My World is Beginning

I am a sufferer of depression and it gets progressively worse during the winter months. But one thing that keeps me going: Rankin/Bass Christmas specials. To date, I own all the ones available on DVD. I'm still waiting for The First Christmas Snow, Little Drummer Boy Part II, Jack Frost and The Life & Times of Santa Claus to be released. FINGERS CROSSED FOR NEXT YEAR!

Obviously, most people know and love "Rudolph" & "Santa" but included on my compilation DVDs are some lesser known productions. "Little Drummer Boy" is awesome because it includes a death by stabbing and fire scene.

"Nestor the Long Eared Donkey" isn't bad but the ending is ridiculous. The story goes that there was a little donkey w/ ears so long they drag on the ground and he trips over them all the time. The only thing protecting him from being euthanized is Nestor's mother. A bunch of Roman centurions come and take all the donkeys except for Nestor. But he gets the boot because his owner has lost money and help on his farm. Nestor miraculously reunites w/ his mother and then she promptly dies during a snow storm. Nestor and his guardian angel, Tilly, travel to Bethlehem so that Nestor can carry Mary, Joseph and unborn baby Jesus to the stable. Nestor's ears even act as sail on the water! Then, for some unknown reason, Nestor goes back to the farm and he's treated like a hero. What the what? How would his former owner know about Nestor and baby Jesus? Why do the other animals no longer despise his very being?

"Cricket on the Hearth" just plain sucks monkey balls! Marlo Thomas is "Bertha" and she has the world's most annoying voice EVER. And for some reason a shifty eyed sailor shoots a crow. Not to mention it has nothing to do w/ Christmas at all. Hans Conreid is the only saving grace.

Check out my awesome bookcase.

The Burgermeister Meisterburger is crashing the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer party. And Yukon Cornelius is letting him know that BM is not welcome!

Santa is trying to wave his dick around the two Bumbles but they're going to rip his head off. And I found out why Bumble has been so persecuted.

Hello-ween

It's no secret that Hallowe'en is my absolutely favourite holiday. I usually start planning our costumes some time around August.

We went as a 1970's private investigator duo! My dream was to find some really awesome retro duds at a local thrift store/consignment shop but it didn't exactly work out like that. Sexybeast got outfitted from the Troy Good Will, we found an excellent tacky mouldy green Hawaiian shirt and an eye watering suit jacket. Douche bag aviator sunglasses completed the look.

I couldn't find jack shit and ended up buying a crappy "retro" costume from The Costumer. BOO! But I did come up w/ a great back story for my character. Her name is Candy and she was a former prostitute saved by her new "employer". She answers phones and hinders all the investigations.

All in all, it was great night. And SB has awesome knife skills.

I Begin to Riot

http://mondaymahem.blogspot.com/2011/08/monday-mayhem-going-on-vacation-meme.html

Welcome again to Monday Mayhem.
Today we are going to roast going on vacation.
Have fun!

1. If you were to go on a vacation next week, where would you go to? New Zealand.....check out some falls, drink too much, sleep on the beach

2. What was your favorite childhood vacation memory? AW! Camping at Martha's Vineyard when one could do so cheaply.....all day the beach, playing on tire swings, my oldest brother let me ride on his handlebars & went zooming around the campground, cheap eats at the Black Dog Cafe.


3. Would you or have you ever been on a vacation without your significant other? Yes, our first "vacation" was a long weekend to Vernon, NY

4. What is your worst vacation memory? I've never had a bad time on vacation...HOWEVER I had the worst flight home in the world from Seattle to LaGuardia, violent turbulence the entire 6 hours in the air. It was a red eye and I didn't sleep a wink.Then the commuter plane from NYC to Burlington, VT sat on the tarmac for what felt like an eternity and then the toilet overflowed & we sat around some more. Then I cried at the airport parking lot because I couldn't find my car. Not so good times!

5. Who would you love to take on vacation with you and where would you go? My oldest, dearest friend in the world to Italy to see the Sistine Chapel.

6. What is the biggest waste of money vacation you have ever heard of? I don't waste my money....EVER

7. Who really needs a vacation? Your mother!

8. Have you ever done something on a vacation that would hope nobody would ever hear about? Obviously but my lips are sealed.

Disaster Area

I don't know about you but I had a great Memorial Weekend! I had some amazing beer, Saranac Summer Brew (it's a shandy!), relaxed w/ some great friends and BEST of all we had some great great great food.

SB busted out our new chicken roaster for the grill. There's even a tiny pan that holds beer, so we can still have beer can chicken. SB used a super secret rub & WOWEE, it was incredible.

SB also barbecued some ribs, finger fucking lickin' good man! I provided the sauce, the key ingredient is Doctor Pepper. I wish I could have scored some Mr. Pibb but that's life.

And to top it all off, our friend (let's call him Stoney) made his world famous pepperoni and sausage Stromboli. I can't knead dough to save my life, so any chance I can get some home made baked goods, I am all over that shit!

Good eats!

Lazy

No meme today. Instead I'm going to celebrate the awesomeness of the day.

It's Monday & I don't have to go to work. I don't have to deal w/ crisis or being the voice of reason. Nope I stayed in bed until 9am....I wasn't even sleeping, just lazing & occasionally reading and smooching SB.

It snowed last night and I'm not even the teeniest bit anxious about it because I have fuck all to do today.

Personally I think we should institute a 4 day work week...NO MORE MONDAYS NO MORE MONDAYS NO MORE MONDAYS!

Now, who's w/ me?

The Usual Stuff

Oh hey, Phairhead how did you celebrate New Year's?

I went up to Benson, NY to be w/ my family to play games, eat too much & generally have a good time.

Oh yeah, we also blew up some soda & modeled some tacky 1980's ski glasses.

Hallow Weenie

Check me out as a "spaghetti Western" & SB as a the Man w/ no Name from "The Good, the Bad & the Ugly". I had a wig but it looked hideous.

We ended up a local bar & it was the first time in a long time we had to pay full price for everything. The people there were very douchy. I saw the Great Milenko. And the DJ played a charming little ditty called "All my Bitches Love Me". We so need to find a new watering hole.

Red, White and Blue

I got totally screwed over by the idiotic regulations for vacation time @ work. SB went to Liberty, NY by his lonesome to hang out w/ our friends for 4 days. All alone :( Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I suppose. Blah, blah, blah. Cliche, cliche, cliche.

I took my pathetic ass up to the Adirondacks to my parents' log cabin, The Misfits blaring loudly from my iPhone. Last time I was up there, my mother was completely awful to me. This time, I had a really nice time hiking and swimming and sleeping. Lots and lots of sleeping. Bedtime was 9 am.

The absolute highlight was watching the perennial favourite, the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Challenge. Every year I pray that Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas will pull an upset and kick all the boys' asses. She is ranked #6 in the world for competitive eating. And she weighs 90 lbs. 90lbs! This year seemed slightly off, for starters Kobayashi "The Tsunami" chose not to compete over a contract dispute. Then winner Joey Chestnut could only eat 54 dogs, the humidity really created a major barrier for the gurgitators. But the mustard on the dog was Kobayashi showing up to Coney Island anyway and storming the stage, held w/out bail.

How was yr holiday?

Rocking in the Free World

We hit up the mountains for the long weekend because, coincidentally enough, both our families have places up there. It was pretty quiet, I ate a lot of edamame. The water was fr-fr-freezing!

The highlight had to be listening to awesome classic rock in Sexybeast's truck. Yeah, that's right, I said truck. I rocked out to David Bowie and The Cars. It was the best sunny day I've had in a long time.

Sadly, the insects ate us alive...

This is Halloween

So this Halloween was infinitely better than last year when I got diagnosed w/ gall stones. We started off the evening by eating a meat baby. I got the idea from www.thisiswhyyourfat.com, we made some modifications as it was just Sexybeast and I for dinner. As you can see, the head and body is meatloaf. Sexybeast found a great basic recipe from The Joy of Cooking. The eyes are pickles, I cut them into circles myself! An onion mouth, bacon diaper and jalapeno cheddar sausages for the appendages. Tasty but not something I could eat a lot of.

As you can see, we dressed as The Watchmen. I put the wig on and I was transformed. I loved it! "Gee, honey, I kind of feel like I'm cheating on you.... with you." The only thing I was pissed about was my stupid false eyelashes. I did feel I didn't look the exact part w/out them : (

We went drinking at our fave dive bar. Sexybeast threw up 3 times. We went to bed.