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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Key Lime Pie and Tater Tots

Top Chef recap time!

Wow, y'all! Lots of bitchy snarkiness abound, this season the cheftestants seem better suited to "Hell's Kitchen" than a serious cooking competition. Such is life, meh.

For the Quickfire, the cheftestants selected numbered knives from THE KNIFE BLOCK O' DOOM to select a partner to make a sandwich in 30 minutes. 30 minutes for a sandwich? Ah but all is not what it appears. The cheftestants had to share an apron w/ their partner so that each person could only one arm each. Lots of teeth action and Alex being completely freaked out about the possibility of losing a finger. Big baby :) And the bottom of the pack was Jaqueline (awww) & Stephen w/ their chicken and avocado on white bread w/ a gigantic piece of rosemary sticking out of it. Can you say shit sandwich? And loud Tiffany and ultra sedate Lynn w/ their messy mess of saltimbocca, goat cheese, artichokes, red peppers and white asparagus on flat bread. They told Padma & the guest judge that it should be eaten w/ utensils. Huh? It's a sandwich, ladies. And yet another nail biter for Quickfire winner between ANGELO & tracey and Kenny and Ed. Angelo basically used Tracey like a work horse, she had no input into the sandwich. And sadly Angelo and Tracey won w/ fish sauce marinated flounder w/ sriracha mayo and pickled onions. Grr! Plus those jokers got immunity from elimination

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants had to stay in their Quickfire pairs and pair up w/ another group. As the winners, Angelo and Tracey got to chose their partners first. They picked Kenny & Ed. I thought, "Woo! Team Powerhouse!" Hold that thought. The cheftesants had a budget of $130 to make a healthy lunch for middle schoolers, each chef is responsible for one component of the dish which needed to include an entree, 2 sides & dessert. I know absolutely nothing of this world. I went to lame ass Catholic school and there was no lunch provided. Yes, I brown bagged it from Kindergarten to 12th grade.

And wowee! Kelly is a snippy pippy, she's all "The tacos are my idea. I get credit for them." OK, settle down "Mimi". And Tracey, a professional chef, admitted that she's lazy making food for her kid and sometimes they eat hot dogs for breakfast. Dude, seriously?! Perhaps the hot dog diet is why yr over weight.

In a surprising turn of events, the losers were called back first to Judge's Table. And that stinking jerk Angelo tried to sabotage his own team in an effort to get Kenny sent home. They made no vegetables in their sides, there was sweet potato puree that looked like baby diarrhea & celery w/ peanut butter puree. Also in the loser's circle were Jaqueline & Stephen and Amanda & Tamesha. Amanda insisted insisted on making skinless chicken thighs braised w/ sherry. Sherry? You do realize that is alcohol and yr serving 11 and 12 year olds? This coupled w/ bland undercooked rice and the fiasco of Jaqueline's banana strawberry pudding. She added 2 lbs of sugar to make the under ripe bananas less starchy. And then Ed calls Amanda out on making an alcohol jus and Kenny starts talking smack about the over sugared pudding. Amanda starts screaming about fattening peanut butter and lack of veggies on Angelo's team. All of this in front of the judges. Nice. Then head judge Tom "I'm not a mentor" asks Angelo if he didn't have immunity would he still have made peanut butter and celery. Angelo stalls, just gave yr self away, you dick saboteur! Anyway, packing it up was Jaqueline. Aw :(

And Team Taco wins w/ Kelly the selfish as the super duper winner.

Watch this space...


Just A. Girl said...

I love Top Chef. At least the snippy Kelly actually served the kids something healthy and tasty. Celery and peanut butter for a professional chef? Please.

phairhead said...

JAG: Ugh Angelo is the worst!

Jon in Albany said...

You've got to get caught up. I think you are 2 weeks behind.

The thing I thought was missing from the school lunch challenge was the regulations. I'm not familiar with them, but from watching Jamie Oliver's show I doubt any of those meals would have met the requirements.

Seriously, sherry?

phairhead said...

Jon: i am up to date w/ all the epis but i'm lazy. i have to double top chef post this week :D