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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Lights, Camera, Watermelon

I did not post yesterday because I was EXHAUSTED. I guess I didn't realize how much I've pushing my self post-gallbladder yankin'.

Let me serve up a heapin' helpin' of Top Chef recap.

For the Quick Fire Challenge, the cheftesants had to make a breakfast amuse-bouche. For those of you not in the know, an amuse-bouche may sound like a sexual reference but believe me it SO not. It's like a tasty teaser of food. Something you munch on in one bite. And holy Christ look who the guest judge is, that douche bag Rocco DiSpirito. UGH! He is such a talentless chef whore. Anyways, at the bottom of the barrel are Daniel/Danny jerk face for his zucchini flower corn flake encrusted mess on a plate and Fabio because his banana brioche espresso cream dealie was too desserty. And in his interview he was bitter. Lame-o. And the winner was my girl Leah for a little tiny breakfast sandwich bite of egg, bacon and bread. Yummy ; ) Then Jamie gets her underpants all in twist and starts whining about how "it's not fair, Leah won the last Quick Fire, whah whah whah I'm a big baby!" Fair? Are you kidding? It's a competition, dumb ass.

For the Elimnation Challenge the chefs had to present a dish in 2 1/2 minutes on live TV. No one looked happy. Lots of flurry and people not finishing in time. It was insanity, people! The chefs got narrowed down to the 3 best and then surprise! Head Judge Chef Tom woke them up at 4 a.m. to tell them they were going on The Today Show to do a cooking segment w/ their dishes. I was expecting Al Roker (whom I secretly crush on!) or Matt Lauer but noooooo it was Meredith and Kathy Lee. Kathy Lee is fucking mental, she actually spit out pretty boy Jeff's middle Eastern concoction. But ultimately the winner was Ariane, whom I don't really feel is that a good of a chef at all, with her watermelon salad. Bleh. And going home is Alex for trying to do creme brulee for live TV under 5 minutes. Say what? And then he was bitching about "throwing me under the bus". Jesus Christ, I hate that expression. Bitch actually said his priority was his upcoming wedding and not the show. So how is it bus throwing by another cheftestant if you don't really want to be on Top Chef? Dink.


Lydia said...

Kathy Lee is an asshat.

I like Jamie and dislike Leah. Immensely.

Oddly, I'm a little bit in love with Fabio. Ugh. Kill me for that last sentence.

Also: Why the hell does Bravo make Top Chef run til 11:15? All they do is force more commercials down our throats. Plus, I have to get up early! My bedtime is 10:00 pm, so staying up til 11:15 is a killer. *hmph*

phairhead said...

What's wrong w/ Leah? : ( she's a great chef. when i was living in NH and i had to get up at 5:00 my butt would be dragging all day. when i move in w/ chris im getting Tifaux.

Anonymous said...

From where I stand, Chef Rocco is a pretty accomplished chef. Yes, he may be in many places. Yes, he may have a number of cookbooks. Yes, he's a celeb chef, but to call him "talentless?" I'm willing to bet that you, like the many millions of viewers of Top Chef, have NEVER tasted a morsel of his cooking. For that matter, how can you or anyone who watches the show possibly judge the worth of any chef in the competition? All we have to go on is appearance and the comments of the judges. It's a TV show, we can only rely on how things look and sound, or more specifically, what our own food and personality biases are. If you never have their cooking, can you really, honestly call a chef talentless or talented? I think not.

phairhead said...

Hey anonymous, guess what Chef Rocco used to have his own reality show and oh wow, he never cooked a damn thing. It was his aged mother. All he does is make personal appearances and hawk his wares on QVC. Don't criticize on my opinion. It's my blog, these are my beliefs. You don't like what I have to say, then go read something else.