Slow and Low

Top Chef recap time!

For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants were greeted by Top Chef Master alum Tim (Boy do I ever!) Love. Oh that southern accent! Anyways, the chefs had to create a dish using cactus. Yum! I love cactus, I had a cactus salad once when I lived in Mexico. Plus, cacti are cool. See? They have a cool plural version of the word. And, ay chihuahua, the winner does not get immunity or special recompense. But they do get 15 g's. Hmmmm IDK, I'd rather have immunity than money. For the bottom of the heap, there was Ash and his thick, gummy bad tortilla not tasting like a grilled cactus sandwich, Ron because he used his cactus in a sauce over rancid crab and Mike V. and his train wreck of cactus ceviche. Really hating in ceviche in this episode but more on that later. And the big winner was Mike I. the douchebag 'cause he knew the secret of making non oozy cactus. I call bullshit! Tim Love hated his relish. Bah! I blame the show's producers.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants had to cook a high end lunch for ranch hands on a real working ranch using only barbecue pits. Kinda reminds me of Season 2 when the cheftestants had to cook breakfast on the beach for surfers using charcoal pits. This week's best dish was roasted pork loin, corn polenta, dandelion greens, and rutabaga made by Bryan. Sounds earthy. And that makes the 3rd Elimination Challenge in a row Bryan has won! The man to beat, ladies and gents! And packing their knives and heading home was Mattin. NOOOOOO!!!! What the fuck? One bad dish and he's going home? Lame especially since he got top marks in the Quickfire Challenge. I guess having shitty raw, chlorine tasting ceviche would send anybody home. Au revoir, Mattin!

I'll be seeing him in my dreams.