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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Q w/out a U

My depression is back w/ a sick sick vengeance.

I started feeling weird over the weekend, I don't have the best relationship w/ my sister-in-law and I'm not sure if I was being hyper-sensitive but it seemed like I was being alienated by my own family. Not to mention the usual aggravation from my mother.

Monday kicked my ass, do you ever get the feeling that yr getting less intelligent at yr job? 'cause that's me all over. Then SB's mother acted like she couldn't wait to get the fuck away from me after Zumba. Apparently it was more important to spend more time w/ her sister-in-law and niece than me. It was heart breaking to tell SB.

It's been a long time since I woke up from sleeping to weep uncontrollably. The sadness spreading throughout my body and psyche like cancer.

It boils down to me shutting out everyone. I've built up too many walls to make any friends.
Lost and lonely in the dark.

7 comments:

Leslie said...

Hang in there, Sue. Family matters are not always easy, so I definitely empathize. I hope you feel better soon.

phairhead said...

leslie: thanks, feels like a long dark road ahead

the eternal list said...

:*

believe me, i know what it's like

Ace said...

The family shit? I feel like that a lot with mine. It sucks, but hang in there....it passes. Thinking of you and sending prayers up.

Just A. Girl said...

This too shall pass.

Hang in there. Take care of yourself. Keep up the exercise in spite of SB's mom. The endorphins are good for you.

phairhead said...

Thanks, everyone! i'm tired of feeling like shit

Sora Ryu said...

no you have friends! never feel like you're wall off. you're worth it. you're worthy of all you meet and don't feel otherwise :)