I've been trying to write this post for a solid 20 minutes. Stop and start. Crap crap crap. Fuck! I'm a hack!

The truth is I'm already freaking out about my impending nuptials. The latest is my mother is being all pouty and upset because my future mother-in-law is coming along w/ us to go dress shopping. Back me up, guys. It's proper etiquette to have her at the bridal shop, right?

Now my car is leaking oil and I don't have the time or money to fix it until Columbus Day weekend.

Speaking of money, I'm never gonna pay off my credit card.

GRR! ARGH! Meh..

Blocked

Lately, I've been questioning my abilities as a writer. I've sat down in front of the lap top this weekend and I started and stopped a million times. I tried a different tack and decided to write the scene I saw in my head, that worked for my story that got published. CRAP, UTTER DRECK! I can't make it work and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I have it all inside, I think, but it's stuck.

I feel like giving up....

Q w/out a U

My depression is back w/ a sick sick vengeance.

I started feeling weird over the weekend, I don't have the best relationship w/ my sister-in-law and I'm not sure if I was being hyper-sensitive but it seemed like I was being alienated by my own family. Not to mention the usual aggravation from my mother.

Monday kicked my ass, do you ever get the feeling that yr getting less intelligent at yr job? 'cause that's me all over. Then SB's mother acted like she couldn't wait to get the fuck away from me after Zumba. Apparently it was more important to spend more time w/ her sister-in-law and niece than me. It was heart breaking to tell SB.

It's been a long time since I woke up from sleeping to weep uncontrollably. The sadness spreading throughout my body and psyche like cancer.

It boils down to me shutting out everyone. I've built up too many walls to make any friends.

Lost and lonely in the dark.

Lost

This day has sucked. I don't need to be forced into the mandatory "celebrations" at work. Thankfully, I had a client in crisis today and happily ate my lunch in silence w/ my book.

My mother is being gigantic bitch. She said I didn't look I was trying hard enough at boot camp and my clothes were unflattering (which is MomSpeak for fat). She has a tendency to exaggerate and doesn't really listen to me.

And the icing on the bitter cake, I lost something I really love.

Fucking miserable!!!

You Said It!

Over the weekend, SB and I went to Plattsburgh for a housewarming/kid's birthday party. It's a long drive, the weather was really muggy and there was big assed insects biting the hell out of us.

By 9:30 p.m., I came to an important realization: I have a low tolerance for large groups of people. I felt like smacking a ho! And I sure as shit didn't feel like sitting outside in the "sand pit". (Our friends built a log home and have no lawn) Plus, I was full of meat and logy! One burger, one hot dog, a piece of grilled curry chicken and a whole lotta of taco dip. Dang, I love that stuff!

So, I packed it in and read and fell asleep.

Check out SB's awesome magnet art. He's so creative!

Yr Standing on my Neck

Hurray Hurray! Daria the complete series is now available on DVD. I watched the show faithfully right up until the final season. When I was in college, it was part of Monday night ritual to eat crap and watch Daria. I would have eaten crap anyway but Daria legitimised it.

And when Daria betrayed her best friend, Jane, I felt like I was watching television history.

And boy, that show has not lost it's punch. I finally was able to see the last episode ever, "Boxing Daria" and I cried. Daria finally confronts her inner demons, she's a brain, the other kids make fun of her and she finds solace in books. Sound familiar?

Then it got me thinking, perhaps I have not changed much. At least Daria had a Jane.

Don't mind me, just feeling misunderstood.

Green Eyed

I hate my jealous side. It lurks and lingers and will never ever go away. And it makes me loathe myself even more.

I'm still looking for happiness in my job. I had a shit job working a hospital for 7 years doing mindless monkey work. And now I'm in a position where I have to shoulder so much responsibility, I think I'm going to fall to pieces from the pressure.

This weekend I was having a conversation w/ a friend type person. She recently quit her stressful bullshit job, for #1 to spend more time w/ her 1 y/o daughter and for #2 the company was a disaster, to go work for fellow blogger Jackie, http://littleluxuriespads.blogspot.com/. Low stress, Jackie is a cool chick, and there's other little ones to hang w/ the baby.

That oh so familiar GRR ARG feeling whooshed over me. I wish I had a cool idea or had a great opportunity to get involved w/. Why not me? Why is it always going to be against the world?

So, I'm going to stop being such an ass. I'm throwing myself back into writing.

Yr a Loon, Yr a Nut, Yr Crazy in the Coconut

I made a collage today in a restorative therapy conference. Working in the DV field I was itching to for some place to release my inner bitch and confront why I've been so unhappy at work.

Boy, am I fucked up! I inadvertently chose words in phrases in bright red that said things like "Irritable", "BIG Girl in a Skinny World", Freak-Out", and other disparaging comments. And for some reason in the corner I have a picture of a couple from the 19th century that look happy and in love.

You figure it out.

Fatty Fatty

So, it's the end of first 4 weeks of boot camp work out. I've diligently been keeping a food diary. And, man, when you are staring at the words, "I drank a lot of cider and lambic. I have no idea how much.", it really makes you reflect on what you've been shoving down yr cake hole.

Class doesn't get any easier, I sweat, swear and force myself to lunge walk across the elementary school gymnasium. I try not to compare myself to the younger women in the class that are much better shape I.

The "drill instructor" informed the class that there we wouldn't see much of a difference in 4 weeks. But my calves and thighs are much more toned, which is fabulous. However, my big fat gut is still around and I have zits all my back, behind my ears and the top of my head. Sounds attractive, no?

I also found out that my caloric intake should not exceed 1875. 1875 calories per day! It's going to be an impossible task.

Onward to the next excruciating 4 weeks....

Fairies Wear Boots

My 1st day of boot camp was today. I did 17 sit ups in 2 minutes. Not bad considering I haven't done a sit up since high school (I think!)

I have to keep a food journal of every morsel of food and non water beverages I shove into my cake hole.

I feel uninspired, unmotivated and FAT. Not a good frame of mind to attempt to lose 25 pounds.

We'll see at the end of 8 weeks.