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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Red Hots for my Mommy

Oh people, what an episode!

And frequent guest judge and Top Chef Masters cheftestant, Elizabeth Falkner, is in the kitchen w/ Gail. For the Quickfire Challenge, the cheftestants had to take candy and transform it into a dessert. Mmmhmmm Sour Patch Kids! Those are my non-chocolate candy. But I digress. The losers were Heather C. (my fave) because she didn't incorporate any candy. Girl, that was the whole point of the challenge, head in game & out of ass! Eric's malt ball pudding, malt is a truly vile flavour. And Seth, who is proving he is quite a cuku bananas. He chose to make a passionfruit sorbet w/ red hots. Which apparently are his sick diabetic mother's candy o' choice. We know this because Seth curled up on the floor of the kitchen sobbing hysterically, "THE RED HOTS ARE FOR MY MOMMY!!!!" Dude, it's the second challenge. Calm thyself. I was embarrassed for him. Best candy dessert went to Danielle's worms in dirt and lemon soda. I fucking hate that dessert and I dislike Danielle. Her face looks like a piece of chewed up gum.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants took a road to trip to another Masters alum's restaurant, Mark Peel's The Tar Pit. That's kind of an awesome name, I'd drink at the The Tar Pit. Anyways, the cheftestants have to make a dessert inspired for a cocktail. The cheftestants took turns in numerical order to raid the bar. And yet again, Seth has another melt down because there was no grapefruit for his Greyhound dessert. Ah, my fave cocktail! Greyhound = grapefruit + vodka. So then when the cheftestants are plating for the judges, Seth "accidentally" destroyed Zac's chocolate squares. Also, while awaiting the judges' results, Seth started shrieking that everyone can suck his dick. Nice, all class w/ this guy. And yet this guy was not sent home for his crap that looked like blue sponges. Nope, unfortunately , Tim's poopy soupy pudding sent him a-packin'. And the winner was Erica's lime cookie, tequila mousse & Grand Marnier sauce. It looked like a pretty Margarita.

Next week, bake sale!


Jon in Albany said...

This guy Seth is out of control. I didn't notice the thing on his neck until it got mentioned here. Now I can only stare at it. So thanks for that...I was also embarrassed for him. On the plus side (for him anyway), his ego is big enough to ignore his actions and move on like nothing ever happened. Not sure his colleagues in future kitchen will feel the same way.

And whining over the grapefruit? WTF, which fruit doesn't vodka go with? Pick one and get on with it.

Erica proved herself to be capable of going the distance. Heather has found herself an opponent.

The show doesn't present any cooking technique. I'm still hoping that changes. The original Top Chef shows less than it used too, but you can still catch a glimpse of talented chefs going at it. The cooking shots in this series seem like random shots of people furiously whisking something in a bowl. The occasional blender shot is thrown in too.

phairhead said...

Jon: who knew pastry chefs had such flair for the dramatics?! Word up on the fruit/vodka combo. Just no more blueberry sponges.

Lydia said...

Dear god, goiter boy needs to go...NOW. Do. Not. Want!

phairhead said...

Lydia: he's not even that compelling of a reality show villain. he just plain blows!